There's no excuse for this

[mater-three]

I can hear the compassion in your message. I have told her before that I don't even think she should come on this site because there is a lot of bullying to her. I don't know how that makes her feel any better. I just had a thought earlier that maybe because she was abused by her mom and others, this feels familiar to her to come here and be bullied since that's a lot of what she knows. I'm not therapist, but I just was trying to think what makes her keep coming back here. She says similar things at times and maybe she thinks "this time" someone will be nicer, "this time" someone will say something that sticks and is helpful. I gave her some suggestions and said maybe find some online groups with similar situations. Reddit has a lot to choose from. Don't give up on yourself or your kids Kookoo!

Yeah i know i need therapy and meds . This situation just confirms to me that not dating for ten years was the right decision I'm not capable of dating or receiving love. I'm going back to being a recluse. Im already taking my $250 hairstyle out of my hair because what's the point.

Stop! I know that people get frustrated with you; I’m guilty of it myself. But, don’t you dare let anyone tell you that you are not capable or receiving love because that’s not true - at all. Everyone is capable of love. Some refuse to allow themselves to receive or give it but that’s a choice and only a choice. You do need therapy and don’t need a relationship right now. That does NOT mean you aren’t capable or worthy of love; it means you need to love yourself first.

I’m sorry that some are so cruel to you. I’m also sorry that I have been dismissive toward you. I’ll try to be kinder in the future. Get help Kookoo - and stop posting this stuff in here. We aren’t your therapist and some resort to be horrible to try to talk to. YOU can fix this - YOU!

It’s heartbreaking to see someone think they aren’t worthy of love. I know how that feels - and no one should have to feel that way. I honestly can understand why she posts in here. I reach out to others for years hoping someone would care enough about me - and I was met with a lot of criticism too. It’s self-sabotage in a way. She expects it, she gets it - and doesn’t expect that it will ever change. That doesn’t keep her from trying again though. She has such a low opinion of herself that she keeps coming back for more. That’s what often happens when we look to others for validation. The problem is we are never going to be good enough for everyone. We just have to be good enough for ourselves. She is enough. I just hope she isn’t 80 when she figures it out. It took me 40+ years.

[MistressMonster]

I dont have much dating experience at all..which is not my fault.Add on to the fact ive been single and by myself for ten years .

Get a BOB for now until you work on your issues. And I get it! I miss affection too.

Yeah i just finished crying it out i literally sobbed into my pillow. I just feel so stupid in crying out of embarrassment because i got so many red flags that i ignored out of desperation.Im just so lonely i just wanted to feel desired and get some affection.

I understand being lonely. But you need to handle your baggage first. Please find a therapist, work on yourself, and the rest will come.

[Kookookrazy]

I havent read the replies yet I will in a moment...I just wanted to come back and say Im humiliated and gutted.He never replied back to my last message he ghosted me.All I can think about is the fact that I wasnt even worthy of being taken out on a date before discarding and ghosting me.I dont have much experience with men besides being used for S*x and a placeholder until something better comes along.I was a placeholder once again but I didnt get anything out of it.I went to a local fb group called are we dating the same guy and i got some responses...they said he likes to wine and dine and spend money I wasnt even worth a kfc takeout container.

Im falling apart mentally.I cant stop crying. I actually had to leave my house before I started crying in front of my son.I just took him in for his biopsy and he's at home eating.Im driving to lake mead to cry by myself and get my thoughts together before I come back home.My kids pick up on EVERYTHING and its annoying they detect my mood instantly the other day while I was lying in bed trying to cry and feel my feelings my kids kept knocking and knocking on my door and sending are you okay texts.Im tired of having to put on a happy smile so they dont suspect anything.I just want to be able to cry and feel my feelings for once. Being single all these years I conditioned myself to be okay with it because i just deemed myself incapable of being loved but this time I actually tried and it was reaffirmed that Im not even worthy of the bare minimum .

Im going to sit out here for awhile and get it all out so I can go home and my kids not suspect anything is off.

[Baconqueen13]

I havent read the replies yet I will in a moment...I just wanted to come back and say Im humiliated and gutted.He never replied back to my last message he ghosted me.All I can think about is the fact that I wasnt even worthy of being taken out on a date before discarding and ghosting me.I dont have much experience with men besides being used for S*x and a placeholder until something better comes along.I was a placeholder once again but I didnt get anything out of it.I went to a local fb group called are we dating the same guy and i got some responses...they said he likes to wine and dine and spend money I wasnt even worth a kfc takeout container.

Im falling apart mentally.I cant stop crying. I actually had to leave my house before I started crying in front of my son.I just took him in for his biopsy and he's at home eating.Im driving to lake mead to cry by myself and get my thoughts together before I come back home.My kids pick up on EVERYTHING and its annoying they detect my mood instantly the other day while I was lying in bed trying to cry and feel my feelings my kids kept knocking and knocking on my door and sending are you okay texts.Im tired of having to put on a happy smile so they dont suspect anything.I just want to be able to cry and feel my feelings for once. Being single all these years I conditioned myself to be okay with it because i just deemed myself incapable of being loved but this time I actually tried and it was reaffirmed that Im not even worthy of the bare minimum .

Im going to sit out here for awhile and get it all out so I can go home and my kids not suspect anything is off.

Once again, you didn't even like him (just the attention) and you weren't dating. Get a grip. If you're "falling apart mentally" over a non-existent relationship you are NOT ready for a relationship or to even begin dating. You need to work on YOU and being happy with YOU and loving yourself. Get a battery operated boyfriend to take care of any sexual needs for fucks sake and go see a therapist....for real...like actually work with them.

[highlandmum]

I havent read the replies yet I will in a moment...I just wanted to come back and say Im humiliated and gutted.He never replied back to my last message he ghosted me.All I can think about is the fact that I wasnt even worthy of being taken out on a date before discarding and ghosting me.I dont have much experience with men besides being used for S*x and a placeholder until something better comes along.I was a placeholder once again but I didnt get anything out of it.I went to a local fb group called are we dating the same guy and i got some responses...they said he likes to wine and dine and spend money I wasnt even worth a kfc takeout container.

Im falling apart mentally.I cant stop crying. I actually had to leave my house before I started crying in front of my son.I just took him in for his biopsy and he's at home eating.Im driving to lake mead to cry by myself and get my thoughts together before I come back home.My kids pick up on EVERYTHING and its annoying they detect my mood instantly the other day while I was lying in bed trying to cry and feel my feelings my kids kept knocking and knocking on my door and sending are you okay texts.Im tired of having to put on a happy smile so they dont suspect anything.I just want to be able to cry and feel my feelings for once. Being single all these years I conditioned myself to be okay with it because i just deemed myself incapable of being loved but this time I actually tried and it was reaffirmed that Im not even worthy of the bare minimum .

Im going to sit out here for awhile and get it all out so I can go home and my kids not suspect anything is off.

You need to work on yourself. Forget about a relationship right now, forget about him. This is a good thing because you became too dependent on him, and you were thinking he was the way to happiness. That is not going to happen till you learn to love yourself. Get involved in something like a book club, yoga club, art class, something where you can meet a friend, and have someone to vent with. But this still will not take the place of a therapist, you need to find one that works for you. It may take a bit to find one but once you do they will have the ability to help you grow and develop a love for yourself. If you don't you are going to find yourself in a toxic, dependent relationship which will only drive yourself to additional self-loathing.

[Kookookrazy]

I read through most of the replies...the reason i havent gone back to therapy is because it doesnt work.In the past the therapists would only concentrate on what they wanted to concentrate on I went to therapy to talk about my past and how to navigate all the trauma and get some understanding of it but my therapists never let me speak about it .It was always well how are you doing THIS WEEK? And my weeks would be consumed with dealing with my mother or dealing with my daughter my thoughts and feelings have always come last. I am not sure I am capable of loving myself because it has been ingrained in me since childhood to loathe myself and hate everything about me that makes me myself.

I also feel guilty if i attempt to like anything about myself its like I can see my mother glaring at me in contempt .Loving myself is a foreign concept .

[Kookookrazy]

I havent read the replies yet I will in a moment...I just wanted to come back and say Im humiliated and gutted.He never replied back to my last message he ghosted me.All I can think about is the fact that I wasnt even worthy of being taken out on a date before discarding and ghosting me.I dont have much experience with men besides being used for S*x and a placeholder until something better comes along.I was a placeholder once again but I didnt get anything out of it.I went to a local fb group called are we dating the same guy and i got some responses...they said he likes to wine and dine and spend money I wasnt even worth a kfc takeout container.

Im falling apart mentally.I cant stop crying. I actually had to leave my house before I started crying in front of my son.I just took him in for his biopsy and he's at home eating.Im driving to lake mead to cry by myself and get my thoughts together before I come back home.My kids pick up on EVERYTHING and its annoying they detect my mood instantly the other day while I was lying in bed trying to cry and feel my feelings my kids kept knocking and knocking on my door and sending are you okay texts.Im tired of having to put on a happy smile so they dont suspect anything.I just want to be able to cry and feel my feelings for once. Being single all these years I conditioned myself to be okay with it because i just deemed myself incapable of being loved but this time I actually tried and it was reaffirmed that Im not even worthy of the bare minimum .

Im going to sit out here for awhile and get it all out so I can go home and my kids not suspect anything is off.

Once again, you didn't even like him (just the attention) and you weren't dating. Get a grip. If you're "falling apart mentally" over a non-existent relationship you are NOT ready for a relationship or to even begin dating. You need to work on YOU and being happy with YOU and loving yourself. Get a battery operated boyfriend to take care of any sexual needs for fucks sake and go see a therapist....for real...like actually work with them.

Ive been using a battery operated boyfriend for ten years hell ive broken some...I really feel like my button is desensitized at this point Im not falling apart for him per se because like you said i didnt know him/barely liked him its the REJECTION im falling apart about.Im always rejected the fact that Im not even taken on a date before being discarded kills me inside. And we did talk for a whole month I revealed so much to him I really did like him he was easy to talk to .

[Kookookrazy]

I threw my common sense completely out the window today.I decided I needed closure and I unblocked him and sent him a text saying " Im assuming you're no longer interested in me since you've left me on read for 3 days I would have appreciated hearing it directly from you but nevertheless I wish you well on your future dating pursuits .No reply is necessary.Goodluck and Goodbye" . He texted me back immediately saying he is sorry and he did not mean to do it.

I just spoke to him on the phone and he told me he had a messed up weekend .He said he had a death in his family,lost his debit card,his car broke down in the middle of the road and he needs a repair etc.I just havent been on his mind but he said that doesnt mean he's not interested. Because I have been spiraling mentally blaming myself,not feeling good enough I told him I would like to keep him around as a friend if he is open to it .I said hey im still new to vegas and i really could use a friend .

I do feel relieved that he didnt ghost me because im not good enough but that he had alot of stuff going on ..I still feel very dumb though I literally cried all day for no reason it turns out .

He said the way i automatically jump to negative conclusions all the time is me purposely pushing him away and he said he doesnt understand why i jump to the worst case scenario every time he doesnt text me back immediately or within a day.

I successfully ruined this before it even started and now im in the friend zone.

[Anonymous 4]

And the saga continues...

[Anonymous 6]

Closure from what? There was nothing to close.

Your story about the severity of your children’s autism. Their mutual conceptions by rape, your brothers ina Ulithi to handle money despite having a job and your mothers, and now this change depending on your mood swing!

Therapy doesn’t work because YOU don’t want it to work. If you heal then you can’t use the trauma for attention. Your therapists ask how you are this week to find out your current barometer—if you say I’m great! They ask WHY. If you say I’m triggered they will ask WHY and allow YOU to
circle back.







quote=Kookookrazy post_id=939670 time=1675233175
user_id=663]
I threw my common sense completely out the window today.I decided I needed closure and I unblocked him and sent him a text saying " Im assuming you're no longer interested in me since you've left me on read for 3 days I would have appreciated hearing it directly from you but nevertheless I wish you well on your future dating pursuits .No reply is necessary.Goodluck and Goodbye" . He texted me back immediately saying he is sorry and he did not mean to do it.

I just spoke to him on the phone and he told me he had a messed up weekend .He said he had a death in his family,lost his debit card,his car broke down in the middle of the road and he needs a repair etc.I just havent been on his mind but he said that doesnt mean he's not interested. Because I have been spiraling mentally blaming myself,not feeling good enough I told him I would like to keep him around as a friend if he is open to it .I said hey im still new to vegas and i really could use a friend .

I do feel relieved that he didnt ghost me because im not good enough but that he had alot of stuff going on ..I still feel very dumb though I literally cried all day for no reason it turns out .

He said the way i automatically jump to negative conclusions all the time is me purposely pushing him away and he said he doesnt understand why i jump to the worst case scenario every time he doesnt text me back immediately or within a day.

I successfully ruined this before it even started and now im in the friend zone.
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