Why are people so adulterous?

[Anonymous 3]

What exactly did they say?

They run the gamut. Everything from a simple compliment and mild flirting to being outright lewd. Sometimes they act like they are interested in one of my businesses and want to hire me or work for me. I also get a lot of messages just trying to chat me up. They aren't flirtatious but also kind of out of the blue. I ignore them when I suspect that they're just looking for an excuse to talk to me.

A simple compliment is not adulterous. Interest in a business is not adulterous. I think in at least some of the cases you are reading way more into it than is actually intended.

I don't doubt that some men are flirtatious or downright lewd when they shouldn't be, but the way you come off in this whole thread makes it seem like you think you're all that and every man wants you. It's not a good look for you.

I've never heard of any of my female friends having this problem on a regular basis and I promise you we are not all woofers.

I didn’t take it that way. She said they seem interested in a business and then try for more. I’ve had one guy straight up be obvious about wanting me to cheat on my husband and another one just being flirty. This is just in the past year. They were both guys I went to high school with.

[Deleted User 1977]

The internet can breed all kinds of weird things, and getting carried away and overly flirtatious are two of them.

[Valentina327]

What exactly did they say?

They run the gamut. Everything from a simple compliment and mild flirting to being outright lewd. Sometimes they act like they are interested in one of my businesses and want to hire me or work for me. I also get a lot of messages just trying to chat me up. They aren't flirtatious but also kind of out of the blue. I ignore them when I suspect that they're just looking for an excuse to talk to me.

Or ... maybe they want to hire you or work for you?

Women like you crack me up. Any man that speaks to you or offers a kind word automatically wants you. It's called social media because people are ... Wait for it ... Being social!!!

[Momto2boys973]

No one’s saying you’re dense, just that maybe you sometimes take the intentions the wrong way. You said “everything from a simple compliment”, so maybe you’re being overly sensitive. A simple compliment doesn’t mean a guy wants to have S*x with you. And the whole “just to chat me up”, “or dying like they’re interested in business”, sorry but that sounds like you’re putting intentions in their messages based on your perceptions, looking too much lewdness into innocent behavior. But, you know, sometimes even guys just want to chat or are interested in your business. This idea that men are always looking for S*x is pretty sexist.
And yeah, it happens, but it doesn’t happen to women “all the time”. I have an internet business and I’m yet to find some guy pretending to be interested just to get into my pants. I have many friends with internet businesses who will tell you the same thing.

You might be reading too much into some of them. I don't think everyone is out to get into your pants. Those that are, block and move one. Simple.

This

I'm not dense, I can tell when someone is being flirtatious. There's really no other way to interpret explicit messages about my body or what they want to do to me.

I'm also not special, this happens to women all the time. I do block and delete, am I not allowed to ask why people are so adulterous and sick??

[Anonymous 1]

What exactly did they say?

They run the gamut. Everything from a simple compliment and mild flirting to being outright lewd. Sometimes they act like they are interested in one of my businesses and want to hire me or work for me. I also get a lot of messages just trying to chat me up. They aren't flirtatious but also kind of out of the blue. I ignore them when I suspect that they're just looking for an excuse to talk to me.

A simple compliment is not adulterous. Interest in a business is not adulterous. I think in at least some of the cases you are reading way more into it than is actually intended.

I don't doubt that some men are flirtatious or downright lewd when they shouldn't be, but the way you come off in this whole thread makes it seem like you think you're all that and every man wants you. It's not a good look for you.

I've never heard of any of my female friends having this problem on a regular basis and I promise you we are not all woofers.

A married man messaging a married woman that she's gorgeous may not be considered adultery to you but it's inappropriate and I would be bothered if I found out my husband was doing that. I said pretending to be interested in my business which means they eventually hit on me and let it be known they were never really interested in that. I also said that I am not special, in other words, I'm not "all that". Clearly. It happens to women all the time, "woofers" or not.

[Anonymous 1]

What exactly did they say?

They run the gamut. Everything from a simple compliment and mild flirting to being outright lewd. Sometimes they act like they are interested in one of my businesses and want to hire me or work for me. I also get a lot of messages just trying to chat me up. They aren't flirtatious but also kind of out of the blue. I ignore them when I suspect that they're just looking for an excuse to talk to me.

Or ... maybe they want to hire you or work for you?

Women like you crack me up. Any man that speaks to you or offers a kind word automatically wants you. It's called social media because people are ... Wait for it ... Being social!!!

Do you really think I'm going to turn down business because I just assume they want to flirt with me? No. I continue the conversation until it becomes clear what their real intentions are. Why are y'all more interested in convincing me that I'm not being flirted with than having a conversation about why people are like this? I don't assume everyone wants me but how else do you interpret "I wanna rip those leggings off of you" As wanting to work for you? As wanting to be hired?

Come on, ya'll. Get real. You really think people don't cheat all the time and use social media to do it?

[Traci_Momof2]

They run the gamut. Everything from a simple compliment and mild flirting to being outright lewd. Sometimes they act like they are interested in one of my businesses and want to hire me or work for me. I also get a lot of messages just trying to chat me up. They aren't flirtatious but also kind of out of the blue. I ignore them when I suspect that they're just looking for an excuse to talk to me.

A simple compliment is not adulterous. Interest in a business is not adulterous. I think in at least some of the cases you are reading way more into it than is actually intended.

I don't doubt that some men are flirtatious or downright lewd when they shouldn't be, but the way you come off in this whole thread makes it seem like you think you're all that and every man wants you. It's not a good look for you.

I've never heard of any of my female friends having this problem on a regular basis and I promise you we are not all woofers.

A married man messaging a married woman that she's gorgeous may not be considered adultery to you but it's inappropriate and I would be bothered if I found out my husband was doing that. I said pretending to be interested in my business which means they eventually hit on me and let it be known they were never really interested in that. I also said that I am not special, in other words, I'm not "all that". Clearly. It happens to women all the time, "woofers" or not.

Does it? I don't doubt that it happens, but does it happen "all the time"? Because that's not been my experience and so far it seems like there are more women in this thread questioning how often it really happens than there are women agreeing with you and sharing their own stories.

I don't doubt people flirt online. I don't doubt people make lewd comments online. But the way you are describing it, especially how often it happens, seems very exaggerated. It's hard to have a true conversation about the overall issue when your postings seem questionable to begin with.

You want to have a conversation about infidelity? I can talk about my SIL who met a man at the dog park and cheated on my BIL. I can talk about my uncle who met a woman at work and had an affair. I can talk about my cousin who met a woman somewhere and had an affair. I could talk about a friend of a friend who she would meet men anywhere she could and cheat on her husband left and right. I could even talk about my mom who cheated on my dad when they were still married. But I'll tell you what, in the context of all that infidelity that I've seen throughout my life, some comments on social media seem unimportant. I think you've already said you ignore the comments. There's not much more for you to do.

[SallyMae]

If you want to know why people are anything, the answer is always the same. We are this because we evolved this way, to meet the challenges of surviving as small bands of hunter-gatherers on the savanna. A group like that succeeds best when some of the people are adulterous.

[Deleted User 2267]

I think most of you are being insecurely obtuse here…

Women can tell when a man is putting feelers out… denying that is just insecurity based in you not feeling sexy enough for a man to try.. they do try. All day.

[Deleted User 2267]

And a simple test to prove…


How many of YOU have messaged a man out of the blue to tell him how good looking or sexy they are…? No one? Anyone?…. Exactly.