VERY personal, anecdotal observation about divorce,

[Guest op]

particularly in the cases of husbands leaving their wives for other women.

Of the few divorces that took place either in my family/extended family, or within other families close to us, I've noticed one commonality: when the divorce was caused by a husband leaving his wife for another woman, the other woman usually looked like the sister of the original wife, and was ALWAYS the exact opposite in personality and "wife style."

My uncle left his impressive career woman wife who could juggle both home and work, for this soft spoken, almost doe-eyed girl you'd find in a 1950s magazine article as the quintessential beauty next door. Total opposite personalities.

In the next divorce, I saw the husband left his perfect housewife for a fierce career woman.

Then another career woman left for a vulnerable single mom who'd recently divorced her abusive husband; desperate for a rescuer type.

I think I was around 16 when that third divorce took place and I remember immaturely thinking to myself: men are never happy! If the woman works and is independent, he's going to feel like he's missing out on being worshipped by some beautiful Stepford wife, and the men with Stepford wives whine because he wants her to go be her own person and be responsible for her own happiness.

Now, like I already said, those two examples are just what I've happened to witness and I realize that's not always how it happens, but it still sticks with me a little.

Name a pattern you couldn't help but observe, even though you knew that shouldn't necessarily lead you to believe it always happens that way.

[Rebeccaraev2]

That was the case with my DH. I am the very opposite of his ex. She was wanting the traditional stay at home mom and wife role, and became one against her promise prior to marriage to both work and be equals in child rearing and finances. She’s quiet and submissive. I’m assertive and vocal. You may be on to something.

[Pjmm]

The only pattern I saw with my ex was he got involved with women that used him for emotional support and then moved on when they were done. But that was on him and not something I paid much attention to.

[guest]

Unless all 3 divorces happened to the same man you cant say that all men cant be happy. Even if it was the same man you shouldn't compare him to the millions of other men in the world

[Guest op]

Unless all 3 divorces happened to the same man you cant say that all men cant be happy. Even if it was the same man you shouldn't compare him to the millions of other men in the world

I cleared that part up in the post.

[Guesthusbandleaver]

Well I left my husband for another man. They are complete opposites. First husband was the scuzzy bad boy type who was fat and covered in tattoos. My now husband who I left him for is very clean cut, slim, business type.

[Guest op]

Well I left my husband for another man. They are complete opposites. First husband was the scuzzy bad boy type who was fat and covered in tattoos. My now husband who I left him for is very clean cut, slim, business type.

If you don't mind, just because I'm curious, why did you leave your first husband? Wasn't he scuzzy bad boy back when you married him? Why did you marry him if that wasn't your type?

I guess that's always been the unspoken question I've had for the husbands leaving wives for the exact opposite but never really asked directly.

[RealisticBeauty]

I am the complete opposite of my SO ex even down to our ethnicities lol. I think my SO intentionally wanted someone younger because he wants to be controlling, his ex wife beat the crap out of him and she was arrested.

[CherryTreez]

My brother left his wife because he is a selfish jerk. He went after some trashy female. She has four kids by four guys (she doesn't know who the fathers are of the last two). He felt trapped because he got married so young and wanted freedom. Funny thing is she got him to marry her. She deserved to be a wife.

My sil was so mad at us at the time. She has come to realize that we love her and want her still in our lives.

[Butt kicker]

I am the complete opposite of my SO ex even down to our ethnicities lol. I think my SO intentionally wanted someone younger because he wants to be controlling, his ex wife beat the crap out of him and she was arrested.

From your description of the jerk, I can see why she beat the shit out of him. Have you tried this approach with him? Clearly nothing else you've tried has worked so far