What do you think of this?

User avatar
Baconqueen13
Princess Royal
Princess Royal
Posts: 6811
Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 12:10 am
Location: In Sanity

Unread post

It sounds like your family is disgusting if none of you can manage to properly scrape your plates clear over the bin and the person washing is constantly touching wet food. Also sounds like if there is a huge pile of dishes you need to buy a dishwasher....if you have a dishwasher than EVERYONE should be making the effort to scrape their own plates, rinse them, and put them into the dishwasher themselves so that dishes is less of a task and the only hand washing is for things that don't go into the dishwasher such as pots and pans and kitchen knives. In short, take your kid seriously and sit down and work out a system to make washing dishes more manageable....for EVERYONE...and for goodness sakes if your kid is allergic to the soap (or even sensitive to it) you need to buy some gloves for her (shit buy dish gloves for everyone, let them choose) AND look into a different dish soap that won't irritate the skin..

You could also implement a rule where everyone washes their OWN dishes that they use (cups/plates/ bowls/silverware) and the person whose chore is to "wash dishes" is only washing the dishes used for prepping and cooking the meal. Then again the cook should also be washing dishes they use in prep as they go. This would severely cut down on the number of dishes that pile up and make the chore more manageable and also teach personal responsibility so you don't have one kid with 15 cups they used and left all over the kitchen/house
Anonymous 1

Unread post

Anonymous 3 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:50 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:28 am
Anonymous 3 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:26 am People who have cameras in their house are weird as hell. This spying on people in their homes, tracking cell phone locations is ridiculous. Outdoor cameras watching people walk their dogs and other crap. Let people be.
We got them after a home invasion. I'll keep my cameras and you can take your own advice. Answer the OP or kindly f**k off and let people be.
How will having a camera help with a home invasion? Get a German Shepherd. That will protect you more in an instant.

I really don't feel like having an argument today with someone who is intent on misunderstanding me...

From the mouths of criminals themselves, as well as statistical data, cameras are a deterrent and they are more of a deterrent than dogs or signs saying the homeowners are armed. We also have guns and dogs. I will do whatever I want to feel safe in my home after a trauma and I really don't have the patience for someone who is going to criticize me over something they aren't dealing with.
Anonymous 1

Unread post

Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:05 pm It sounds like your family is disgusting if none of you can manage to properly scrape your plates clear over the bin and the person washing is constantly touching wet food. Also sounds like if there is a huge pile of dishes you need to buy a dishwasher....if you have a dishwasher than EVERYONE should be making the effort to scrape their own plates, rinse them, and put them into the dishwasher themselves so that dishes is less of a task and the only hand washing is for things that don't go into the dishwasher such as pots and pans and kitchen knives. In short, take your kid seriously and sit down and work out a system to make washing dishes more manageable....for EVERYONE...and for goodness sakes if your kid is allergic to the soap (or even sensitive to it) you need to buy some gloves for her (shit buy dish gloves for everyone, let them choose) AND look into a different dish soap that won't irritate the skin..

You could also implement a rule where everyone washes their OWN dishes that they use (cups/plates/ bowls/silverware) and the person whose chore is to "wash dishes" is only washing the dishes used for prepping and cooking the meal. Then again the cook should also be washing dishes they use in prep as they go. This would severely cut down on the number of dishes that pile up and make the chore more manageable and also teach personal responsibility so you don't have one kid with 15 cups they used and left all over the kitchen/house
Technically, we aren't even supposed to scrape into the bin. All organic matter is supposed to be composted or scraped into the garbage disposal. We aren't a dirty or disgusting family.

To me, there weren't even that many dishes. We were out of town Monday and didn't eat lunch at home on Tuesday. Most of the dishes in the sink last night were from when the kids made dessert.

We have dish gloves.
Anonymous 1

Unread post

Olioxenfree wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:55 am I would tell her that I hear her and I’m not brushing it off as being dramatic and not wanting to do it, but it is something she will have to do in life and everyone has chores they don’t like, so instead of saying she doesn’t have to do it anymore we will work on strategies to help her get through it so she will have those tools as an adult.

She will still have to wash dishes as an adult and even if it isn’t as many, she will still have to find ways to cope with the rest of it. And there is no guarantee that she will just never have to deal with larger amounts of dishes, if she has roommates, ever has a family, has friends over, etc. she will in life have to do things that are overwhelming.

I used to wash dishes at a restaurant when I was a teenager and a lot of the time the red bumps come from the soap sitting on your skin. I would get her dish gloves and teach her to make sure the soap is properly rinsed off her skin afterward. If it’s still a problem and it does seem to be from contact dermatitis, I would try a few hypoallergenic soaps and find one that helps. The gloves will both help both her soap reaction and she won’t have to touch wet food.

We have waterproof aprons that we wear when doing the dishes, to keep our clothes dry. I’d get her one. When I was pregnant the scent of wet food made me gag, so I got a little fan and would clip a cotton ball dipped in essential oils to it and blow it toward my face while washing dishes, it helped a ton. For the sound, I would have her try wearing headphones with music to block it out. For the overwhelming amount, we would work on stress techniques, likes breaking it down into smaller goals. First just focus on plates, then silverware, then cups, try some breathing techniques, etc. My daughter gets very overwhelmed with large tasks so we have taught her to think of them as smaller steps, start small and work your way through.

I would talk to the whole family about making a conscious effort to properly scrape off their dishes before putting them in the sink, and I would enforce it. I would have a conversation with her and stress that I do take what she says seriously, she is not being ignored, and we will do everything we can to help the task seem more comfortable to her. I would stress the reasons why it’s important that she works through this and why I’m not just letting her not do it anymore. It will take a lot of work, but it is important that we help her through this so she will have this skill and can also use these tactics for other overwhelming tasks in life.
Especially in that last paragraph, you perfectly captured what I wanted to say. I want to be empathetic but not doing dishes isn't an option. I'm going to use your words. Thank you.
User avatar
Baconqueen13
Princess Royal
Princess Royal
Posts: 6811
Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 12:10 am
Location: In Sanity

Unread post

Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:16 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:05 pm It sounds like your family is disgusting if none of you can manage to properly scrape your plates clear over the bin and the person washing is constantly touching wet food. Also sounds like if there is a huge pile of dishes you need to buy a dishwasher....if you have a dishwasher than EVERYONE should be making the effort to scrape their own plates, rinse them, and put them into the dishwasher themselves so that dishes is less of a task and the only hand washing is for things that don't go into the dishwasher such as pots and pans and kitchen knives. In short, take your kid seriously and sit down and work out a system to make washing dishes more manageable....for EVERYONE...and for goodness sakes if your kid is allergic to the soap (or even sensitive to it) you need to buy some gloves for her (shit buy dish gloves for everyone, let them choose) AND look into a different dish soap that won't irritate the skin..

You could also implement a rule where everyone washes their OWN dishes that they use (cups/plates/ bowls/silverware) and the person whose chore is to "wash dishes" is only washing the dishes used for prepping and cooking the meal. Then again the cook should also be washing dishes they use in prep as they go. This would severely cut down on the number of dishes that pile up and make the chore more manageable and also teach personal responsibility so you don't have one kid with 15 cups they used and left all over the kitchen/house
Technically, we aren't even supposed to scrape into the bin. All organic matter is supposed to be composted or scraped into the garbage disposal. We aren't a dirty or disgusting family.

To me, there weren't even that many dishes. We were out of town Monday and didn't eat lunch at home on Tuesday. Most of the dishes in the sink last night were from when the kids made dessert.

We have dish gloves.
If the kids are touching food when doing the dishes then people aren't scraping their food into the appropriate locations that have been laid forth and you are all indeed disgusting and lazy. Teach everyone to wash their own dishes from now on. Then no one can complain and everyone shares responsibility when they don't get done...you can also pinpoint who isn't properly scraping their plates.
Anonymous 1

Unread post

Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:21 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:16 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:05 pm It sounds like your family is disgusting if none of you can manage to properly scrape your plates clear over the bin and the person washing is constantly touching wet food. Also sounds like if there is a huge pile of dishes you need to buy a dishwasher....if you have a dishwasher than EVERYONE should be making the effort to scrape their own plates, rinse them, and put them into the dishwasher themselves so that dishes is less of a task and the only hand washing is for things that don't go into the dishwasher such as pots and pans and kitchen knives. In short, take your kid seriously and sit down and work out a system to make washing dishes more manageable....for EVERYONE...and for goodness sakes if your kid is allergic to the soap (or even sensitive to it) you need to buy some gloves for her (shit buy dish gloves for everyone, let them choose) AND look into a different dish soap that won't irritate the skin..

You could also implement a rule where everyone washes their OWN dishes that they use (cups/plates/ bowls/silverware) and the person whose chore is to "wash dishes" is only washing the dishes used for prepping and cooking the meal. Then again the cook should also be washing dishes they use in prep as they go. This would severely cut down on the number of dishes that pile up and make the chore more manageable and also teach personal responsibility so you don't have one kid with 15 cups they used and left all over the kitchen/house
Technically, we aren't even supposed to scrape into the bin. All organic matter is supposed to be composted or scraped into the garbage disposal. We aren't a dirty or disgusting family.

To me, there weren't even that many dishes. We were out of town Monday and didn't eat lunch at home on Tuesday. Most of the dishes in the sink last night were from when the kids made dessert.

We have dish gloves.
If the kids are touching food when doing the dishes then people aren't scraping their food into the appropriate locations that have been laid forth and you are all indeed disgusting and lazy. Teach everyone to wash their own dishes from now on. Then no one can complain and everyone shares responsibility when they don't get done...you can also pinpoint who isn't properly scraping their plates.
Oh my god, you are so F***ing stupid, incorrigible, and insufferable. There aren't heaps of leftover food on the plate and the plate gets scraped INTO THE SINK, NOT THE TRASH. You are as dramatic as a 15 year old. Everyone does the dishes, no one is lacking or dirty in my house. Our house is cleaner than your F***ing rancid personality. Go spew your venom somewhere else.
Anonymous 4

Unread post

It sounds as if everyone in your family, including you, hates dish duty but it also sounds is if you all don't scrape and rinse your own plates or clean as you go when cooking. I would come up with a way that washing dishes is more of a shared responsibility with each person responsible for scraping their own plate. Wet food makes me gag too but their's no reason to have wet food when washing dishes.
Anonymous 5

Unread post

Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:21 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:16 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:05 pm It sounds like your family is disgusting if none of you can manage to properly scrape your plates clear over the bin and the person washing is constantly touching wet food. Also sounds like if there is a huge pile of dishes you need to buy a dishwasher....if you have a dishwasher than EVERYONE should be making the effort to scrape their own plates, rinse them, and put them into the dishwasher themselves so that dishes is less of a task and the only hand washing is for things that don't go into the dishwasher such as pots and pans and kitchen knives. In short, take your kid seriously and sit down and work out a system to make washing dishes more manageable....for EVERYONE...and for goodness sakes if your kid is allergic to the soap (or even sensitive to it) you need to buy some gloves for her (shit buy dish gloves for everyone, let them choose) AND look into a different dish soap that won't irritate the skin..

You could also implement a rule where everyone washes their OWN dishes that they use (cups/plates/ bowls/silverware) and the person whose chore is to "wash dishes" is only washing the dishes used for prepping and cooking the meal. Then again the cook should also be washing dishes they use in prep as they go. This would severely cut down on the number of dishes that pile up and make the chore more manageable and also teach personal responsibility so you don't have one kid with 15 cups they used and left all over the kitchen/house
Technically, we aren't even supposed to scrape into the bin. All organic matter is supposed to be composted or scraped into the garbage disposal. We aren't a dirty or disgusting family.

To me, there weren't even that many dishes. We were out of town Monday and didn't eat lunch at home on Tuesday. Most of the dishes in the sink last night were from when the kids made dessert.

We have dish gloves.
If the kids are touching food when doing the dishes then people aren't scraping their food into the appropriate locations that have been laid forth and you are all indeed disgusting and lazy. Teach everyone to wash their own dishes from now on. Then no one can complain and everyone shares responsibility when they don't get done...you can also pinpoint who isn't properly scraping their plates.
This is some of the dumbest shit I've ever read. Everyone handles dishes differently. Just because they don't do it the way you feel they have to doesn't mean they're disgusting and lazy.
Traci_Momof2
Princess
Princess
Posts: 11091
Joined: Tue May 22, 2018 12:32 am
Location: Southwest USA

Unread post

Honestly I would take them off of dish duty and double them up on something else that they offered up. You can take their dish duty and give them your mopping or whatever else they offered to take. It really shouldn't be that big a deal.

Because here's the thing. Yes, every able bodied person in a household should share in the chores. That does not mean that every person needs to share every single chore equally. Dishes obviously disturb your 15yo very much, so much so that they wrote out this lengthy text. And you know what? They didn't ask to be part of a family of 5. They didn't ask to do dishes for 5 people. That was YOU and your DH who made that choice so the two of you can choose to do the dirty work. Let your 15yo figure out dishes when they move out on their own and only have their own to worry about.

Is it really so horrible for you and your DH to pick up the slack on the dishes and give your 15yo something else to do instead? If your answer to that question is "yes" then I would say your 15yo has more maturity than you do. Grow up and listen to your kids.
User avatar
Baconqueen13
Princess Royal
Princess Royal
Posts: 6811
Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 12:10 am
Location: In Sanity

Unread post

Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 1:36 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:21 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:16 pm

Technically, we aren't even supposed to scrape into the bin. All organic matter is supposed to be composted or scraped into the garbage disposal. We aren't a dirty or disgusting family.

To me, there weren't even that many dishes. We were out of town Monday and didn't eat lunch at home on Tuesday. Most of the dishes in the sink last night were from when the kids made dessert.

We have dish gloves.
If the kids are touching food when doing the dishes then people aren't scraping their food into the appropriate locations that have been laid forth and you are all indeed disgusting and lazy. Teach everyone to wash their own dishes from now on. Then no one can complain and everyone shares responsibility when they don't get done...you can also pinpoint who isn't properly scraping their plates.
Oh my god, you are so F***ing stupid, incorrigible, and insufferable. There aren't heaps of leftover food on the plate and the plate gets scraped INTO THE SINK, NOT THE TRASH. You are as dramatic as a 15 year old. Everyone does the dishes, no one is lacking or dirty in my house. Our house is cleaner than your F***ing rancid personality. Go spew your venom somewhere else.
So you're scraping food into the sink and then washing dishes in the same sink.....thus the water is contaminated with food particles before soap is even added. You need to better the way you do dishes in your house because the system you have now is clearly nasty.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic