I am sitting here alone today trying to make sense of the shit in my head

[Bubbs]

I wasn't going to share on here, because everyone is so harsh. But I have been through enough shit that I can take it.
I filed for divorce last week after 2 years of a marriage. My second (and last) marriage was an unmitigated mistake. I married a narcissist who I thought because of the length of time I knew him, I really knew him But I didn't he just showed me what he knew I wanted and told me what I needed to hear. I fell fast, hard and completely unwisely. So when his true colors showed, I was so in love I didn't know what I did wrong, and I am a smart woman, who just got lost. I can write papers on personality disorders, domestic abuse, emotional abuse and everything. And when I was in it, I couldn't see what was happening.
Even now that I made him leave, My head and heart is at complete war. Because I know it is over
He cannot come back here, but I miss so many parts of him.

No one knew, no one will ever know what all went on during the short time we were together. I just know I owe it to my kids (that witness what went on is probably harmful enough and we are going to family counseling soon) to let this go and just focus on our little family.

They are 100% happier without him, my house is a calmer place more comfortable and no eggshells and I am working on getting things to some semblance of normal for them.

So tell me I am a shitty mom (nothing I haven't thought a million times) and there is something wrong with me that I took it for so long (I am working on that also) I just think if I talk about it and not hide it. I will get to understand it, maybe???

[Pjmm]

You get no judgment from me. We all do the best we can.

[Victoriousmom]

I was really surprised when you posted you were married in MC. He swindled you and he is the only one to blame. Children are resilient they will bounce back so stop being so hard on yourself.

[mojogirl]

Lol at "took it for so long."

It took me 15 years to leave my narcissist husband.

Never is too long. Anything else is just fine. It's never too late to be happy.

[Bubbs]

Lol at "took it for so long."

It took me 15 years to leave my narcissist husband.

Never is too long. Anything else is just fine. It's never too late to be happy.

Three years together was too long for my kids to witness everything they did.
My first husband was a narcissist too but he was peaceful without the temper

[Smarties]

We've been down similar roads. I still feel a lot of shame for marrying him. And for my flaws that led me to do that. I try to hide it from most people and that feels inauthentic.

I'm glad you only stayed married 2 years. Be proud for leaving and be happy.

[Bubbs]

We've been down similar roads. I still feel a lot of shame for marrying him. And for my flaws that led me to do that. I try to hide it from most people and that feels inauthentic.

I'm glad you only stayed married 2 years. Be proud for leaving and be happy.

Yes I feel so much shame that I fell for his lies and let him treat my like shit. And what is wrong with me that I let it happen?

[Nopeville]

People make mistakes. Owning up to them and moving on is the important part. You and your kids deserve to be happy. Good luck.

[noitsmebecky]

Took me 10yrs of red flags and 5yrs of people flat out telling me to leave before I finally left. For 2 if those five years I was actively planning but I still feel I could have left sooner sometimes.

So you’re not alone.

[Smarties]

We've been down similar roads. I still feel a lot of shame for marrying him. And for my flaws that led me to do that. I try to hide it from most people and that feels inauthentic.

I'm glad you only stayed married 2 years. Be proud for leaving and be happy.

Yes I feel so much shame that I fell for his lies and let him treat my like shit. And what is wrong with me that I let it happen?

I have the same feelings. But I'm not the same person anymore. And I know I still have some of those same issues but I've improved a lot and I have a lot of other strengths as well.

You do too. And from everything I've seen you write on here, you are a wonderful person and you deserve a good life. So what I've learned is that I cant get those years back and I cant change what happened, but it's my life and I'm going to live it the way I want to now. I hope you do the same.