If someone said to you

[cgd5112]

It’s plainly clear they chose her over you. Sometimes making a stand for yourself and choosing yourself can be a very lonely place to be initially. However, cutting off the people who in their actions support your abuser, can give you the space to heal. You need that time for yourself; even if it hurts to be alone. You’ll be better for it.

((Supportive hug to you))

[mater-three]

Trauma should never be minimized - ever. If someone isn’t telling you that they believe and support you, they’re not significant. I won’t associate with people like that.

[Traci_Momof2]

To my mind them saying "that's just how she is" is the bigger red flag. That's basically them acknowledging that she's done wrong things but refusing to hold her accountable. It's a really crappy excuse saying "that's just how they are". I wouldn't want to be around someone who dismisses wrong behavior that way.

[Heyteacher]

No, I believe they are staying neutral in the absence of definitive proof of guilt or innocence.

[Murdoc's Mistress]

Families are the biggest cover uppers of physical and sexual abuse.

I am sorry you're going through that and it's a shame you are not believed while they coddle the abuser. Severing any and all contact with that group is the best option.

[LuckyEightWow]

Everyone has a different level of tolerance and accountability when it comes to some family members so based on some of your replies I am hearing that they do understand where your coming from, they aren’t saying you are lying, they just see it differently or don’t have all the facts about everything so they aren’t going to just jump to your side of things.

I can believe someone is telling their truth, but I never believe everything works for word without some proof.

[Vegaswife2011]

They don’t believe what you are saying. Big hugs to you. I am so sorry.

[KendallsMom]

Your personal truth is just that, regardless of how they respond.

Do what you have to do for healing. If that involves removing the " indifferent " people from your life as well, so be it.

Don't continue to be a victim.

Best wishes.

[Anonymous 5]

They likely don't know what to believe. I'm kind of in the same place with someone I know.

[Anonymous 1]

They likely don't know what to believe. I'm kind of in the same place with someone I know.

It seems to me that if I had witnessed abuse as the had, and then the victim said the abuser hurt them more, I'd believe them because I know the abuser already hurt them.