Checking kid’s phone texts…

[WellPreserved]

I checked my daughter's pretty regularly from age 11-14 mainly because of some concerning behavior.

I still check my son's phone and he's 19. He's on the autism spectrum and doesn't use the best judgment when it comes to social apps or texting.

[Traci_Momof2]

No. I believe in my kids' right to privacy, and they've never given me any reason to question what they are texting and seeing, so I'm not going to invade that privacy just because I can.

I've asked for their phone on rare occasion to check something in the settings or what not (DS18 had something weird going on with his data) but I tell them what I'm looking at and it's with their knowledge because honestly I don't even remember their passcodes and have to have them unlock it.

[Momto2boys973]

I don’t, but I probably would if I saw a reason to. My oldest is 18 and has never given us a reason to doubt him. Plus, he wants to study computer science and specialize in cybersecurity, so he knows the dangers of the internet and social media. My youngest is 16, doing high school abroad where he’s not allowed a smartphone, but also has never given us a reason to doubt.

[Anonymous 2]

Exactly. It's quite shocking parents are checking 'just because they can.' I guess some parents feel the right to know every single thing and privacy be damned. Maybe my daughter doesn't want me to see that she text her friend and she likes the new boy in class, or see that she text her friend "I hate my mom!" after we argued about something earlier, she had to borrow a pad from a friend, or that's she nervous about an upcoming test etc. I suppose if you suspect heavy drugs or your kid may shoot up the school by all means. But just regular conversation between friends? Over the line imo.

No. I believe in my kids' right to privacy, and they've never given me any reason to question what they are texting and seeing, so I'm not going to invade that privacy just because I can.

I've asked for their phone on rare occasion to check something in the settings or what not (DS18 had something weird going on with his data) but I tell them what I'm looking at and it's with their knowledge because honestly I don't even remember their passcodes and have to have them unlock it.

[Heyteacher]

I sure do! Our rule is phone on demand. Our oldest is a great kid, in the gifted program at school and has a long list of people who look out for him. As a result the worst thing I see is language…which at the end of the day is no big deal (but don’t tell him that)

[Pjmm]

No I never did. I think the closest I ever got was I saw on the bill a lot of calls and texts made at some ungodly hour. So I thought ds was texting all night long. Turns out T-Mobile does everything in pacific time, not eastern. So once I realized that the times fit his waking hours. And he told me who it was.

[Inmybizz]

Yes. I check everything.. nothing is off limits.

[lauren08]

3 of the 4 are now 18+ so no checking theirs. I used to periodically check when they were younger and then switched to only checking if there was reason to, which was very infrequent. They knew that I had their passwords and could check if I wanted to though. I still check my 13 year old’s because social media is just so scary these days.