I feel like such a F***ing failure

[Iffrinn]

She should get out of it herself. Her bad choices aren’t society’s problem.

Yes. She put herself in the situation.

So everyone should just stay in every shitty situation that they might have gotten themselves into? That's ridiculous.
Bankruptcy laws exist for a reason. Ok should use them, not just for herself, but to give her child a better life.

Yes, and our society has provided a perfectly legal way for her to get out of it herself- by filing a perfectly legal bankruptcy.
Are you one of those people who believe that bankruptcy shouldn't even exist?

[stilltfez]

The first time someone abuses you, be it physical, mental, etc. and you stay, you’re giving them permission to do it again. You’re saying it’s okay.

Again? I’ve never spoken to you about this.

Also, I don’t especially care what an abused woman goes through. People are treated how they allow themselves to be treated.

And that is not necessarily true. Abuse has a dynamic that goes deeper than “allowing” someone to treat you poorly.

I know why you're posting anon. I suggest you educate yourself a bit so you fully grasp the many aspects of physical, mental and emotional abuse and why a person might not just do as you assume they should when living it.

[Anonymous 8]

I know the why- the person being abused isn’t strong enough.

The first time someone abuses you, be it physical, mental, etc. and you stay, you’re giving them permission to do it again. You’re saying it’s okay.

And that is not necessarily true. Abuse has a dynamic that goes deeper than “allowing” someone to treat you poorly.

I know why you're posting anon. I suggest you educate yourself a bit so you fully grasp the many aspects of physical, mental and emotional abuse and why a person might not just do as you assume they should when living it.

[Anonymous 8]

Yes, I don’t think bankruptcy should exist.

Legal and ethical aren’t synonyms.

She should get out of it herself. Her bad choices aren’t society’s problem.

So everyone should just stay in every shitty situation that they might have gotten themselves into? That's ridiculous.
Bankruptcy laws exist for a reason. Ok should use them, not just for herself, but to give her child a better life.

Yes, and our society has provided a perfectly legal way for her to get out of it herself- by filing a perfectly legal bankruptcy.
Are you one of those people who believe that bankruptcy shouldn't even exist?

[stilltfez]

I know the why- the person being abused isn’t strong enough.

The first time someone abuses you, be it physical, mental, etc. and you stay, you’re giving them permission to do it again. You’re saying it’s okay.

I know why you're posting anon. I suggest you educate yourself a bit so you fully grasp the many aspects of physical, mental and emotional abuse and why a person might not just do as you assume they should when living it.

I hope you have a wonderful week.

[Iffrinn]

Yes, I don’t think bankruptcy should exist.

Legal and ethical aren’t synonyms.

She should get out of it herself. Her bad choices aren’t society’s problem.

Yes, and our society has provided a perfectly legal way for her to get out of it herself- by filing a perfectly legal bankruptcy.
Are you one of those people who believe that bankruptcy shouldn't even exist?

Fortunately, the "society" that you are so worried about disagrees with you.

As for ethics, it is unethical to leave an innocent child in this terrible situation when there is a way to put an end to it.

[Deleted User 172]

Again? I’ve never spoken to you about this.

Also, I don’t especially care what an abused woman goes through. People are treated how they allow themselves to be treated.

A yacht would make me happy long term. Should I go buy one and then just not pay for it because my happiness is paramount to my responsibility? Because that’s exactly what you’re saying.

Apples to cheeseburgers again.
Not at all the same situation.
Come back when you have an inkling of what an abused woman goes through, then we'll talk.

Lol again as in this is the second time I've posted apples to cheeseburgers to someone who has no idea what they're talking about and making comparisons that are apples to cheeseburgers.

Its more of an "again" to myself as I can't believe how disconnected from reality you are.
Those two things aren't anything alike and anybody that would say they are are living in lala land.

You can't compare buying a vacation yacht and filing for bankruptcy to keep it without paying for it to a woman filing for bankruptcy to escape a bad marriage.
Apples to cheeseburgers.

[EarlGrayHot]

Talk to a lawyer. The first visit will probably be free but ask. If he is spending all your money then put it in an account that is just yours. LAWYER NOW.

[Bubbs]

She stays in this relationship. She continues to make the same choices day after day. She’s 60K in debt. That’s not “a bill or two.”

“People do it every day” is nothing but argumentum ad populum.

I can’t make anyone not do something, but that doesn’t mean I should condone scrupulous behavior. Nor should I encourage it, like you did.

I think staying in an abusive relationship is worse than not paying a bill or two. I don’t believe that filing bankruptcy is unscrupulous behavior as you seem to.

How does one get out of a relationship if you don’t have the financial means and are in debt? Isn’t that part of the reason why bankruptcy laws exist?

[Bubbs]

The first time someone abuses you, be it physical, mental, etc. and you stay, you’re giving them permission to do it again. You’re saying it’s okay.

Again? I’ve never spoken to you about this.

Also, I don’t especially care what an abused woman goes through. People are treated how they allow themselves to be treated.

And that is not necessarily true. Abuse has a dynamic that goes deeper than “allowing” someone to treat you poorly.

Abuse is so subtle at first, especially mental and emotional abuse. It isn’t like they come out of the gate abusing you.
But there’s no sense in explaining to someone who already has their mind made up on how it happens and what it means.