DD isn't allowed to go on her fun trip with a friend anymore

Anonymous 1

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DD was supposed to go away for a week with her best friend's family on a vacation. She isnt going anymore because she is grounded. I called her friend's mom to tell her and to let her know I will pay her back any money that is spent

She is not happy. She says that now her daughter is going to be sad and she will feel left out. I told her that I am sorry to hear that but my daughter is in big trouble and she isnt going to go out and have fun when she is grounded.

When my kids are grounded they are grounded from everything with the only exception being school. She is going to be grounded for at least two months. She wont be doing anything during that time besides sitting in her room and helping out around the house.

Her friends mom asked if we could put it off until after they got back and I told her no. If I make an exception for her now I will have to make one any time in the future. The rules are the rules and she knew them.

For those curious about what she did... She felt it would be a good idea to sneak out in the middle of the night in my car and drive her, her boyfriend, and some of his friends around. She was pulled over and fined and I had to go and pick her and her friends up because she couldnt drive them all home. A 16 year old can not drive with anyone in the car unless they are an adult or family members.

Actions have consequences and my daughter needs to learn that. That is far more important to me than how some other parent feels about a trip that isnt even a need.
Anonymous 2

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Every day your life is one problem or another.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 2 wrote: Mon Aug 15, 2022 8:47 am Every day your life is one problem or another.
This is my first post in over a year! I don't have that many problems in my life.
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LiveWhatULove
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2 months is a really long time.

Is the friend going on the trip, in the same group as the boyfriend & those friends? I would do all things possible to get her far far away from that crowd, even if the opportunity is a vacation!!
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carterscutie85
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Recycled.
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Anonymous 2 wrote: Mon Aug 15, 2022 8:47 am Every day your life is one problem or another.
And you know exactly who this member is how?
Anonymous 3

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carterscutie85 wrote: Mon Aug 15, 2022 9:06 am Recycled.
Or totally different poster with similar experience. 2 of my dds friends are grounded for the same reason right now. 1 missed a weekend beach trip with us for this reason.
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Someone else apparently had the same problem...daughter grounded, missing a planned trip, and other Mom upset...and posted about it here only a month or two ago.

What a coincidence.

When is this planned trip and when does school start?
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The only thing I would do differently is I feel that discipline is best received when it has a consequence that is tied to the action. Like, I have no problem with grounding, but when I ground I will say “you didn’t do well on this test because you didn’t take enough time studying, so for the next week you won’t be going out with friends so you can take the time needed to study.”

I don’t want them to think “I won’t get caught doing that again because I was so bored”, because they might think that the night of fun is worth a few weeks of boredom, I want them to think “I won’t do that again because I understand how dangerous it was.” So I would definitely still ground her and not let her go on the trip, but instead of sitting in her room I’d have to spend that time volunteering with a group that advocates for safe driving for teenagers and I’d have her research the possible legal consequences for taking a car without asking. But, she’s your child, I’m not saying I disagree with what your doing, just voicing what’s worked for me in the past.
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AZOldCoot wrote: Mon Aug 15, 2022 9:55 am Someone else apparently had the same problem...daughter grounded, missing a planned trip, and other Mom upset...and posted about it here only a month or two ago.

What a coincidence.

When is this planned trip and when does school start?
I just searched and there are no posts at all that mention being grounded in the last two months besides this one.
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