And what did you learn from that?

[Anonymous 1]

Is the worst, most soul wrenching question if you’re asked it after the worst, most soul wrenching moment that happened to you.


But maybe it’s the most important thing humanity could learn.

[MonarchMom]

When is this being asked and why?

If you have just experienced "the worst, most soul wrenching moment" of you life, I doubt you "learned" anything. You are in extreme emotional distress. You will not be thinking logically, or drawing any meaningful conclusions.

If it is asked after the event, who is asking this? It shows a total lack of empathy and would be beyond rude.

I can't imagine any circumstance where I would ask such a question. Unless you are working with a trained therapist and want to discuss this, such a question would be cruel and intrusive.

[LiveWhatULove]

I need more context with this.

[AZOldGal66]

I don't believe every soul wrenching experience we go through is meant to be a lesson to be learned.

Sometimes we just go through some rough stuff in life and are free to feel as we do about it without having gained knowledge from it.

[Anonymous 2]

Bad coping skills and dark humor.

Seriously, I have had people tell me that bad stuff happens to teach or charge the path of my life. I really want to punch them at that moment. I had a few bad years that seem unreal looking back. Nothing good came from those years. Other than I have a list of people that are not really my people. They ran because it was too hard.

[Traci_Momof2]

When is this being asked and why?

If you have just experienced "the worst, most soul wrenching moment" of you life, I doubt you "learned" anything. You are in extreme emotional distress. You will not be thinking logically, or drawing any meaningful conclusions.

If it is asked after the event, who is asking this? It shows a total lack of empathy and would be beyond rude.

I can't imagine any circumstance where I would ask such a question. Unless you are working with a trained therapist and want to discuss this, such a question would be cruel and intrusive.

When thinking of an appropriate situation for the question the example that pops into my head is:
Say a child grabbed a chair on wheels to use to stand on to reach a top cupboard. And say they ended up falling and just got a bruise on their bum. I could see saying "And what did you learn from this? Maybe that grabbing the step stool in the hall closet is a better option than the rolling chair?"
But that's not really a soul-wrenching moment. It's more of an "oops" moment which very much are teachable moments in life.

So I think the question can be appropriate in those minor oops moments of life, especially for teaching children to think through actions before carrying out actions.
But anyone who uses the question in a major soul-wrenching moment is using it at a very wrong moment and possibly needs a slap in the face for their utter lack of empathy.

[mater-three]

This is a strangely worded question.

[WellPreserved]

I would find it offensive that someone felt the need to flex their pseudo psych knowledge rather than offer comfort. No thanks.

[SisterSomeone]

Ngl, if someone asked me this WHILE I'm going through a hard time instead of being supportive, I would have learned that I don't need this attitude in my life.

[RIZZY]

After my ex husband SA'd our daughter, I confided in a friend, and she said, "Well, what did you expect?" because he had been a deadbeat dad. Well, IDK, maybe I expected him to go back to being a deadbeat but I sure as shit did not expect him to molest a kid, much less his kid.

If someone asked me what I learned from the experience, I learned that there is no such thing as justice and friends ain't shit.