I told my ex he couldn't take the kids on a trip after all.

[Anonymous 10]

I got engaged 3 months after my first date with my husband, but we talked about it like a months before. We’ve been married 26 years. So “too soon” is in the eye of the beholder and this is really his call, not yours. That’s my personal opinion. When you made the choice to divorce, you made the choice to forfeit part of the decision making process.

Are you ever going to answer the question of if you would really donate an organ to a wife beater?

Hello?! She already answered. Yes. Yes she would save her brother if he was an alcoholic wife beater. Are you not satisfied with her answer??

[Anonymous 7]

I was with you up until this. But with this nugget of info, I disagree with you.

They are teens with their own moral values who have been and will be put in situations with adults & others who they do not know that well. They can call you and communicate if things were to go awry. At 14, I shared a hotel room on a school trip without my parents at all, and just some strange parent chaperone. In just 3 years, one will likely be sharing a room with a complete stranger at college.

I think this level of control, keeping them away from their father at such a critical time prior to adulthood, is unhealthy.

She's stated that kids don't want to meet the gf yet. Their father isn't going to spend quality time with the kids if the new gf tags along. This is dads time to spend with the kids on vacation not meet the new gf and be stuck in an uncomfortable situation time. If he wants them to meet his gf it needs to be on a different time and day.

She obviously knows what is best for her children.

For my children — I would not entertain this, as just this summer, they did not want to go to a recent family reunion to meet extended family, as they did not want to meet or visit with them. And I knew, despite their wishes, there is value in meeting their extended family. They also sometimes prefer not to go to the park or outings with me — I make them go anyway, and have no regrets, it is beneficial.

I personally value the moments my children have with their father, and I would not let them dictate avoiding these unless their was a safety concern. And I do not think an adult women that their father has deemed as a person of value in his life, is a safety concern AT these ages.

I listen to my children, I do value their emotions, but ultimately this is the same age group infamous for “oh my gosh mom, you can’t wear that, how cringe” when you are dressed absolutely appropriately, lol. So context is important, there is nothing dangerous or sinister here.

Cool that's you. I don't allow my kids to spend the night with strangers.

[LiveWhatULove]

She's stated that kids don't want to meet the gf yet. Their father isn't going to spend quality time with the kids if the new gf tags along. This is dads time to spend with the kids on vacation not meet the new gf and be stuck in an uncomfortable situation time. If he wants them to meet his gf it needs to be on a different time and day.

She obviously knows what is best for her children.

For my children — I would not entertain this, as just this summer, they did not want to go to a recent family reunion to meet extended family, as they did not want to meet or visit with them. And I knew, despite their wishes, there is value in meeting their extended family. They also sometimes prefer not to go to the park or outings with me — I make them go anyway, and have no regrets, it is beneficial.

I personally value the moments my children have with their father, and I would not let them dictate avoiding these unless their was a safety concern. And I do not think an adult women that their father has deemed as a person of value in his life, is a safety concern AT these ages.

I listen to my children, I do value their emotions, but ultimately this is the same age group infamous for “oh my gosh mom, you can’t wear that, how cringe” when you are dressed absolutely appropriately, lol. So context is important, there is nothing dangerous or sinister here.

Cool that's you. I don't allow my kids to spend the night with strangers.

Wow, that must make experiencing many of the social norms & rites of passages for adolescents in our society challenging. But you’re the mom, so you know your kids best!

[RIZZY]

IDK, this is all a lot. They were close enough to the former girlfriend that they considered her a mother figure...but the father has no rights and the kids don't stay overnight with him? How did they even manage to get so close to her when dad doesn't have any legal or physical custody?

My husband's ex wife denied us a lot of visitation and fought with him for years over every little thing, especially me, when I had nothing to do with it. Now my step daughter lives with us and hates her mom. It sucks but it's better than having to constantly deal with a hostile ex.

[Anonymous 5]

He has done a lot that makes me not trust him and this isn't helping. It's okay for them to not be comfortable meeting someone the first time for a trip.

But that's life? They are of the age that they will constantly be meeting people, traveling with people, and even sharing a room with people that they have never met.

I have never once gone on a trip with a stranger. That is not a normal part of life.

You never went to camp, overnight school trips, sporting tournaments, band trips, church retreats, college...?

[RIZZY]

Wow, that must make experiencing many of the social norms & rites of passages for adolescents in our society challenging. But you’re the mom, so you know your kids best!

I went on a lot of trips in high school without my parents. Choir trips, Spanish club trips, junior year and senior year trips. I flew to NYC without my parents or any supervision. I flew to Scotland without my parents, alone.

[LiveWhatULove]

Wow, that must make experiencing many of the social norms & rites of passages for adolescents in our society challenging. But you’re the mom, so you know your kids best!

I went on a lot of trips in high school without my parents. Choir trips, Spanish club trips, junior year and senior year trips. I flew to NYC without my parents or any supervision. I flew to Scotland without my parents, alone.

Right?

And not even all the trips — My 14 year old just did a sleep over and I may or may not be able to pick the parent(s) out of a line-up. I certainly cannot be friends with all the parents in 4 kids’ friend groups, once they hit adolescence.

[Anonymous 7]

She obviously knows what is best for her children.

For my children — I would not entertain this, as just this summer, they did not want to go to a recent family reunion to meet extended family, as they did not want to meet or visit with them. And I knew, despite their wishes, there is value in meeting their extended family. They also sometimes prefer not to go to the park or outings with me — I make them go anyway, and have no regrets, it is beneficial.

I personally value the moments my children have with their father, and I would not let them dictate avoiding these unless their was a safety concern. And I do not think an adult women that their father has deemed as a person of value in his life, is a safety concern AT these ages.

I listen to my children, I do value their emotions, but ultimately this is the same age group infamous for “oh my gosh mom, you can’t wear that, how cringe” when you are dressed absolutely appropriately, lol. So context is important, there is nothing dangerous or sinister here.

Cool that's you. I don't allow my kids to spend the night with strangers.

Wow, that must make experiencing many of the social norms & rites of passages for adolescents in our society challenging. But you’re the mom, so you know your kids best!

Nope not really. They have everything their friends have. I just get to know the parents a little before my kids just spend the weekend away with them. The parents of their friends all did the same. It's weird how many people are just willing to allow their kids to run off with strangers in this society.

[LiveWhatULove]

Cool that's you. I don't allow my kids to spend the night with strangers.

Wow, that must make experiencing many of the social norms & rites of passages for adolescents in our society challenging. But you’re the mom, so you know your kids best!

Nope not really. They have everything their friends have. I just get to know the parents a little before my kids just spend the weekend away with them. The parents of their friends all did the same. It's weird how many people are just willing to allow their kids to run off with strangers in this society.

Do you let them go to college?

*eta, it’s also odd to me that you would know all these parents better than someone would know their gf of a month? How many visits do you have with the parents? Like a couple of years?

[Anonymous 11]

Cool that's you. I don't allow my kids to spend the night with strangers.

Wow, that must make experiencing many of the social norms & rites of passages for adolescents in our society challenging. But you’re the mom, so you know your kids best!

Nope not really. They have everything their friends have. I just get to know the parents a little before my kids just spend the weekend away with them. The parents of their friends all did the same. It's weird how many people are just willing to allow their kids to run off with strangers in this society.

I mean, she's not a complete or random stranger. It's not like you don't know or can't find out her full name, address, birthdate, etc. And your ex knows her. I probably wouldn't let them go alone with her but that was never even proposed. Plus, they aren't as vulnerable as little kids. This is all your prerogative and if you really do have full custody and dad really has shown poor judgement, I would think most people are understanding of that. But it does seem like you're harping on the "stranger" thing a little too hard. They're going to be with their father. *shrug*