Why do men get made out to be villains in an accidental pregnancy?

[Guest]

So I've been watching stories where babies were abandoned at birth and later reunited with siblings and such after on you tube. So many in the comments feel bad for the moms and say the dads should be held accountable for the babies being abandoned because they got the women pregnant. Many were born in the 80's and 90's when birth control and condoms were still around so it shouldn't have been just on the guy to make sure a pregnancy didn't happen. The same kind of comments when a mom never told the dad he was the father and he found out 20 years later. Many said that he must have given the mom a reason to not tell him. I don't get why all these men are being vilified. It takes 2 people to make a baby and barring rape which none of these stories were according to all the parties involved and it's the responsibility of those two people to see a pregnancy doesn't happen not just one.

[carterscutie85]

If Dad didn't know he should not be held accountable. Is he supposed to check up on every woman he sleeps with 9 months later and make sure she isn't pregnant? lol. And while some do have a legit reason to not tell lots don't-such as they want to pin the baby on someone else or they don't like the guy, etc.

Birth control has also come a long way since the 80's and just like they will 20 years from now, science has figured out some of the methods used back then weren't all that effective.

I may or may not have a half sister born in the 70's. My Dad dated someone before my Mom, and after they broke up he found out she was pregnant. She told him the baby wasn't his but my Dad said he ran into her a few years later and the baby looked exactly like his other kids. But what was he to do when she insisted the child wasn't his? And he didn't know where she lived, didn't have money to take it to court, plus it was the 70's where Dad's rights weren't what they are today. It's not my Dad's fault if one day it comes out she really is his.

[Momto2boys973]

They all tell a guy that if he’s not ready to deal with a kid the he should “keep it in his pants”. But if anyone dare tell a woman to “keep her legs crossed”, suddenly that’s sexist...
The double standard regarding pregnancy and parental rights is appalling.

[anon 1]

On cm many would say that a man shouldn't sleep with anyone unless he wants a baby so this seems to pretty common thinking.

[RedBottoms]

they aren't the only villain. The mother chooses to not be on BCP, IUD, depo or norplant which she should be if she is not ready for kids. Then also she should insist he use a condom. He should insist on using a condom and pulling out. He should also ask about her being on BCP, IUD, Depo or Norplant.

If the accidental pregnancy happens then the woman is CHOOSING to have the baby and keep it. The man honestly gets little say in that. So if she has it-she is taking responsibility for it knowing the Dad did not want the baby and may not be father material and may bolt all together and she is planning on raising this kid alone.

[AllofFive19]

This is why I disagree with the twit who says abortions are 100% the fault of the man.

[famousglm714]

Idk but I do know I'm 100% responsible for my own body and if I have a kid by a broke bum who doesn't want one, I'm not going to go into shock when he's not around and surprise, surprise, doesn't pay CS. I'd never do that though but you get the idea.

[Pjmm]

If my boys get a girl pregnant and she keeps it yes I expect them to step up. They can at least provide financial support. If they don't want a child they can use a condom or the male pill that is being developed when it comes out. I can count on one hand the number of men that took responsibility for birth control without me telling them what to do. That's bullshit. Now what other men do is their problem.

[Traci_Momof2]

Legally, both then and now, the woman has ultimate say in whether a pregnancy becomes a born child or not. So IMO, with that ultimate say comes the greater share of responsibility. I'm not saying men have no responsibility, but the woman chose to have the baby. If she ends up abandoning it, she is just as much responsible, if not more so, as the man.

We scream and cry for the right to choose for our own bodies. It's not right to then force the man to face 100% of the consequences for the choice we made. With the right to choose comes consequences, and it's time women owned up to them.

[Guest]

If my boys get a girl pregnant and she keeps it yes I expect them to step up. They can at least provide financial support. If they don't want a child they can use a condom or the male pill that is being developed when it comes out. I can count on one hand the number of men that took responsibility for birth control without me telling them what to do. That's bullshit. Now what other men do is their problem.

I wouldn't trust another man with the birth control but that's me. I was on birth control and I brought the condoms that they used in college when I was having one night stands. I wasn't risking a guy using an old condom and such.