UPDATE from this morning. I’ve put in several calls and emails to various people. In the meantime…

[Olioxenfree]

I never said he was in a special school. I said he was in a special needs class with a special needs teacher. Most standard schools provide education to special need children and adults. In every state in America, the educational system must be geared to handle students regardless of the scope of their abilities - as they should be. Special needs children and adults are very capable of learning and doing many things.

I’m not sure if your comment intentionally intends to insinuate education shouldn’t be available to everyone as I’m already very irritated with the situation - but it will never fail to astonish me how with so much information readily accessible, how so many lack the initiative to actually look things up. Regardless, I must confess that your comment is quite offensive. Most parents are protective of all their children; I am no exception.

Your kids have the right to an appropriate education regardless of age and ability - and so do mine.

Quite simply, if a teacher cannot teach in a special need environment, that teacher needs to move to a general education setting. After all, the majority of them had quite a bit of education to handle these issues.

I wouldn’t want to do it, and my son is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t choose the profession, but they did, am I wrong? I don’t think so.

That isn't how I read their comment. But, they worded it bluntly and I understand that it is an emotionally charged issue for you and why you were offended. I think they understand that he is in a public school and I don't think they are saying he isn't capable of education. I read it as they are saying that he should be getting a better education than what is being provided for him, so there might be a specialized school that is a better resource than what he is currently getting. Yes, the school should provide an education that matches the capacity of his abilities, legally they are required to be equipt for students of any needs.

Unfortunately that isn't how it always goes. Often in school districts with small special education programs, they don't have the staff to provide specialized learning for each one of their students complex needs and so for the students who have the most complex needs, it becomes daycare instead of a school. They're goal is to move him through instead of to help him perform to the best of his abilities. My son has a friend who has severe dyslexia. He also is in a smaller rural district outside of our city that has one special education teacher for the whole school. Ratio wise, they only need one teacher for their number of students. But because her students all have different needs, she physically isn't able to provide what they deserve. My son's friend is very intelligent and capable, but was illiterate in the fifth grade. They school was moving him through but not providing what he was capable of. So his parents worked with the school and a representative and the school paid for him to attend a private program meant for children with dyslexia after it was determined that they weren't sufficiently providing him with an education. My sister went through the same fight with the school for one of her children when the school claimed they couldn't give him what they needed, but as soon as she brought up that they would have to pay to send him to a private school, suddenly they came up with additional resources. You son deserves to learn any skill that he is capable of, so if they can't provide it, they need to provide him with a school that does. Whether the teacher is underperforming or overwhelmed and can not provide more than what she is currently giving, the school needs to figure it out.

Maybe it is emotional for me - but the comment was not at all relevant to the question I asked, was it? If you can tell I’m upset, anyone can (especially since I said it several times in my post). If there was nothing constructive or supportive to say, then there is absolutely no reason to comment at all.

I’d say the same to anyone.

I live in a small town. There are no other schools. It’s not about a lack of resources. There are 8 kids in the class, a teacher, and three teacher aides. Some of those kids pull out to a gen Ed setting the majority of the day.

Beyond that, he does deserve it - but the school MUST provide services because it is the law.

I’ve done all the finding out that I’m going to do. It is her responsibility to provide the services, and if she doesn’t, well I’ll find someone who will make sure she does.


Have a good day.

I think it was relevant, it looks like she was trying to advise that you look at alternative schools if his school won’t/can’t supply what he needs. It might have been blunt and not super supportive, but I also didn’t read it as critical or irrelevant either. She doesn’t know where you live or what services are available, she was just giving the suggestion. She does have the provide the services, but if she can’t the school needs to find another option.

[mater-three]

That isn't how I read their comment. But, they worded it bluntly and I understand that it is an emotionally charged issue for you and why you were offended. I think they understand that he is in a public school and I don't think they are saying he isn't capable of education. I read it as they are saying that he should be getting a better education than what is being provided for him, so there might be a specialized school that is a better resource than what he is currently getting. Yes, the school should provide an education that matches the capacity of his abilities, legally they are required to be equipt for students of any needs.

Unfortunately that isn't how it always goes. Often in school districts with small special education programs, they don't have the staff to provide specialized learning for each one of their students complex needs and so for the students who have the most complex needs, it becomes daycare instead of a school. They're goal is to move him through instead of to help him perform to the best of his abilities. My son has a friend who has severe dyslexia. He also is in a smaller rural district outside of our city that has one special education teacher for the whole school. Ratio wise, they only need one teacher for their number of students. But because her students all have different needs, she physically isn't able to provide what they deserve. My son's friend is very intelligent and capable, but was illiterate in the fifth grade. They school was moving him through but not providing what he was capable of. So his parents worked with the school and a representative and the school paid for him to attend a private program meant for children with dyslexia after it was determined that they weren't sufficiently providing him with an education. My sister went through the same fight with the school for one of her children when the school claimed they couldn't give him what they needed, but as soon as she brought up that they would have to pay to send him to a private school, suddenly they came up with additional resources. You son deserves to learn any skill that he is capable of, so if they can't provide it, they need to provide him with a school that does. Whether the teacher is underperforming or overwhelmed and can not provide more than what she is currently giving, the school needs to figure it out.

Maybe it is emotional for me - but the comment was not at all relevant to the question I asked, was it? If you can tell I’m upset, anyone can (especially since I said it several times in my post). If there was nothing constructive or supportive to say, then there is absolutely no reason to comment at all.

I’d say the same to anyone.

I live in a small town. There are no other schools. It’s not about a lack of resources. There are 8 kids in the class, a teacher, and three teacher aides. Some of those kids pull out to a gen Ed setting the majority of the day.

Beyond that, he does deserve it - but the school MUST provide services because it is the law.

I’ve done all the finding out that I’m going to do. It is her responsibility to provide the services, and if she doesn’t, well I’ll find someone who will make sure she does.


Have a good day.

I think it was relevant, it looks like she was trying to advise that you look at alternative schools if his school won’t/can’t supply what he needs. It might have been blunt and not super supportive, but I also didn’t read it as critical or irrelevant either. She doesn’t know where you live or what services are available, she was just giving the suggestion. She does have the provide the services, but if she can’t the school needs to find another option.

I have to admit I was a lot more annoyed the other day. The thing is up until this year I’ve had no issues with any teacher - including her. He graduates next semester as in halfway through the next year. At this point, I just want them to refer him to special growers and get his diploma.

He’s not hard to deal with here at home. If it weren’t for the fact that she was dragging her feet, I wouldn’t care if he went to school. It’s more than she won’t do anything unless he goes so many days but she keeps doing this crap.

[mater-three]

Wait - is she asking you not to bring him to school because of the rain?!If so, ... wtaf?!
I still think you should go in earlier , go to the principals's office, show the text and have them walk your son to his classroom.

Him needing frequent motor breaks and the teacher accommodating the motor breaks should not be contingent on weather.

Your responsibility is to get your son to school on time. It's their responsibility to educate your son and accommodate his needs. If the school is open, he has a right to be at school just like any other child.

I'm angry for you and your son, too!

That is exactly what she wants. I want to walk him in but, unfortunately, I must be at work at 9. The school doors don’t open until 8 - and that’s before I go through all the security stuff.

[Anonymous 1]

Are there special schools for a 20 year old man who is functionally 5 years old? I'd have thought that was sufficiently rare, that it would be outside the scope of what standard schools are suited to coping with.

I never said he was in a special school. I said he was in a special needs class with a special needs teacher. Most standard schools provide education to special need children and adults. In every state in America, the educational system must be geared to handle students regardless of the scope of their abilities - as they should be. Special needs children and adults are very capable of learning and doing many things.

I’m not sure if your comment intentionally intends to insinuate education shouldn’t be available to everyone as I’m already very irritated with the situation - but it will never fail to astonish me how with so much information readily accessible, how so many lack the initiative to actually look things up. Regardless, I must confess that your comment is quite offensive. Most parents are protective of all their children; I am no exception.

Your kids have the right to an appropriate education regardless of age and ability - and so do mine.

Quite simply, if a teacher cannot teach in a special need environment, that teacher needs to move to a general education setting. After all, the majority of them had quite a bit of education to handle these issues.

I wouldn’t want to do it, and my son is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t choose the profession, but they did, am I wrong? I don’t think so.

I realize your son is currently in the special needs class of a standard school. I also know that, in some states, there are entire schools dedicated to educating those whose special needs are so extreme or unusual that most standard schools (even in a separate special needs classroom) simply can't educate them as well as a dedicated special school (with whole teams of staff educated in particular needs and able to pool previous experiences of even the most extreme needs) can.

So I asked if, in your area, there were any "special schools for a 20 year old man who is functionally 5 years old?"

Because, if there are, then no matter how well intentioned a single special education needs teacher working in a standard school might be, I'd have thought your son's condition was sufficiently rare, that he might well be better off in a special school.

Of course, he might not. Only you have the information to decide. But I suggested the option, in case it was one that you had not already considered.

[mater-three]

Are there special schools for a 20 year old man who is functionally 5 years old? I'd have thought that was sufficiently rare, that it would be outside the scope of what standard schools are suited to coping with.

I never said he was in a special school. I said he was in a special needs class with a special needs teacher. Most standard schools provide education to special need children and adults. In every state in America, the educational system must be geared to handle students regardless of the scope of their abilities - as they should be. Special needs children and adults are very capable of learning and doing many things.

I’m not sure if your comment intentionally intends to insinuate education shouldn’t be available to everyone as I’m already very irritated with the situation - but it will never fail to astonish me how with so much information readily accessible, how so many lack the initiative to actually look things up. Regardless, I must confess that your comment is quite offensive. Most parents are protective of all their children; I am no exception.

Your kids have the right to an appropriate education regardless of age and ability - and so do mine.

Quite simply, if a teacher cannot teach in a special need environment, that teacher needs to move to a general education setting. After all, the majority of them had quite a bit of education to handle these issues.

I wouldn’t want to do it, and my son is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t choose the profession, but they did, am I wrong? I don’t think so.

I realize your son is currently in the special needs class of a standard school. I also know that, in some states, there are entire schools dedicated to educating those whose special needs are so extreme or unusual that most standard schools (even in a separate special needs classroom) simply can't educate them as well as a dedicated special school (with whole teams of staff educated in particular needs and able to pool previous experiences of even the most extreme needs) can.

So I asked if, in your area, there were any "special schools for a 20 year old man who is functionally 5 years old?"

Because, if there are, then no matter how well intentioned a single special education needs teacher working in a standard school might be, I'd have thought your son's condition was sufficiently rare, that he might well be better off in a special school.

Of course, he might not. Only you have the information to decide. But I suggested the option, in case it was one that you had not already considered.

No - it’s not an option. Matthew has level 3 autism. That’s his primary diagnosis. Since autism is not rare, there are more adults like this than most prefer to think. I can think of three without even trying. You don’t see us around simply because the general public are very judgmental about the way our kids behave so we spend our time locked up in our homes. Today is the first day that I’ve set foot in a store in over two years. My point being that people like him are not exceedingly rare at all.

With all that said, I was unfairly rude with you the other day and I was very wrong. I do apologize.