Can I get your POV please? (Sorry it’s long, again)

[noitsmebecky]

Thanks for bringing that up. He mentioned that. He was worried I was just attracted to him because I could trust him and I’d said I was frustrated that I couldn’t have S*x.

I’ve been trying to do more things on my own. The last year of my marriage I got a full time job and saved my own money. I hid it so my ex couldn’t blow it. NA has been good for meeting new people and going out and doing things. I’ve also been doing a lot of art therapy with my therapist and it’s gotten me really interested in art museums. I never realized how many art shows and events there were around me so that’s been fun.

You're going through a lot right now and this Tony guy has been a good support. Give it time and don't do anything yet. Sometimes when we're in a vulnerable position, we may feel that we like someone, but really, we like what they have done for us, or are confused about what we want.

You need time to heal. Meet some more people, hold on the S*x and enjoy yourself in other ways. Pick up hobbies you've always wanted to try, or join a group for activity of some kind.

Then, once things are settled, if you still feel the same way - go for it.

[piratemoo]

Thanks for bringing that up. He mentioned that. He was worried I was just attracted to him because I could trust him and I’d said I was frustrated that I couldn’t have S*x.

I’ve been trying to do more things on my own. The last year of my marriage I got a full time job and saved my own money. I hid it so my ex couldn’t blow it. NA has been good for meeting new people and going out and doing things. I’ve also been doing a lot of art therapy with my therapist and it’s gotten me really interested in art museums. I never realized how many art shows and events there were around me so that’s been fun.

You're going through a lot right now and this Tony guy has been a good support. Give it time and don't do anything yet. Sometimes when we're in a vulnerable position, we may feel that we like someone, but really, we like what they have done for us, or are confused about what we want.

You need time to heal. Meet some more people, hold on the S*x and enjoy yourself in other ways. Pick up hobbies you've always wanted to try, or join a group for activity of some kind.

Then, once things are settled, if you still feel the same way - go for it.

This is excellent to hear. The fact that he brought up these concerns with you shows he is in it for the long haul. It also means he is willing to be patient and wait for a relationship, so that it will last longer and be more meaningful. Don't make advances at this point, as his concerns are solid and doing so may have the opposite desired effect.

Art is great. It has an amazing capacity to express stories, feelings, and raw emotion to others, while also providing stress and anxiety relief, for the artists themselves.

Look at everything like a giant canvas. You are just beginning to paint your story.

[noitsmebecky]

I went to this really great show where the art was done by men and women impacted by the Opioid epidemic. It was really interesting hearing them share.

Thanks for bringing that up. He mentioned that. He was worried I was just attracted to him because I could trust him and I’d said I was frustrated that I couldn’t have S*x.

I’ve been trying to do more things on my own. The last year of my marriage I got a full time job and saved my own money. I hid it so my ex couldn’t blow it. NA has been good for meeting new people and going out and doing things. I’ve also been doing a lot of art therapy with my therapist and it’s gotten me really interested in art museums. I never realized how many art shows and events there were around me so that’s been fun.

You're going through a lot right now and this Tony guy has been a good support. Give it time and don't do anything yet. Sometimes when we're in a vulnerable position, we may feel that we like someone, but really, we like what they have done for us, or are confused about what we want.

You need time to heal. Meet some more people, hold on the S*x and enjoy yourself in other ways. Pick up hobbies you've always wanted to try, or join a group for activity of some kind.

Then, once things are settled, if you still feel the same way - go for it.

This is excellent to hear. The fact that he brought up these concerns with you shows he is in it for the long haul. It also means he is willing to be patient and wait for a relationship, so that it will last longer and be more meaningful. Don't make advances at this point, as his concerns are solid and doing so may have the opposite desired effect.

Art is great. It has an amazing capacity to express stories, feelings, and raw emotion to others, while also providing stress and anxiety relief, for the artists themselves.

Look at everything like a giant canvas. You are just beginning to paint your story.

[piratemoo]

I went to this really great show where the art was done by men and women impacted by the Opioid epidemic. It was really interesting hearing them share.

Thanks for bringing that up. He mentioned that. He was worried I was just attracted to him because I could trust him and I’d said I was frustrated that I couldn’t have S*x.

I’ve been trying to do more things on my own. The last year of my marriage I got a full time job and saved my own money. I hid it so my ex couldn’t blow it. NA has been good for meeting new people and going out and doing things. I’ve also been doing a lot of art therapy with my therapist and it’s gotten me really interested in art museums. I never realized how many art shows and events there were around me so that’s been fun.

This is excellent to hear. The fact that he brought up these concerns with you shows he is in it for the long haul. It also means he is willing to be patient and wait for a relationship, so that it will last longer and be more meaningful. Don't make advances at this point, as his concerns are solid and doing so may have the opposite desired effect.

Art is great. It has an amazing capacity to express stories, feelings, and raw emotion to others, while also providing stress and anxiety relief, for the artists themselves.

Look at everything like a giant canvas. You are just beginning to paint your story.

That sounds pretty cool. My mom and my aunt are both artists, and I get all the free paintings I want because of it =)

[noitsmebecky]

That’s awesome! I have an aunt that does these really cool drip art and spray painting canvases. I’d really like to hang up some of her stuff and the stuff I’ve done in therapy but I feel weird hanging up my own stuff.

I went to this really great show where the art was done by men and women impacted by the Opioid epidemic. It was really interesting hearing them share.

This is excellent to hear. The fact that he brought up these concerns with you shows he is in it for the long haul. It also means he is willing to be patient and wait for a relationship, so that it will last longer and be more meaningful. Don't make advances at this point, as his concerns are solid and doing so may have the opposite desired effect.

Art is great. It has an amazing capacity to express stories, feelings, and raw emotion to others, while also providing stress and anxiety relief, for the artists themselves.

Look at everything like a giant canvas. You are just beginning to paint your story.

That sounds pretty cool. My mom and my aunt are both artists, and I get all the free paintings I want because of it =)

[piratemoo]

That’s awesome! I have an aunt that does these really cool drip art and spray painting canvases. I’d really like to hang up some of her stuff and the stuff I’ve done in therapy but I feel weird hanging up my own stuff.

I went to this really great show where the art was done by men and women impacted by the Opioid epidemic. It was really interesting hearing them share.

That sounds pretty cool. My mom and my aunt are both artists, and I get all the free paintings I want because of it =)

You should absolutely do it! They're great conversation pieces for sure.

[noitsmebecky]

Her stuff is really cool. Mine is uh...interesting. The process is therapeutic but the end result is...interesting. Just leave it at interesting.

That’s awesome! I have an aunt that does these really cool drip art and spray painting canvases. I’d really like to hang up some of her stuff and the stuff I’ve done in therapy but I feel weird hanging up my own stuff.

That sounds pretty cool. My mom and my aunt are both artists, and I get all the free paintings I want because of it =)

You should absolutely do it! They're great conversation pieces for sure.

[Squirrelcat]

I think the last thing someone who just got divorced needs is another relationship. I think it would be wiser to focus on yourself, your kids, and your sobriety.

Exactly this

[Inmybizz]

when I divorced I was in no rush to date again. I spent a lot of time working on myself. Getting used to being by myself/alone.I had some personal goals I wanted to accomplish. Don't rush yourself or feel like you have to be with someone to feel whole/loved.

[noitsmebecky]

Well it’s kind of the opposite. I don’t feel like I need to be with someone. I’m actually ok being alone. I went on one date when we first split up because a co-worker set me up and it was eh. He was nice enough but there was no spark and I really didn’t want to date.

I feel better on my own. It’s safer and more comfortable to me. But I couldn’t deny that I had feelings for him. And I didn’t really know what to do because my plan was to be alone.

when I divorced I was in no rush to date again. I spent a lot of time working on myself. Getting used to being by myself/alone.I had some personal goals I wanted to accomplish. Don't rush yourself or feel like you have to be with someone to feel whole/loved.