He's mad because I'm refusing to take plan b

[Traci_Momof2]

Fair enough. When I talk about c-sections I try to use my experience as a possibility. Let them know that yes, most c-sections are pretty straight forward and just pressure and discomfort, but sometimes there is a lot of pain like I had. I put forward my experience as a possibility, rather than an expectation.

As it was, my IUD (a Mirena) insertion, which was after my second child (also a c-section) was easy breezy. I don't think I even used any pain meds at all. My Essure insertion 5 years later still wasn't straight up painful but it was quite uncomfortable (lots of pressure) and I was holding my nurses hand and doing a lot of Lamaze-type breathing to get through it. But even then when the procedure was done, by the time I got dressed, asked a few questions and got into the car I was feeling fine again.

Apparently my internal lady parts have little to no issue with things being inserted but take great issue with being sliced open even when there is an epidural / spinal.

Thank you. To put it plainly, it didn't cross my mind that there was a significant number of women who didn't find it crazy painful. All of the women in my life who have had IUDs had experiences similar to mine, and my SIL is a gynecologist who says that it is her standard practice to offer pain management for IUD insertion because in her experience the majority of her patients had pain that was closer to severe than to tolerable. I'm also internet-friendly with several gynecologists across the US who are in my abortion access network and all of them have publicly held very strong and loud opinions about pain management for IUD insertion and gynecological procedures in general.

I talked about this to a lot of people and did a lot of research on it because it still kind of bothers me that I never filed a complaint against that doctor. I wanted to know whether I was right to feel so violated or if I truly was one in a million. So I wouldn't actually agree that it's super unusual to feel severe pain.

Still, I'll acknowledge that I may have swung too far in the opposite direction and overestimated the prevalence of severe pain, and I am sorry the language I used came across as inflammatory, that wasn't my intention. I will draw the line at calling severe pain atypical though.

Your doctor was wrong to gaslight you and not take your specific pain seriously. Doctors should know that everyone is different and as soon as she saw the indications of pain in you, she should have done something about it.

But you have to realize, your experience was the exception, not the rule. So when talking about IUD insertion in general, it is very inflammatory to use terms such as "outrageously painful". That is not the experience of the majority of women who get an IUD. Many experience no pain at all. Many others just go home and take some Tylenol and lay down for a bit and it's all good. Those are typical experiences. It is not typical to offer local anesthetic for an IUD insertion.

This isn't about discounting someone's lived experience. I get what you are saying. I personally had two c-sections that were more pain than I've ever felt in my life. I don't know why it was so incredibly painful for me, but it was enough that it was one big factor in me deciding to never have any more kids. BUT, I know my experience is not TYPICAL for a c-section. Even though there are other mom's out there who have experienced the same pain I did, there are also a hell of a lot of mom's who felt like the c-section was no big deal. There are even ones who found the c-section to be a relief from the pain of labor.

Everyone is different and has their own story to tell. But still, each medical procedure has a typical and normal for that procedure, and sometimes some of us just fall outside of that typical and normal.

I had one IUD in my life and I did find it insanely painful. My doctor severely undersold how much pain I should expect, did not offer any local anesthetic to speak of, and then tried to gaslight me by saying that the insertion didn't hurt that bad after I literally almost threw up from the pain right in front of her. I changed doctors after that and my current one is not a sadist, but you couldn't pay me any amount of money to ever get another IUD.

Also, it is F***ing disgusting to discount someone's lived experience just because it differs from your own. What is wrong with you? I'm happy for anyone who didn't find their IUD insertion to be particularly painful, but it is not abnormal to experience extreme pain while having something forcibly shoved through your cervix without pain management, and it is certainly not abnormal to expect pain management to be offered.