She intends to fight this

[Guest]

I am going to make my DH my son's legal guardian in the event of my death. Just being married is not enough.

DH can't adopt DS because quite frankly we do not have the money to take it to court. We make too much for legal aid to help.

My Mom thinks she's going to fight it though and thinks she will win. Unfortunately the courts will contact her because when I looked into it it said that they'd contact family first to see who would want my son. I don't know if DH is considered family in the same sense as my bio family is.

DH:

-Only Father my son has ever known, DS calls him Dad

-Works a good job 40 hours a week

-Financially stable

-Can drive

-Not getting any type of welfare

-Does not hang out with druggies and has plenty of support from his family to help with DS if ever needed

-DS wants to be with him and he's old enough to have a say

-DS has the freedom here to play outdoors and visit friends

Mom:

-Pack and a half a day smoker

-Barely squeaking by on social security retirement

-Gets food stamps already

-Does not drive

-Nearly 70

-Has my brother living there who smokes pot and has his druggie friends coming over all the time, and also allows my other brother over who is a known (legally as he's been arrested for it) heroin addict.

-Would never let DS play outside. DS would be sitting inside all day every day playing video games if he lived with her because she is not willing to take him places like the zoo, etc even if she has transportation and she's too paranoid to let him play outside alone. When we were kids we were not allowed to play outside because of that. We were also not allowed to go to friends houses because of her paranoia that someone would kidnap us.

I asked her how she intended to take care of DS if she got custody of him. She said she would get death benefits from me so that would help plus the child support I get from my ex even though like I said he isn't involved, he just pays CS. I asked her how she'd get him to school since her area doesn't transport kids and it's too far to walk, and she isn't in good enough shape to walk him. She actually told me she'd call a cab to get him to and from school, and just let him ride with the cab driver without her. I told her cabs/Ubers don't allow unaccompanied minors but she said they would if she paid them enough. So in other words my child would be placed with a complete stranger and just hope they aren't a S*x trafficker or molester.

It pisses me off she even thinks she should have my son. He is better off with the only Dad he's ever known. No drugs in this house, plenty of money, the school is within walking distance but DH can take him to and from school anyways. He doesn't smoke and while he likely would file for death benefits for DS he would be OK without them. My Mom would absolutely depend on them to care for DS. Currently mine stand at about $700 a month per child.

Not to mention we have a baby coming which is our baby together and DS wants to be with his brother. My Mom would never allow DH to see my son because "That's not his real Dad" even though she knows darn well DH is his Dad just not biologically. She has ass backwards views on stepparents/blended families and even if DS wanted to see DH she wouldn't allow it. So DS would not see his brother or the only Dad he's ever known.

If you were the judge who would you pick? I think she doesn't have a chance given the circumstances and when we set up legal guardianship I intend to, if I can, make it clear that she is absolutely not a candidate and should not be considered for guardianship and why.

[Valentina327]

If you're going to do the necessary paperwork to make him a legal guardian, no one would have any need to seek out family in the event of your death, I believe. So I doubt it would even come up. She doesn't have the money to sue your husband, so it seems to me you're pretty safe.

[Smarties]

I'm assuming your son's biological father is dead or something?

[Guest]

I'm assuming your son's biological father is dead or something?

No. He just isn't interested in being a Father. He like I said pays CS but the Dad part he doesn't want. He hasn't seen my son since he was a few months old and DS is 9. For the record I did not know he felt that way until I was 7 months pregnant. He pretended he wanted our son until then and then skipped out.

[Smarties]

I'm assuming your son's biological father is dead or something?

No. He just isn't interested in being a Father. He like I said pays CS but the Dad part he doesn't want. He hasn't seen my son since he was a few months old and DS is 9. For the record I did not know he felt that way until I was 7 months pregnant. He pretended he wanted our son until then and then skipped out.

Well I'd be more concerned about him changing his mind than your mom getting custody of your son. But either way I think you're more concerned than you need to be. Between your dh and your mom, your DH would be fine.

[Mrs.ChuckBass]

are you dying?

[LuckyEightWow]

Legal guardianship will do nothing in the event of your death. Your ex will automatically become the default parent, period. If he doesn’t want the responsibility he can turn it over to your husband, but that it.

I’ve been there and done that and it was a huge fear of mine till the kids turned 18.

[Guest]

Legal guardianship will do nothing in the event of your death. Your ex will automatically become the default parent, period. If he doesn’t want the responsibility he can turn it over to your husband, but that it.

I’ve been there and done that and it was a huge fear of mine till the kids turned 18.

It probably varies by state. My sister made me the legal guardian of her kids if she ever died, we went to court and I had to testify that I was willing to step up and take them if needed. I have talked to a few lawyers who told me as long as DH is the legal guardian he will get custody.

[LuckyEightWow]

Legal guardianship will do nothing in the event of your death. Your ex will automatically become the default parent, period. If he doesn’t want the responsibility he can turn it over to your husband, but that it.

I’ve been there and done that and it was a huge fear of mine till the kids turned 18.

It probably varies by state. My sister made me the legal guardian of her kids if she ever died, we went to court and I had to testify that I was willing to step up and take them if needed. I have talked to a few lawyers who told me as long as DH is the legal guardian he will get custody.

If bio dad wants to step up, he will get custody. Your only guarantee is getting bio dad to give up his rights and adoption. At the end of the day, biology wins. Sucks for sure.

[That'swhatshesaid]

Has your son's biological father signed over his parental rights?