I'm mad she isn't coming

[RedBottoms]

Team you. Relationships are give and take and you gave by attending all her showers and now its time for her to give and show up to yours. I do not blame you. I will never forgive GMIL or at the time BIL's fiancee for skipping my baby shower knowing I would only have one ever due to infertility it was well known I was not having more kids. So when fiancee had her shower I was like "NOPE NOT COMING SINCE YOU BAILED ON MINE!"

You have every right to be hurt and honestly if you wanted to stop talking to her and hanging out with her over this-I support it. When people show you who they are-believe them. She is showing you she is A-a taker and B-you are not that important to her

[Momto2boys973]

It would hurt me as well. How selfless and what total lack of empathy. Getting mad and being pissed won’t do much. She’ll just get defensive. So, I’d be telling her exactly how her actions hurt my feelings, that I’m very sad that she doesn’t seem to care enough about me to make an effort and how disappointed I am in her. Then I’d say that I’ll be reconsidering our relationship from now on, knowing that if I cannot count on her to be there for me in good times, what hope is there for the bad times? So maybe I would be distancing myself from her and focus on relationships that are mutual.

[Traci_Momof2]

Yeah, that's pretty crappy of her to do. Do you two normally have a good relationship? If so, she should be able to give you a better reason than just "they're not my thing".

And I know this is beside the point, but who has a shower for all three of their kids? In my circle, showers are for the first kid only. Maybe my circle is old-fashioned but it just seems weird to me to have a shower for every single pregnancy.

[Momto2boys973]

I had showers for both my kids. Just because he was my second, it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be getting gifts and not just hand me downs. And it also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate him as we did his brother. Having a shower only for the oldest sort of sounds like the oldest was more important or exciting than the youngest and that’s pretty sad. It’s not just about getting stuff. With my second, many guests bought me huge Costco sized boxes of diapers and baby wipes, knowing that I pretty much had all I needed. Those were amazing, saved me tons of money.

Yeah, that's pretty crappy of her to do. Do you two normally have a good relationship? If so, she should be able to give you a better reason than just "they're not my thing".

And I know this is beside the point, but who has a shower for all three of their kids? In my circle, showers are for the first kid only. Maybe my circle is old-fashioned but it just seems weird to me to have a shower for every single pregnancy.

[bmw29]

Have the two of you been fighting?

[Guest]

I'm close with my sister and I contemplated not going to her baby shower for her fifth and last baby. She acted like she was the only woman who has given birth and how important this baby was to her since he's the last. I didn't have children at the time but I went anyway.

[LiveWhatULove]

She’s be a total ass, if this the full story.

[Valentina327]

I don't blame you. That's really crappy. I'm sorry. I'd be hurt also.

[MistressMonster]

I'm sorry. Yes she should attend yours, but I do get the thing about not liking to attend.I personally don't do bridal showers/baby showers. Not my cup of tea.

[Traci_Momof2]

Like I said, I may be old-fashioned, but I see the main point of a shower as being to shower the parents with gifts of things they will need for the baby. When the first comes the parents generally have nothing and it can be cumbersome to buy it all. Hence the shower. But for the second and so on, a lot of that stuff, especially the big ticket item stuff, can be used again and so the only things the parents need to buy are the disposable stuff or quickly worn out stuff. I really don't think babies care whether their stuff is hand me down or brand new. They don't even understand the concept.

When I was pregnant with my first, my SIL was pregnant with her second. She and our other SIL worked together to throw me a shower for that side of the family and it was held at pregnant SIL's house. She never had a shower of her own for her second. Now of course, while family attended my shower, they were also asking her about her pregnancy etc and I was completely fine with that. I'm not the type to think that it has to be all about me. But it was still the fact that even though she was pregnant, she was hosting a shower for me without getting one for herself. And that was seen as completely normal in our family. She had her time when she had her first two years earlier.

I had showers for both my kids. Just because he was my second, it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be getting gifts and not just hand me downs. And it also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate him as we did his brother. Having a shower only for the oldest sort of sounds like the oldest was more important or exciting than the youngest and that’s pretty sad. It’s not just about getting stuff. With my second, many guests bought me huge Costco sized boxes of diapers and baby wipes, knowing that I pretty much had all I needed. Those were amazing, saved me tons of money.

Yeah, that's pretty crappy of her to do. Do you two normally have a good relationship? If so, she should be able to give you a better reason than just "they're not my thing".

And I know this is beside the point, but who has a shower for all three of their kids? In my circle, showers are for the first kid only. Maybe my circle is old-fashioned but it just seems weird to me to have a shower for every single pregnancy.