This is so much harder than I ever thought possible

[newyearnewring]

I agree that she needs to go to assisted living. I don't know about anywhere else but here the state pays for some nursing homes and assisted living spaces.

I will never be in that situation. I won't forgive the abuse mine put me through and would never help her.

I don't blame you at all. I think this would have been a lot easier if I just hadn't let them back in my life way back when. I love my mom, I really do, and I will also be relieved when this is all over with.

[SouthernIslander]

Caring for an ill parent with an abusive background is complicated. Just remember that its OK to protect your space/peace from an abusive past because that wasn't a situation you created.

I am really sorry that you're going through this. Watching that generation age is difficult no matter what. Hugs and support to you.

[Momto2boys973]

I understand that taking care of elderly parents is always tough. I know I will have to at some point (my dad will be 80 next week, my mom is 74) and since my only brother passed away, I’m dreading that it all falls on me. But it seems you have too much crap to deal with. I’m sorry you’re going through that.

[hotspice58]

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. My sister got 3 aides so my mother could stay on the house she spent of her life in. Good luck.

[Anonymous 3]

I agree that she needs to go to assisted living. I don't know about anywhere else but here the state pays for some nursing homes and assisted living spaces.

I will never be in that situation. I won't forgive the abuse mine put me through and would never help her.

You could wind up in that situation from the other end; your kids could turn against you.

[EarlGrayHot]

Perhaps you could have a meeting with her doctor without her being there if that would help. I would also suggest that the dog be sent to training so he or she will be better behaved around people. See if you can find someone who could come in and help with caregiving. There are some places that will help find a living situation for the elderly but it sounds like in home care would be best (and probably cheaper). Perhaps they would have a suggestion or two for home help. A Place for Mom is one organization that helps and there are others.

Good luck!

[carterscutie85]

I agree that she needs to go to assisted living. I don't know about anywhere else but here the state pays for some nursing homes and assisted living spaces.

I will never be in that situation. I won't forgive the abuse mine put me through and would never help her.

You could wind up in that situation from the other end; your kids could turn against you.

That is true. But I am doing my best to break the cycle of abuse. If they become adults and decide to not speak to me, then I will know I have failed and didn't break the cycle. That will be my fault.

[newyearnewring]

I agree that she needs to go to assisted living. I don't know about anywhere else but here the state pays for some nursing homes and assisted living spaces.

I will never be in that situation. I won't forgive the abuse mine put me through and would never help her.

You could wind up in that situation from the other end; your kids could turn against you.

I think it's probably not that common for kids to cut off contact with their parents for absolutely no reason. There's always a reason.