Venting about husband

[LiveWhatULove]

Disclaimer: I could share 1000 stories of my husband being a sweet, wise, hard-working, funny, and caring partner or parent. THIS is not one of those times.

I bought my DD9 some bralettes and sports bras upon her request.

As I was folding them, I made a comment about how my baby is growing up.

My husband says, “why would you buy her those things, she is too young.”

I reply calmly that her “friends” were teasing her about being able to see her nipples and she has requested to start wearing them.

My husband doubles down and says our DD needs to be able to withstand a little teasing, and he does not want her wearing a bra at age 9.

I was tired from working & his statement made me rage!. He was indignant. And our conversation well, it just went downhill from there. The highlight reel includes: how I am trying to sexualize a child and he forbids it. And me, calling him a misogynist AH with the gall to try control our DD’s body autonomy and ultimately shaming her for her choices.

Did anyone else’s husband utter such nonsense? I have had a full night’s sleep and still am annoyed.

[mommy_jules]

No, my DH was on board with getting DD11 her first sports/training bra. She was about 9 then. She has since developed more, and there’s no denying it at this point. DH has his moments, but this wasn’t one of them.

[Anonymous 1]

My husband has like zero clue about young/teen girl stuff. If I would have come home with a sports bra for her at age 5 he wouldn't even know what age you start buying stuff so he would say nothing. She is now 16 and just leaves the shopping, period stuff etc up to me. Which is fine. I'm sure if I would have died a long time ago he would have figured stuff out but I'm alive so...lol.

[Anonymous 1]

And my DD was slow to develop and just a tall, thin bean pole. She is barely an A even at 16. She's 5'7 and 113. I forget when I started buying braletts to hide nipples for her. Probably in the 6th grade so like 10/11?

[Deleted User 2267]

My Dh just doesn’t get involved in any of those decisions… I never talked to him about it and he’s never asked.

[LuckyEightWow]

First girl?

My poor oldest daughter, but she did make it easier for the girls to follow lol

So yes, him and I would have some knock down fights when it came to girls, girl things, and equality with the boys. If the boys could date, then so could she. If the boys could go over to their girlfriends, then so could the girls…. You get the drift.

[Anonymous 2]

I think my dd was that age when she got her first bra and no dh didn't say anything he just shrugged and said he knows nothing about that stuff so it's up to me.

[Anonymous 3]

My DH is clueless about these things and just has me handle most everything. But I don't think he would ever think I am sexualizing our DD by buying her bras. Do you think there is something deeper than this with your DH? My DD started wearing a bra I think at 9 or 10 because she had "bumps" and wanted to start wearing one.

[Anonymous 4]

Just tell him girls are developing younger so the "accepted ages" for such things aren't the same as they used to be?

So glad I didn't have to deal with this as I had a SS. I never wanted a girl either - didn't want to have to be responsible for "girly" things because I'm more of a tomboy type, and my mom never handled that stuff well so don't think I would have done it properly.

[LiveWhatULove]

First girl?

My poor oldest daughter, but she did make it easier for the girls to follow lol

So yes, him and I would have some knock down fights when it came to girls, girl things, and equality with the boys. If the boys could date, then so could she. If the boys could go over to their girlfriends, then so could the girls…. You get the drift.

First & only — our third, so she has two older brothers. I hope this is not a prediction for future assholery on his part, because he better treat them the same.