There's no excuse for this

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mater-three
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Kookookrazy wrote: Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:24 pm I read through most of the replies...the reason i havent gone back to therapy is because it doesnt work.In the past the therapists would only concentrate on what they wanted to concentrate on I went to therapy to talk about my past and how to navigate all the trauma and get some understanding of it but my therapists never let me speak about it .It was always well how are you doing THIS WEEK? And my weeks would be consumed with dealing with my mother or dealing with my daughter my thoughts and feelings have always come last. I am not sure I am capable of loving myself because it has been ingrained in me since childhood to loathe myself and hate everything about me that makes me myself.

I also feel guilty if i attempt to like anything about myself its like I can see my mother glaring at me in contempt .Loving myself is a foreign concept .
It works. Of course they’re going to ask how you’re doing this week. That’s how they gauge whether you are safe emotionally. You don’t just walk in and start talking about trauma right off the bat. Most people don’t want to.
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highlandmum
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Kookookrazy wrote: Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:24 pm I read through most of the replies...the reason i havent gone back to therapy is because it doesnt work.In the past the therapists would only concentrate on what they wanted to concentrate on I went to therapy to talk about my past and how to navigate all the trauma and get some understanding of it but my therapists never let me speak about it .It was always well how are you doing THIS WEEK? And my weeks would be consumed with dealing with my mother or dealing with my daughter my thoughts and feelings have always come last. I am not sure I am capable of loving myself because it has been ingrained in me since childhood to loathe myself and hate everything about me that makes me myself.

I also feel guilty if i attempt to like anything about myself its like I can see my mother glaring at me in contempt .Loving myself is a foreign concept .
Therapy does work. First it is not a instant fix, they are going to ask about how you are doing. This is to make you feel comfortable with the appointment. You need to find one you are comfortable with, this may not be the first one you see, heck it may be the tenth one you go to see. Let them know you have been overwhelmed dealing with your daughter, your sons illness, that you are always putting yourself last. This is the start, they will work their way back to find the route of the issue. But they need to start with the current day to find out where to go with the past.

Another thing we are mothers, it is natural to put ourselves last. I have done it for years and years, but the last half of 2022 I decided it was time to be a little selfish and put myself first a few times. Hence the facial at a spa, instead of doing it at home.

Oh and your update makes this guy sound like he is about to ask you for money. Sorry but I think he sees you are wanting attention and will do anything for it, as a result he is about to ask for money to fix his car, or go to a funeral that is in another state. If he does, hang up, block him and never think about him again. If you give him money you will never hear from him again, unless he needs more.
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Baconqueen13 wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 10:42 pm Son has extreme autism and adhd... The daughter has some form of autism (though not as extreme as the son, bipolar, and anxiety disorders) It's severe enough for "mom" to receive government benefits on both of them for their care.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 10:08 pm What special needs do her children have that she can’t go on a date?
Baconqueen13 wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 9:57 pm

Listen to yourself.

He took to long to call back (according to what? Oh because YOU wanted the attention)
You told him you were done....and then you changed your mind ( because YOU want the attention)

And let's not even add in the bit of you being willing to leave your children (who are special needs) to go on a "spontaneous" date....(because you want attention)

I mean HONESTLY...What kid of mother puts DATING over the well being of her kids?

Let's face it you are the one playing games with him by leading him on and then ignoring his calls. You're not even interested in him. You're only interested in the ATTENTION
You need THERAPY
kids with those disorders can live normal lives and be left alone. it seems her kids have high functioning autism. both my kids have bipolar disorder, adhd, my oldest has Bpd. my oldest is married with children now. both of my kids are grown and unmedicated by their own choice. my youngest is 20, has a full time job, drives, does his own thing. currently still lives with me but working on getting his own place soon.
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Anonymous 7 wrote: Fri Feb 03, 2023 5:25 am
Baconqueen13 wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 10:42 pm Son has extreme autism and adhd... The daughter has some form of autism (though not as extreme as the son, bipolar, and anxiety disorders) It's severe enough for "mom" to receive government benefits on both of them for their care.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 10:08 pm What special needs do her children have that she can’t go on a date?

kids with those disorders can live normal lives and be left alone. it seems her kids have high functioning autism. both my kids have bipolar disorder, adhd, my oldest has Bpd. my oldest is married with children now. both of my kids are grown and unmedicated by their own choice. my youngest is 20, has a full time job, drives, does his own thing. currently still lives with me but working on getting his own place soon.
Doesn't your dd live with you too?
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Conweis
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It's time to cut your losses and move on. He is obviously stringing you along. Let him know this is not what you want in a relationship.
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