Reaching out to “family”

[AsstChief]

It would depend on who I was reaching out to. I 'reached out' to my older sister for 10 years before she finally acknowledged me. A year later she died. I'm thankful I never gave up.

[Anonymous 1]

So start tossing them and don't worry about it. Do you get upset over getting junk mail? It's junk mail. Toss it and move on.

I’m not necessarily upset. Mostly confused

What's confusing? These people have been given no reason for how you treat them, you haven't fought with them, and you refuse to be an adult and have a conversion to actually tell them you don't want to be part of their family. How do they know you haven't moved and that's why you don't respond to cards/letters/mail? They don't know what's going on in your life or what you might be dealing with BECAUSE YOU DON'T COMMUNICATE WITH THEM.

Be an adult and tell them your thoughts. People can't read minds. Stop being confused.

It’s been 15 years and it’s not like we were close before. I don’t want to open any lines of communication. My brother has communicated my desire to be left alone. I DO NOT WANT TO COMMUNICATE with them. I would have given up by now. I don’t want them to know a single thing about me. I have the right to that

[SisterSomeone]

I don't chase people down. I will reach out and actively initiate making plans once, maybe twice, and then I'm done.

[Anonymous 4]

If you really want nothing to do with any of these people that you've mentioned, write them a letter and tell them so.

No, I never really knew them well & after I was done with my father, I was done with them too

If it was someone that I cared for and missed, someone who I felt was missing from the family, I might keep trying.
There was no definitive falling out to end the relationship, so they can't point to any reason for them being ignored. They may be confused. Where there's breath there's hope, so I can see hanging on to the thought that someone's heart might soften, when there's no clear reason for them to have cut off contact.

If it disturbs you that they continue to reach out, I'd speak to one of them and tell them you're not interested and end it.

They don’t know me to care about me. My father has left me alone and I’ve told his wife that I don’t want anything to do with any of them. It makes no sense to keep reaching out when I just ignore them.

[Maggie]

She probably holds out hope for her husband to reunite with his child.

[Anonymous 4]

Those that keep sending her stuff may be doing what you alluded to...playing with her.

But they also might be doing it so that it can never be said that they are the ones that stopped trying. If OP really wants those people to stop reaching out to her, I think she needs to send them a letter that says, "Please do not communicate with me by any means. I want nothing to do with you and I will not be responding. This will be the last communication that you receive from me."

If it was a family reunion, I would likely send them an invite, every single year, unless there is more to the story and you specifically requested me not to. But if you were just ignoring the invites, I'd keep inviting you to let you know you are always welcome if it fits in your life and schedule now.

I get cards that I started writing “return to sender” messages I ignore. Texts I block. In July all the time.

I don't think people know when you block them, but if I knew you specifically went to the effort to "return to sender"or basically communicating "f**k your invite". Idk, I might leave you alone OR I might keep sending them to you just to mess with you, Idk, I'd have to have all the details.

[Anonymous 1]

She probably holds out hope for her husband to reunite with his child.

waste of everyones hope. it will never happen

[Pjmm]

If I cared enough I would keep trying until someone told me to f**k off. If I'm not close to the person I'd let them be. It depends on who it is. Without knowing your situation or them I can't say more. As long as they're not stalking your house or Facebook, simply decline.

[Maggie]

She probably holds out hope for her husband to reunite with his child.

waste of everyones hope. it will never happen

You can control what others hold out hope for. It’s a waste to you but obviously not her.

[Pjmm]

I’m not necessarily upset. Mostly confused

What's confusing? These people have been given no reason for how you treat them, you haven't fought with them, and you refuse to be an adult and have a conversion to actually tell them you don't want to be part of their family. How do they know you haven't moved and that's why you don't respond to cards/letters/mail? They don't know what's going on in your life or what you might be dealing with BECAUSE YOU DON'T COMMUNICATE WITH THEM.

Be an adult and tell them your thoughts. People can't read minds. Stop being confused.

It’s been 15 years and it’s not like we were close before. I don’t want to open any lines of communication. My brother has communicated my desire to be left alone. I DO NOT WANT TO COMMUNICATE with them. I would have given up by now. I don’t want them to know a single thing about me. I have the right to that

Then be prepared for them to keep asking. Are they Trump supporters? Bleeding heart liberals? You're adopted and this is the bio family? I really don't understand you saying no offense but I can't see you at this time.