My Mom. I love her but she just can’t just say congratulations and be happy

[MonarchMom]

Why would a 49 year old male need to talk to "Mom" before he gets married?

He wasn’t asking permission, he was letting us know. I thought announcing to your family was normal?

Yes - of course that is normal. I was referring to your Mom's comment that he should talk to her first beforehand.

[Bubbs]

Why would a 49 year old male need to talk to "Mom" before he gets married?

He wasn’t asking permission, he was letting us know. I thought announcing to your family was normal?

Yes - of course that is normal. I was referring to your Mom's comment that he should talk to her first beforehand.

Oh, yes, she wants to give him info on the things she sees as problems so he has all the info. She'll never change.

[RedBottoms]

Did you tell your father how his words were hurting you? Did you give him a chance to change, knowing that people don't change overnight? Did you stop him when he started getting out of line?

Of course I told him I did not like all the terrible things he was saying. That only made him worse. Because not everyone is a good person. Some people are narcissists and want everything their way point blank period. Every boundary I put up-he got more mean and insulting to me.

I'm very sorry things have to that way between you and your father. Hopefully, in the near future you can reconnect with him. Maybe you can learn how to inspire him to be a better person.

Fat chance and no- he is dead to me. My lawyer told me that since he threatened grandparent's rights and CPS-he is no longer a safe person. You are a bit naive honey. Not all people are good people. Some people are toxic. Do you have any idea what mental trauma my autistic son would go through if CPS showed up and took him away? All because my Dad wanted to "Make me pay".

'You can never go around people that threaten or do that again because you are putting your children in danger. Every visit gives that person more ammo to use against you. It gives them a chance to poison your children against you. It gives them a chance to stash drugs or weapons in your home that they can later tell CPS to go get it and claim its yours. You cannot take chances with your children like that.

[RedBottoms]

Why would a 49 year old male need to talk to "Mom" before he gets married?

He wasn’t asking permission, he was letting us know. I thought announcing to your family was normal?

It is. And most people are wise enough to just smile and say congrats even if they don't feel it. Your mother fails at that

[CMrefugee]

That's terrible. By this time, with grown adult children (one who's 49) she should know to smile, be gracious and wish them well. And just be there when and if her son needs her. There's nothing for her to say.

My brother announced that he was marrying for the first time at 42. We were all in disbelief and shock because we never thought he'd marry (as my bro was quite the manwhore at times) and also because he'd only seen her once or twice because it was an online relationship for the most part. She lived in another country. Like your mother we also thought that he was making a mistake but kept those feelings to ourselves. He made a good choice though and my sil is great.

Anyway, congrats to you brother.

Even if it is a mistake, it's his mistake to make. She isn't like that, she is concerned. I heard about it again this morning.

True. If it's a mistake, he'll live and learn.

Ever tell your mom just to shut the hell up?

[Bubbs]

Why would a 49 year old male need to talk to "Mom" before he gets married?

He wasn’t asking permission, he was letting us know. I thought announcing to your family was normal?

It is. And most people are wise enough to just smile and say congrats even if they don't feel it. Your mother fails at that

Yes she completely does

[Bubbs]

That's terrible. By this time, with grown adult children (one who's 49) she should know to smile, be gracious and wish them well. And just be there when and if her son needs her. There's nothing for her to say.

My brother announced that he was marrying for the first time at 42. We were all in disbelief and shock because we never thought he'd marry (as my bro was quite the manwhore at times) and also because he'd only seen her once or twice because it was an online relationship for the most part. She lived in another country. Like your mother we also thought that he was making a mistake but kept those feelings to ourselves. He made a good choice though and my sil is great.

Anyway, congrats to you brother.

Even if it is a mistake, it's his mistake to make. She isn't like that, she is concerned. I heard about it again this morning.

True. If it's a mistake, he'll live and learn.

Ever tell your mom just to shut the hell up?

I have told her, not specifically like that. And I just do what I want, just like the rest of us.

[RedBottoms]

That's terrible. By this time, with grown adult children (one who's 49) she should know to smile, be gracious and wish them well. And just be there when and if her son needs her. There's nothing for her to say.

My brother announced that he was marrying for the first time at 42. We were all in disbelief and shock because we never thought he'd marry (as my bro was quite the manwhore at times) and also because he'd only seen her once or twice because it was an online relationship for the most part. She lived in another country. Like your mother we also thought that he was making a mistake but kept those feelings to ourselves. He made a good choice though and my sil is great.

Anyway, congrats to you brother.

Even if it is a mistake, it's his mistake to make. She isn't like that, she is concerned. I heard about it again this morning.

True. If it's a mistake, he'll live and learn.

Ever tell your mom just to shut the hell up?

They need to learn to start. That is the relationship I have with my mom. If she is being ridiculous-I tell her to shut up. Its not a big deal.

[Rebeccaraev2]

Call her out on her shit.

[CMrefugee]

Even if it is a mistake, it's his mistake to make. She isn't like that, she is concerned. I heard about it again this morning.

True. If it's a mistake, he'll live and learn.

Ever tell your mom just to shut the hell up?

They need to learn to start. That is the relationship I have with my mom. If she is being ridiculous-I tell her to shut up. Its not a big deal.

Yep, sometimes you have to. It's not very often that I have to say anything to my mom but when my kids were babies she would overstep her bounds. Had to finally tell her to shut up and that they were MY children.