What is the morally correct thing to do?

[Anonymous 13]

If the child is brought into the world, the mother does not get to choose whether or not the father gets to have a relationship with said child. She doesn't get to decide whether her reason is good enough to keep the father from the child. That's for a court and professionals to decide.

It's her life, not mine. If she did that, she'd probably have a really good reason to do so.

Would you be just as fine with her deciding to have the baby and not tell him?

He's not the one pregnant. She is so ultimately it is her decision. I'm fine with either scenario, actually. Like I said it's her life and no one else's. He can always find another woman and get he pregnant if he really wants a baby.

[Anonymous 16]

So if she decided to have the baby, would you expect him to pay child support since he helped create the child? Because if so, then he has a say now, too. It took two people.

[Momto2boys973]

Again, she didn’t ask whether you care for the guy or not. She asked what’s the moral thing to do and the moral thing to do is to be mature and honest and give the other all the facts so they can make their choice over THEIR lives. I would hope even the most misandrist if women would agree on ANy person, even a man has a right to make choices over HIS life with all the facts, not based on hiding secrets and lying.

*shrug* I don't care about all that. Whatever the woman decides in this case, I'm OK with. It's her life. She knows better than anyone the repercussions and the fall out. I don't give a flying f**k about the guy, like I said, he can go get another woman pregnant.

It doesn’t matter who’s pregnant. As I said, no one is suggesting he gets to decide on that. But the prospect of parenthood affects both parties. It’s his life and this could be a changing moment for him and he may realize he wanted to be a father after all and OP may not be the woman for him anymore. He has a right to know that. For all you know he may think that a pregnancy would may make OP rethink her position. But point is, he has a right to KNOW to make HIS choice over HIS life.

Let’s not ignore the white elephant here. If OP was sure that they’re both on the same page now, she wouldn’t even consider not telling him. She would’ve sure of his support, so why hide it? If she has her doubts it’s probably because she’s unsure that he would be on board. And therefore he has a right to know to decide whether or not he wants to continue in that relationship.

He's not the one pregnant. She is so ultimately it is her decision. I'm fine with either scenario, actually. Like I said it's her life and no one else's. He can always find another woman and get he pregnant if he really wants a baby.

[Momto2boys973]

Her decision is over her body. Period. And no one here has argued that. But she has no right to hide information to manipulate the choices of others. It is morally wrong to hide information from someone when that information would make them make an important life choice.
I have every right to tie my tubes and it’s my choice to make. That doesn’t mean that it’s morally right to leave my husband out of the choice because it affects him too. When you’re in a committed relationship, choices become more complicated than “it’s MY right!” Another person has things at stake too and he deserves to be informed and to have an opinion.

Neither actually. I simply believe that it's the woman's decision period. She's the one who has to live with her decision. Not me.

*shrug* I don't care about all that. Whatever the woman decides in this case, I'm OK with. It's her life. She knows better than anyone the repercussions and the fall out. I don't give a flying f**k about the guy, like I said, he can go get another woman pregnant.

[Anonymous 17]

I found myself in this situation two times. The first time I didn't tell my partner and looking back it was the right thing to do at the time. The second time I did tell my partner and it was the right thing to do in that situation. There is no right, all encompassing answer.

[Deleted User 670]

It happens all the time. A woman has a fling, gets pregnant, raises child alone. A woman gets out of a relationship, finds she's pregnant, raises child alone. All. the. time.

If the child is brought into the world, the mother does not get to choose whether or not the father gets to have a relationship with said child. She doesn't get to decide whether her reason is good enough to keep the father from the child. That's for a court and professionals to decide.

It's her life, not mine. If she did that, she'd probably have a really good reason to do so.

Would you be just as fine with her deciding to have the baby and not tell him?

[Deleted User 670]

And you don't seem to understand that I answered the question. I am fine with whatever the woman chooses. Either decision is right. Morality has nothing to do with it. It's her life. Not yours, not mine.

Again, she didn’t ask whether you care for the guy or not. She asked what’s the moral thing to do and the moral thing to do is to be mature and honest and give the other all the facts so they can make their choice over THEIR lives. I would hope even the most misandrist if women would agree on ANy person, even a man has a right to make choices over HIS life with all the facts, not based on hiding secrets and lying.

*shrug* I don't care about all that. Whatever the woman decides in this case, I'm OK with. It's her life. She knows better than anyone the repercussions and the fall out. I don't give a flying f**k about the guy, like I said, he can go get another woman pregnant.

It doesn’t matter who’s pregnant. As I said, no one is suggesting he gets to decide on that. But the prospect of parenthood affects both parties. It’s his life and this could be a changing moment for him and he may realize he wanted to be a father after all and OP may not be the woman for him anymore. He has a right to know that. For all you know he may think that a pregnancy would may make OP rethink her position. But point is, he has a right to KNOW to make HIS choice over HIS life.

Let’s not ignore the white elephant here. If OP was sure that they’re both on the same page now, she wouldn’t even consider not telling him. She would’ve sure of his support, so why hide it? If she has her doubts it’s probably because she’s unsure that he would be on board. And therefore he has a right to know to decide whether or not he wants to continue in that relationship.

[Deleted User 670]

It's her life. period. She has the right to make whatever decision is right for her. period.

Her decision is over her body. Period. And no one here has argued that. But she has no right to hide information to manipulate the choices of others. It is morally wrong to hide information from someone when that information would make them make an important life choice.
I have every right to tie my tubes and it’s my choice to make. That doesn’t mean that it’s morally right to leave my husband out of the choice because it affects him too. When you’re in a committed relationship, choices become more complicated than “it’s MY right!” Another person has things at stake too and he deserves to be informed and to have an opinion.

Neither actually. I simply believe that it's the woman's decision period. She's the one who has to live with her decision. Not me.

[Valentina327]

Her decision is over her body. Period. And no one here has argued that. But she has no right to hide information to manipulate the choices of others. It is morally wrong to hide information from someone when that information would make them make an important life choice.
I have every right to tie my tubes and it’s my choice to make. That doesn’t mean that it’s morally right to leave my husband out of the choice because it affects him too. When you’re in a committed relationship, choices become more complicated than “it’s MY right!” Another person has things at stake too and he deserves to be informed and to have an opinion.

Neither actually. I simply believe that it's the woman's decision period. She's the one who has to live with her decision. Not me.

This is a great example of why I think so many struggle with marriage. They don't understand that this is a partnership, where each of you contribute and you make decisions together. You work as a team, not in an individual silo. Especially something this huge.

[Anonymous 11]

So if he knew and decided he wanted to be a father, that would mean she gets to play incubator then decide whether to stay with him doing something she never wanted or leave him and the child and be the villain. This is one of those rare situations where it's a true double standard. They both agreed to never have children. There is also the fact that it's her body and her choice and being married does not change that. On a side note, if this post is even true, they both need to get sterilized to avoid going through this kind of thing in the future. That should have already happened.