Do you have a go-bag?

[LiveWhatULove]

So I was reading a AITAH post on Reddit and a hubby who is leaving his wife because he found her go-bag (a bag packed in case you need to emergently leave, usually in cases of abuse). He felt as though that this was a sign she had no trust in him.

This blows my mind — that any man would care that much? Or not understand?

I am raising my kids, especially my daughter, to have these types of preparations, especially financial independence and I have a go-bag, the only thing I am missing, is cash, but I have one account in my name only, that would be challenging for him to access.

Do you have a go-bag?

Would your husband be upset if he found your go-bag?

Do you teach your kids to have one?

[WellPreserved]

So I was reading a AITAH post on Reddit and a hubby who is leaving his wife because he found her go-bag (a bag packed in case you need to emergently leave, usually in cases of abuse). He felt as though that this was a sign she had no trust in him.

This blows my mind — that any man would care that much? Or not understand?

I am raising my kids, especially my daughter, to have these types of preparations, especially financial independence and I have a go-bag, the only thing I am missing, is cash, but I have one account in my name only, that would be challenging for him to access.

Do you have a go-bag?

Would your husband be upset if he found your go-bag?

Do you teach your kids to have one?

Yes, but for a different reason. It was standard for each person to have a "go-bag" when living overseas and I see the value here in the US. I would add to your bag, certified copies of important documents - birth certificate, marriage license, social security card, etc.

I've always had at least one account in my name only and think it's important for every adult to do so and I agree about financial independence being crucial, especially for your daughter.

[Pjmm]

I prepare a go bag during a hurricane watch or warning. And I have a flashlight in my car, some camping gear, a first aid kit and extra clothes. But that's just because I'm involved with BSA as well as kayaking, and it's easier to keep items in my car. So no I don't have a go bag at the ready at all times. I'm not against the idea it's just not something I feel I particularly need. I did have my own bank account when married which I recommend though.
Maybe it is a go bag since I have a change of clothes and other items. Idk I didn't think of it that way. I thought of it as BSA's motto of "Be Prepared" not that I was fleeing my house lol.

[Anonymous 1]

No, I do not see the need for one for myself in this relationship. Both my DH and I have our own bank accounts that our paychecks go into and we transfer a set amount into the joint account for household expenses, and another amount into a joint savings account. Our own bank accounts are our fun money accounts, and personals investments.

Now that being said with my ex if he had ever found a bag like that. There would have been hell to pay, and it would not have been pretty. If he had found out I had money stashed or my own bank account I probably would have been six feet under. That being said my passport was kept at a friends house.

[Anonymous 2]

Not in that sense. I used to have one packed because of the wildfire risk but then we moved.
But I'm not financially independent either. Oh well it works for us. It's hard to be financially independent while staying home with our kids.

[Anonymous 3]

I've always kept one. Childhood trauma.

[jas]

No. Been married for well over 30 years and never had a need for one in the sense you're talking. I see his point of view. There ARE trust issues if she feels the need to have one.

[Olioxenfree]

We have one, but it’s one that my husband and I put together in case of natural disaster, home invasion, medical emergency, any other reason we would need to leave the house quickly. I wouldn’t make one so that I have the ability to leave my husband at a moments notice and I would understand him being upset if he found out I did when he has never once shown any kind of behavior that would suggest I would need to leave him at a moments notice. And I would likely feel upset if he had a bag ready to leave me at a moments notice.

I fully understand that domestic violence is not always predictable and with warning signs and that others can have life experiences that can cause anxiety about having the ability to leave even if they are in a currently healthy relationship, but I can also understand the spouse feeling hurt if this wasn’t something previously discussed and trusted to them. If she said ahead of time “because of a,b,c I feel anxiety when I don’t have control of leaving, it isn’t anything that you did and I am not at all planning on leaving, I don’t believe you would ever hurt me, but I feel more at peace when I have control of the option.” And talked about it.

[Slimshandy]

So… lol


Yes I do, but DH helps pack it and everything…


He’s a prepper, so everyone in the house has one.

[Anonymous 4]

So I was reading a AITAH post on Reddit and a hubby who is leaving his wife because he found her go-bag (a bag packed in case you need to emergently leave, usually in cases of abuse). He felt as though that this was a sign she had no trust in him.

This blows my mind — that any man would care that much? Or not understand?

I am raising my kids, especially my daughter, to have these types of preparations, especially financial independence and I have a go-bag, the only thing I am missing, is cash, but I have one account in my name only, that would be challenging for him to access.

Do you have a go-bag?

Would your husband be upset if he found your go-bag?

Do you teach your kids to have one?

Do your kids know about your to-go bag? Does your husband?

Nothing wrong with having it and every family member should but every family member should also know about the others. I think having it is okay. Keeping it secret would be an issue in a marriage.