Sleep divorce

[Anonymous 2]

Yes it is.

Back that up with peer reviewed science

PJMM did it for me. There is a risk of pneumonia for anyone who uses a CPAP so why would anyone without a medical need spend hundreds of dollars on the machine and then not even be able to use it? It has to be calibrated by a dr. And then add in the risk factors. It's not worth it.

With negligence yes it can lead to pneumonia. You made it seem like this is a problem for people without sleep apnea

[Inmybizz]

I can’t believe he doesn’t have sleep apnea. My husband did the sleep study (he snored like crazy). He was able to get the cpap and it was a game changer. His blood pressure improved, his mood was better, he’s able to stay awake during the day.. it really improved his overall health.

Is your husband overweight? If so losing weight might help. I would also continue to try to get a cpap.

I’ve been trying to get him to do another sleep study. He is a little overweight but not by much. Definitely not in the obese category. He has sinus problems which I am sure doesn’t help. The sleep study he has said he had moderate snoring. I don’t think you can hear moderate snoring clear across the house. If the noise machine isn’t on, he can be heard downstairs.

The sleep study should have indicated how much sleep he gets as well. With the snoring, gasping for air, my husband was only getting 4 hours of sleep at night. Your husband’s sleep study should have told him how much deep sleep he gets per night.. it’s not just about the snoring.

[Anonymous 4]

I so get this. And for those saying get the CPAP yeah my DH has one after his sleep study. Instead of snoring I can now hear that thing. And sometimes when he tossed and turned it would slip off and sound like Darth Vader in my ear. I told him that thing is going in the trash. My DH doesn’t snore every night. So I just put up with it and when he does it really bad I wake him up and tell him to stop it. I could never sleep apart from him so we just deal with it.

[Anonymous 2]

PJMM did it for me. There is a risk of pneumonia for anyone who uses a CPAP so why would anyone without a medical need spend hundreds of dollars on the machine and then not even be able to use it? It has to be calibrated by a dr. And then add in the risk factors. It's not worth it.

I used to calibrate those machines when I worked for a company that sold them. The doctor would send us the prescription for the calibration. This was the early 2000s. I don’t remember hearing about the pneumonia risk back then. But I’ve seen people with sleep apnea. If you have it I think the risk is worth it. There’s an increased risk of pneumonia anyway. If you don’t have apnea the machine makes no sense. I think anon is saying she’d take her husband for a sleep study before she moved bedrooms. With the couple I know with separate bedrooms I’m pretty sure the guy has apnea. He just won’t get the study. He’s the sort that only sees a doctor if a hand is falling off or something.

Yes i know all this. My husband has apnea(refuses to use his stupid machine)... And in the OP she said he already went for a sleep study and they said he didn't have it. Which is why anon 2s comment was wrong. You can't just get a CPAP and use it properly without a dr. When my dh got his machine that dr told him about that increased risk of upper respiratory infection and pneumonia.

I would do another sleep study but people use them all the time without OSA or SA. They are easy to get and use without a doctor.

[Pjmm]

Back that up with peer reviewed science

I’m not her but I was interested in the answer. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3971026/

There’s an increased risk of pneumonia with sleep apnea. A CPAP may add to that. It appears it has to do with moisture and bacteria in the tubing. Cleaning the machine, using distilled water, and emptying it after each use reduces the risk. As for me I had a bf once that used a CPAP. He used to wake me up because his mask sucked and he often had to fix it. But I do know married couples that have separate bedrooms. Whatever you do is fine with me.

Yes but that has nothing to do with not having sleep apnea like she said.

It’s at the end of the article.
“The use of CPAP may reduce sputum expectoration and increase the chance of pulmonary aspiration.31 Addition of a humidifier also provides a potential source of bacterial contamination, inducing the emergence of pneumonia.13,31 Based on our results, we suggest that primary care physicians consider sleep disorders among patients with pneumonia who have no other identified risk factors or with recurrent pneumonia. For sleep specialists, our findings may broaden the spectrum of sleep apnea–related complications, which may not be limited to the cardiovascular or neurocognitive aspects. As well, for patients receiving CPAP therapy, every effort should be made to minimize the risk of pneumonia, such as enhanced cleaning of CPAP tubing and humidifier, and vigilance if recurrent pneumonia is noted among CPAP users.”

In short, keep the damned machine clean or take the risk. As for the rest I’m not particularly against separate bedrooms. But I’m set in my ways and hated having my cat in my bed never mind a person. If I have a king or queen size bed I’m fine. Anything smaller forget it. And I’ve slept with people with untreated sleep apnea. I have a friend I’m sure has it. Sharing a room with her is a nightmare. Last time we stayed at a hotel I needed a headset and music just to sleep.

[RIZZY1]

We have a similar problem. I wear ear plugs, use a fan, and an air purifier. They only work if I fall asleep before him. I still hear his snoring but it's muffled so as long as I'm already asleep, it doesn't wake me up. But on those nights I can't sleep, it's torture.

We don't have any spare bedrooms and our couch is not comfortable to sleep on. I bought an army-style cot but he got very upset when he woke up one night and I was sleeping on it. He insists that he should be the one to move, not me. I can't stand for both of us to be sleep deprived, though, and the cot is actually very comfortable. But he still insists I sleep in our bed. He even put the cot in the attic.

I do love sleeping next to him so until it gets really bad, I'll just try to go to sleep before him every night.

He's not overweight. He's actually kind of on the thin side. But he has a lot of scar tissue in his nasal passages, I think that has something to do with it.

[Anonymous 3]

Back that up with peer reviewed science

PJMM did it for me. There is a risk of pneumonia for anyone who uses a CPAP so why would anyone without a medical need spend hundreds of dollars on the machine and then not even be able to use it? It has to be calibrated by a dr. And then add in the risk factors. It's not worth it.

With negligence yes it can lead to pneumonia. You made it seem like this is a problem for people without sleep apnea

Not with negligence. It's pretty common to get an upper respiratory or pneumonia my husband used his for a year and got sick 4 times. Yes he cleaned it properly, yes he used the right water and did all the things per the directions. My bil gets sick every few months as well. And has for a decade. It's not my fault you took what i said wrong.

[Deleted User 1977]

He doesn't have heart or lung issues? He's been given the all clear in both of those areas?

[Traci_Momof2]

So my hubby snores crazy loud. He did a sleep study and said he doesn’t have apnea but idk. Sometimes he gasps in his sleep, has crazy sleep starts that wake me up, and snores so loud I can hear him through ear plugs and a headband with headphones playing music. This is also with a noise machine on the headboard between us.

I started sleeping in another room and it has made a world Of difference. I am actually getting sleep and so is he. Someone told me we are sleep divorced. I’m honestly okay with that because it means our marriage can remain intact. Lol. The no sleep was killing us both.

I've never heard the term "sleep divorce" but I've known many who have slept separately like that. My grandparents had separate bedrooms as far back as my earliest memories of them. My co-worker and her husband have separate bedrooms. They each have their own sleep issues and it just works better if they are in separate rooms because then they each can manage their own issues without disturbing the other.

Sleep is important for overall health, and getting the best sleep for both of you is the best thing you can do for your marriage.

[Traci_Momof2]

Which machine does your husband use? My husband hates his and refuses to use it. I've been in the couch a lot lately

Hes got the one that cover the nose. It took a minute for him to get used to wearing it but once he noticed the difference in his health and mood he uses it religiously.

I would encourage him to keep using it.. it makes a huge difference.

We tried to get that one for my husband but they said because no one ever sleeps with their mouth closed all night it wouldn't work. Which i feel is bull shit, considering people like your husband and my dad used them successfully, and i have encouraged him to go to a different dr but that's a 3 hours drive for us which means a full day off work. So he won't do it. Encouraging him to use it causes fights unfortunately.

You're right. That's complete bullshit. My husband got the type that just covers his nose. When he first got it he slept with his mouth open. What he did for the first few nights sleeping with the CPAP is he took a pair of socks and essentially tied his mouth shut (socks wrapping under his chin to on top of his head). It was a little weird but honestly it took less than a week and he was conditioned. He didn't need the ties anymore and now he's had his CPAP for over a decade and never has a problem with his mouth dropping open.

You put in a little short-term effort to condition yourself for greater long-term benefits.