perhaps I am the devil in heels

[RealisticBeauty]

That is all we need to know to see you are a shitty parent.

Ask yourself this. Do you think your kids have an ideal life? If you could do it over would you make the exact same choice to put them in this situation? If you could make changes would you honestly pick this? Of course not. Your kids deserve so much better.

You have fucked up your life and their lives. Don't even try to deny that.

No you really can't judge off of that. My kids are really good and well taken care of. They are truly happy kids.

Acting out like that is NOT "really good". "Well taken care of" doesn't mean gaming systems and Air Jordans. Your oldest wasn't respectful either. He needs to mind.

Ds is never disrespectful, everyone was out of character so that's why I referred to myself as the devil. I can't help but wonder if my presence made things worse.

[Bubbs]

I hope it all works out.
I’m not into attacking people for their choices because I’ve made some shitty ones myself

You need a plan going forward.
A plan for income, shelter, counseling.
You can’t do anything about what has happened. It’s all about next steps.
If you are serious about being finished with your ex, keep contact minimal and start the court process for child support.

[Anonymous 5]

It's funny (*sarcasm) you should mention Linda. For some reason, this particular post got me thinking of her, too. I think you hit the nail on the head. I think this poster enjoys the attention. I also think that, for whatever reason, she enjoys drama in her life. It could be that the reason she enjoys the drama is because it's all she has ever known. If any part of this story that she shares is real, I feel sorry for her and for all those involved. It is a very dysfunctional situation and it's a cycle that can be very hard to break. Has OP ever mentioned that she sees a therapist? I wish she would. It would help her (Heck! I think most people could use some therapy!) to feel better about herself and more confident about her ability to make it on her own.

I lucked out, my kids didn't have cell phones, WI-fi or even pagers (I'm that old) but I knew when they were not listening or disrespectful it was my job as Mom to rein them in. So I'd get 'em where it hurt. My younger lost the power cords to his game systems, my oldest lost the use of the phone. They learned early on that rules were for following, disrespect was not allowed and good behavior was rewarded. OP's son was disrespectful to both parents and disobeyed. I think Dad should have kept his cool but obviously there was no backup for Dad in the situation and the teen took advantage.

And given the op's situation, assuming it's real, I don't blame him. He is in an unstable situation and nearly an adult. And here I am getting sucked in. I said I really didn't want to and now I have to eat my words.

I do too so never assume you're alone. I hate train wreck posts because to me there's something wrong with deliberately setting yourself up to get critiques you won't listen to ever. But like w/ Linda, I tend to want to help. I'm 99% sure my words go unnoticed because I think OP likes the negative attention, but just in case that 1% gets through...

[RealisticBeauty]

Sounds like you and your son's father were having the dispute over parenting, and that escalated the situation. You can't walk into someone's home and start telling them how to parent, even if it is your own child.
If you think he is not a healthy parent then ask your son to come live with you elsewhere. But at 17 he is most likely to want to stay put.

Not sure what you mean by "renter" in this case. Is your EH (or ex partner) on a lease document? If so, he can come back at any time and have you removed from the house. If there is a lease, then you have a reliable income to build your own life. If you are co-owners and he lives there with your kids, you need to build your own income source.

You need to be in a stable place that you can afford to cover financially entirely on your own. Apply for CS through the court for your 1 year old and let the court handle things. Regardless of the ups and downs of your relationships your children need a place that is secure and safe.

And I agree with your worry about your pregnancy. Many studies have shown that stress during pregnancy effect the brain development of the fetus due to increase levels of cortisol and other hormones in the mother's blood stream. It is extremely important to limit the stress and your own reactions to circumstances. Please take care of yourself and use mediation, exercise, music, or whatever method works best to keep your body calmer.

Ds doesn't want to move and I don't blame him. I only stepped in because I heard it getting out of control, I never imagined that his dad would take it that far in front of me. My job is to protect my kids and I will do that until the day that I die.
We do not have an official lease agreement because we trust each other and so far everything is great.
I will concentrate on taking better care of myself because I'm so scared of the effects on my baby, thanks!

[Anonymous 11]

Maybe you should start doing that. You are not a good parent.

You guys only heard a very small portion of my life.

That is all we need to know to see you are a shitty parent.

Ask yourself this. Do you think your kids have an ideal life? If you could do it over would you make the exact same choice to put them in this situation? If you could make changes would you honestly pick this? Of course not. Your kids deserve so much better.

You have fucked up your life and their lives. Don't even try to deny that.

While I agree this poster has more trouble making good decisions than most of us, has parents we all have things we would have done differently for our children in hindsight. Even you .

[Olioxenfree]

I don't know why he isn't returning or answering his phone

Have you not called the police?

No he's a grown man and he left willingly

Being a grown man doesn't mean you can't file a missing persons. He left under emotional duress after a physical confrontation with his son and you haven't heard anything from him since. You don't know if he is a danger to himself. Why would you not want to at least call them to document what happened with your son? Because the first thing they will ask in custody court when you bring that up is "and you didn't call the police?" You could at least pretend to care for your kids sake.

[RealisticBeauty]

That's what I want to know, too. What prompted her to finally leave and go live with her EX?

I want to hear the long story about why you left SO

He had a meltdown as usual over some dumb shit, I used to cater to that shit but now I just ignore him however his meltdowns are now affecting our ds. Ds loves being around his dad. When my SO was going through his meltdown he completely checked out of parenting. DS fell and bumped his head and went straight to his father for comfort and my SO totally ignored him, wouldn't even acknowledge his existence. Day 2 of the meltdown continues and I told him to look after ds while I showered. I came out of the shower and ds was on the counter eating tums while my SO was still in his ignoring us phase. Two days of not acknowledging us. I was ok with him shutting down from me during his meltdowns but now I've noticed that he will do the same thing with our kids during his meltdowns.

[Baconqueen13]

Real depiction of RB's life


The common factor in the continuous train wreck that culminates the OP's life is RB herself. Let's face it she's nothing but a shitty manipulative money seeking whore that couldn't parent a rock much less her actual children. Shit she can't even manage to procreate with a functioning adult. So yes RB this IS all your fault. Your kid is going to come out all fucked up because you are an epic f**k up and will damage your kids yourself. Deal with it or shut the f**k up already.

[Anonymous 5]

His meltdowns are not just NOW affecting your ds. You have told story after story about his poor parenting choices/treatments. Please don't say that this is NEW behavior. If you said, "I've just had enough of how he is," I'd at least believe you.

I can't recall every detail about all of your stories. But the one consistent theme seems to be that you make choices based solely on how YOU can reap some sort of benefit from it (or at least that's how you portray yourself).

I don't believe that your SO ignoring your son is why you chose to leave. I'm glad you left. And I hope you make a good/stable life for yourself and your children. But I don't believe your SO's treatment of your son was the cause for your departure. Something is in it for you. Or at least that's what your past history leads me to believe.

That's what I want to know, too. What prompted her to finally leave and go live with her EX?

I want to hear the long story about why you left SO

He had a meltdown as usual over some dumb shit, I used to cater to that shit but now I just ignore him however his meltdowns are now affecting our ds. Ds loves being around his dad. When my SO was going through his meltdown he completely checked out of parenting. DS fell and bumped his head and went straight to his father for comfort and my SO totally ignored him, wouldn't even acknowledge his existence. Day 2 of the meltdown continues and I told him to look after ds while I showered. I came out of the shower and ds was on the counter eating tums while my SO was still in his ignoring us phase. Two days of not acknowledging us. I was ok with him shutting down from me during his meltdowns but now I've noticed that he will do the same thing with our kids during his meltdowns.

[Anonymous 8]

That's what I want to know, too. What prompted her to finally leave and go live with her EX?

I want to hear the long story about why you left SO

He had a meltdown as usual over some dumb shit, I used to cater to that shit but now I just ignore him however his meltdowns are now affecting our ds. Ds loves being around his dad. When my SO was going through his meltdown he completely checked out of parenting. DS fell and bumped his head and went straight to his father for comfort and my SO totally ignored him, wouldn't even acknowledge his existence. Day 2 of the meltdown continues and I told him to look after ds while I showered. I came out of the shower and ds was on the counter eating tums while my SO was still in his ignoring us phase. Two days of not acknowledging us. I was ok with him shutting down from me during his meltdowns but now I've noticed that he will do the same thing with our kids during his meltdowns.

What “dumb shit” was he melting down over?