What do you think of this?

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highlandmum
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Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 3:44 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 1:36 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:21 pm

If the kids are touching food when doing the dishes then people aren't scraping their food into the appropriate locations that have been laid forth and you are all indeed disgusting and lazy. Teach everyone to wash their own dishes from now on. Then no one can complain and everyone shares responsibility when they don't get done...you can also pinpoint who isn't properly scraping their plates.
Oh my god, you are so F***ing stupid, incorrigible, and insufferable. There aren't heaps of leftover food on the plate and the plate gets scraped INTO THE SINK, NOT THE TRASH. You are as dramatic as a 15 year old. Everyone does the dishes, no one is lacking or dirty in my house. Our house is cleaner than your F***ing rancid personality. Go spew your venom somewhere else.
So you're scraping food into the sink and then washing dishes in the same sink.....thus the water is contaminated with food particles before soap is even added. You need to better the way you do dishes in your house because the system you have now is clearly nasty.
I am as confused as you are. I am trying to think how food ends up in the water. We DO NOT put organic matter in the trash in my city, as trash is only picked up every other week. So we use a green bin for organics which is picked up every week. Now that being said you may get the odd piece of lettuce, tomato or corn and of course sauce but most of the food is scraped off and put into a green bin. Never have I had food in the water.

OP - if you have a compactor - could you not scrape the food either prior to washing and then run water so the food goes down, or scape it into a container before washing the dishes then put the food in the water and let it do what it does. Forgive me if this is completely wrong as garbage disposals are banned here and I have never even seen one in my life.
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Baconqueen13
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highlandmum wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 3:58 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 3:44 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 1:36 pm

Oh my god, you are so F***ing stupid, incorrigible, and insufferable. There aren't heaps of leftover food on the plate and the plate gets scraped INTO THE SINK, NOT THE TRASH. You are as dramatic as a 15 year old. Everyone does the dishes, no one is lacking or dirty in my house. Our house is cleaner than your F***ing rancid personality. Go spew your venom somewhere else.
So you're scraping food into the sink and then washing dishes in the same sink.....thus the water is contaminated with food particles before soap is even added. You need to better the way you do dishes in your house because the system you have now is clearly nasty.
I am as confused as you are. I am trying to think how food ends up in the water. We DO NOT put organic matter in the trash in my city, as trash is only picked up every other week. So we use a green bin for organics which is picked up every week. Now that being said you may get the odd piece of lettuce, tomato or corn and of course sauce but most of the food is scraped off and put into a green bin. Never have I had food in the water.

OP - if you have a compactor - could you not scrape the food either prior to washing and then run water so the food goes down, or scape it into a container before washing the dishes then put the food in the water and let it do what it does. Forgive me if this is completely wrong as garbage disposals are banned here and I have never even seen one in my life.
Right!!! I mean I suppose the OP could have a double sink in which case it should be a matter of scraping plates into the compost or sink side with disposal and gently stacking dishes in the other sink, but even then one should give a quick rinse of the dishes before stacking them in the Non-disposal side (to aid in not only removing food particles but also aids the disposal)...which would mean little to no food particles when washing. If dishes are piling up to where you can't see the disposal then they aren't being washed often enough. In either case washing dishes in dirty water contaminated with food particles so large you can hear them sloshing about is disgusting.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:18 pm
Olioxenfree wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:55 am I would tell her that I hear her and I’m not brushing it off as being dramatic and not wanting to do it, but it is something she will have to do in life and everyone has chores they don’t like, so instead of saying she doesn’t have to do it anymore we will work on strategies to help her get through it so she will have those tools as an adult.

She will still have to wash dishes as an adult and even if it isn’t as many, she will still have to find ways to cope with the rest of it. And there is no guarantee that she will just never have to deal with larger amounts of dishes, if she has roommates, ever has a family, has friends over, etc. she will in life have to do things that are overwhelming.

I used to wash dishes at a restaurant when I was a teenager and a lot of the time the red bumps come from the soap sitting on your skin. I would get her dish gloves and teach her to make sure the soap is properly rinsed off her skin afterward. If it’s still a problem and it does seem to be from contact dermatitis, I would try a few hypoallergenic soaps and find one that helps. The gloves will both help both her soap reaction and she won’t have to touch wet food.

We have waterproof aprons that we wear when doing the dishes, to keep our clothes dry. I’d get her one. When I was pregnant the scent of wet food made me gag, so I got a little fan and would clip a cotton ball dipped in essential oils to it and blow it toward my face while washing dishes, it helped a ton. For the sound, I would have her try wearing headphones with music to block it out. For the overwhelming amount, we would work on stress techniques, likes breaking it down into smaller goals. First just focus on plates, then silverware, then cups, try some breathing techniques, etc. My daughter gets very overwhelmed with large tasks so we have taught her to think of them as smaller steps, start small and work your way through.

I would talk to the whole family about making a conscious effort to properly scrape off their dishes before putting them in the sink, and I would enforce it. I would have a conversation with her and stress that I do take what she says seriously, she is not being ignored, and we will do everything we can to help the task seem more comfortable to her. I would stress the reasons why it’s important that she works through this and why I’m not just letting her not do it anymore. It will take a lot of work, but it is important that we help her through this so she will have this skill and can also use these tactics for other overwhelming tasks in life.
Especially in that last paragraph, you perfectly captured what I wanted to say. I want to be empathetic but not doing dishes isn't an option. I'm going to use your words. Thank you.
One of my nephews has a lot of things that he is working through and his therapists and doctors have all said that the worst thing to do is to just let him give up. Be realistic and take baby steps to work up to a goal, yes, but don’t tell him he just doesn’t have to do something because it’s harder for him than it is for most.
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We all have chores we despise. That's why some of us in my home do them and others will pick another chores to do. It's really not a big deal.
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She needs to suck it up. If she allergic to dish soap then get gloves. Why is she getting wet doing dishes? Maybe try an apron. Before she starts washing if she would take a sec to organize it all she would see what still needs scrapped off into the trash and can do so.

My oldest is very very OCD and all these things bother her as well and these are the things we have used to help her.
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Listen to her and try to work through it with empathy. Frankly, it sounds as if she doesn't know how to do dishes if she's dealing with wet food and sloshing water! Walk through the appropriate steps to wash dishes and make sure that the rest of the family is not leaving a mess for her (or anyone else washing dishes). There shouldn't be floating, wet food in the sink, water with food and soap in it shouldn't slosh, she shouldn't be getting her shirt wet every time, and she shouldn't be touching wet food. If she is, then she's doing it wrong.

Dish washing is a life skill and it's important for her to learn even if she has sensory issues but learning is a process that should be undertaken with some patience and understanding.
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Very creative writer who didn't just throw a fit about doing this particular chore.

She could learn to scrape off any residual food before doing the dishes but she deserves to be heard. Household chore lists and rules CAN be altered.

Cut her some slack.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:00 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 10:49 am I think you should let her do other chores besides dishes. I believe what she is saying. I have a teenage DD that has always been extremely sensitive to smells and other sensory issues. She gags extremely easily. Please take your child seriously.
She does, she rotates just like everyone else. I asked the other kids how they felt and they agreed that doing the dishes is the worst, that the wet food is disgusting and makes them gag. And I agree, I feel the same way about it. It can make me gag, especially with leftover food. It also hurts my back VERY bad. But we all take our turns, too. I guess I just don't understand how it's different for her than everyone else? Doing dishes is nasty and disgusting and a fact of life...
It sounds like it would help everyone in your house if you all scraped your plates better, and maybe even wipe them off with a paper towel before you put them in the sink. There's no reason for there to be so much food that it's sloshing around and making everyone gag.
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Sounds like my 16 year old DD.

Wet, dirty dishes make her gag. She'd rather clean toilets.

She's been this way for as long as I can remember. She's determined to be successful in life, mainly so she can afford a maid to clean dishes.

I'd take dishes out of the chore rotation for her and do them myself if necessary.

It's not that big of a deal.
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Sounds like sensory issues. Give her different chores. As long as she knows how there’s no harm in letting her skip dishes especially if she’s doing other jobs in the house
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