Allowing a trans friend to spend the night with my teenager....

CherryTreez
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We don't do sleepovers. So it wouldn't be a problem because no one sleeps over.
Traci_Momof2
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Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:03 pm
PoplarGrove wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:58 am
Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:23 am No I would not. At the end of the day he is a boy, with teenage hormones, a penis, and has access to a girl in a bed all night long. You are a fool. I wouldn't entertain any of this.
If he is transgender then he most likely still has a vagina at 17.
Oh. I'm confused as usual with this stuff. I assumed he was born a boy. Either way. I wouldn't entertain intimate sleepovers like that. Same bed, door shut. Just no.
I know OP hasn't clarified yet but generally when someone is a trans male and goes by he/him, it means they were born female but identify as male but oftentimes still have their female parts. And then the reverse is true that a trans female who goes by she/her was born male but identifies as female but likely still has male parts.

So if this applies to the friend in OP's story, it means the friend was born female, still has female sexual organs, but identifies as male in every other way. And since the friend probably appears male outwardly, I'm guessing that's why the other adults had a problem with the sleepover.

OP can correct me if I have any of that wrong.
Traci_Momof2
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:06 am
Vegaswife2011 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 10:15 am What is a swamp cooler?!

An evaporative cooler... Like an air conditioner but it circulates air over water saturated pads to cool things down... Works in dry heat
I will add that swamp coolers are great in mild to moderate dry heat but don't work well in extreme heat. When I was growing up in Northern California in the foothills, where we rarely ever hit 100F, we had a swamp cooler and it worked great. Now I live in the desert of Arizona where we regularly hit 120F in the summer and swamp coolers just aren't enough when it gets that hot. Some of the older homes around here still have swamp coolers but if you want to be comfortable all summer long you really need proper AC around here.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:23 am No I would not. At the end of the day he is a boy, with teenage hormones, a penis, and has access to a girl in a bed all night long. You are a fool. I wouldn't entertain any of this.
at the end of the day he is a boy, with teenage hormones And no penis...… And access to his best friend, who for as of right now neither of see each other like that.

I might be a fool, sure but so are you.
Anonymous 1

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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 2:49 pm
Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 12:03 pm
PoplarGrove wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:58 am

If he is transgender then he most likely still has a vagina at 17.
Oh. I'm confused as usual with this stuff. I assumed he was born a boy. Either way. I wouldn't entertain intimate sleepovers like that. Same bed, door shut. Just no.
I know OP hasn't clarified yet but generally when someone is a trans male and goes by he/him, it means they were born female but identify as male but oftentimes still have their female parts. And then the reverse is true that a trans female who goes by she/her was born male but identifies as female but likely still has male parts.

So if this applies to the friend in OP's story, it means the friend was born female, still has female sexual organs, but identifies as male in every other way. And since the friend probably appears male outwardly, I'm guessing that's why the other adults had a problem with the sleepover.

OP can correct me if I have any of that wrong.
He goes by he/him. He was born female and yes still has female parts. He is starting to take testosterone.

He looks like a typical male teen. You really wouldn't know he was born female unless you were told.
Anonymous 1

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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 2:54 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:06 am
Vegaswife2011 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 10:15 am What is a swamp cooler?!

An evaporative cooler... Like an air conditioner but it circulates air over water saturated pads to cool things down... Works in dry heat
I will add that swamp coolers are great in mild to moderate dry heat but don't work well in extreme heat. When I was growing up in Northern California in the foothills, where we rarely ever hit 100F, we had a swamp cooler and it worked great. Now I live in the desert of Arizona where we regularly hit 120F in the summer and swamp coolers just aren't enough when it gets that hot. Some of the older homes around here still have swamp coolers but if you want to be comfortable all summer long you really need proper AC around here.
True in the dead heat of summer, the swamp coolers suck!
Just-mom
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PoplarGrove wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:58 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:08 am
PoplarGrove wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 10:23 am What is their objection about exactly? That the friend is male and they could be having S*x? Or that the friend is transgender? Or that two teenagers of any S*x or gender are sleeping in the same bed?

Personally, I don't have any problem with it. My kids have had friends of both genders and sexes sleep over. As long as I'm sure there isn't any sexual or romantic things going on I'm good. My kids are very open with me, though, and keep close, small groups of friends.
The fact that the friend is male.

They know the rules, no locking the door to the room (it can be closed) and no S*x.... witch I know they don't see each other that way.
So do they know that this friend has a vagina?
Not my place to tell them. That up to the friend.

I don't think I should have to explain things to people when all that matters is I know the truth.
WellPreserved
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If you, your daughter, her friend, and his parents are comfortable with the arrangement, I would just continue as you have been. There is no need to tell your extended family the specific sleeping arrangements.
"The books that the world calls immoral are books that show its own shame." - Oscar Wilde
Olioxenfree
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Our rule is no sleeping over in the same room with the opposite gender. If someone transitions to male, we recognize them as male and they aren’t sleeping over. The one exception we have made was my eleven year old sons friends is transgender and they went to a day camp together that ended in an overnight, the camp suddenly said his friend had to sleep with the boys because she was born male and she still really wanted to go so we let her share a tent with my son and their other friend, so she would feel safe since she knows them both well.
Momto2boys973
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Well, that depends. If there’s a penis and a vagina in the room, then however anyone chooses to define themselves, something could happen and have consequences. You can’t count on transgenderism to prevent that. The issue is complicated. I was just watching Jeopardy Masters and one of the contestants is a male-female transgender, married to a woman. So just because this kid is transgender, that doesn’t mean they’re not still attracted to the opposite S*x.
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