Allowing a trans friend to spend the night with my teenager....

Anonymous 1

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My daughter is 17, she has a friend who is always at my house.

I like this friend.... They are kind, respectful and just a good person.

This friend is always spending the night. I never thought much of it as I let friends spend the night all the time.

My family freaked the hell out the other day, when they stopped by in the morning to turn on the swamp cooler. Saying this friend shouldn't be sleeping over let alone in the same bed as my daughter.

The issue? This friend is Trans.

I have always known this, I don't have an issue with him staying over. His parents let my daughter stay over, and sleep in the same room too.

As a parent would you allow this? I will continue to allow it, But I have had a few people including my family say it's inappropriate.
Anonymous 2

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Swamp cooler is all I got from this lol.
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Baconqueen13
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The only issue I see a problem with is sleeping in the same bed in the bedroom.....Sleepovers are always in the common rooms of the house such as living room or den in my house (usually the den as there are 2 futons). It's just easier that way. Easier to keep an eye on the kids, easier to tell them when they need to quiet down, easier to clean up in the morning, easier to make sure nothing gets left behind...just easier in general.
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Vegaswife2011
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What is a swamp cooler?!
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Gorilla_Mama
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Sleeping in the same bed would be a no go for me. I agree with bacon that sleepovers stay in the living room so their easier to keep an eye on.

I’m curious bc you refer to the friend as he. Are they ftm or mtf?
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What is their objection about exactly? That the friend is male and they could be having S*x? Or that the friend is transgender? Or that two teenagers of any S*x or gender are sleeping in the same bed?

Personally, I don't have any problem with it. My kids have had friends of both genders and sexes sleep over. As long as I'm sure there isn't any sexual or romantic things going on I'm good. My kids are very open with me, though, and keep close, small groups of friends.
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RIZZY
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I had never thought about putting the kids in the living room because I always had a two story with all bedrooms upstairs, until now. I do think that if you try to make that change now, though, you're going to get some push back and the friend might end up feeling targeted. I'm sure there are ways to overcome that, just gotta be creative. You'd have to make the living room more appealing than the bedroom.
Anonymous 1

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Vegaswife2011 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 10:15 am What is a swamp cooler?!

An evaporative cooler... Like an air conditioner but it circulates air over water saturated pads to cool things down... Works in dry heat
Anonymous 3

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Your kid is 17?
Just make sure they have access to birth control.
Nothing you do is going to stop them from having S*x if they want to, it’s pointless to think sleeping arrangements will change anything on that end.
Anonymous 1

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PoplarGrove wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 10:23 am What is their objection about exactly? That the friend is male and they could be having S*x? Or that the friend is transgender? Or that two teenagers of any S*x or gender are sleeping in the same bed?

Personally, I don't have any problem with it. My kids have had friends of both genders and sexes sleep over. As long as I'm sure there isn't any sexual or romantic things going on I'm good. My kids are very open with me, though, and keep close, small groups of friends.
The fact that the friend is male.

They know the rules, no locking the door to the room (it can be closed) and no S*x.... witch I know they don't see each other that way.
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