Would you go?

[Anonymous 1]

Some of your family members stopped inviting you and your family to their kids' birthday parties several years ago. You never see them for any holidays. You don't really speak at all except for a generic "Merry Christmas" text and things like that. Now their dad died. We were not close to their dad but have been around him on and off over the years. They are texting me about the funeral. Would you go to the funeral?

[carterscutie85]

I'd think they were only texting me in case I wanted to go, not because they cared either way. I don't personally do funerals so no I wouldn't go.

[Anonymous 1]

I don't want to do funerals anymore either. How do you not go? What if it is someone you are close to? Do you go? The older I get, the older other people get and their parents too. I see it in the future that my friends' parents will be passing away and I really don't want to go but I know it would be appreciated by my friends if I do.

I'd think they were only texting me in case I wanted to go, not because they cared either way. I don't personally do funerals so no I wouldn't go.

[EarlGrayHot]

Funerals are mostly held in order to comfort those left behind. Do you want to comfort those people or not?

[Olioxenfree]

Yes, I would go as long as I am able to. I would support them for their loss no matter how many birthday parties I’ve been invited to. How are you related to them?

[LiveWhatULove]

I would probably just send something to the memorial fund or if they did not have one of those, I’d send flowers.

[MonarchMom]

I generally go to some part of the funeral if it is a reasonable distance to travel and I care about the remaining family. Typically I go to the viewing, stop in early to see the family and pay my respects, then leave. I don't need to make it a social occasion or take part in any service or religious tradition.

[carterscutie85]

I don't want to do funerals anymore either. How do you not go? What if it is someone you are close to? Do you go? The older I get, the older other people get and their parents too. I see it in the future that my friends' parents will be passing away and I really don't want to go but I know it would be appreciated by my friends if I do.

I'd think they were only texting me in case I wanted to go, not because they cared either way. I don't personally do funerals so no I wouldn't go.

One of the last times I ever saw my Dad he was in a hospital bed. He looked so frail and tiny. That image is burned into my head. If he had had a funeral, the last thing I want is for the image of him in a casket to be in my head. So therefore I wouldn't go to any funerals because I don't want that image for anyone. Thankfully everyone I know wants to be cremated.

[SisterSomeone]

I'd assume that they're texting me out of the same courtesy they extend to any acquaintances of the deceased and not because they give any sort of a f**k if I show up or not, and act accordingly. I.e. it doesn't matter whether I would go because the question is do you feel any need to go for yourself?

[AZOldGal66]

Myself and given the relationship dynamics you've described, I'd send a condolence card, but not see the need to go.