BM is asking us to change our summer trip plans

Anonymous 1

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DH and I are taking the kids on a 4 week vacation. Custody is 50/50 but over the summer each parent has a 4 week chunk of custody time. We typically go on some type of trip for 2-3 weeks but this year DH was able to get the whole 4 weeks off. We are driving to go see his parents most of the time but also various other family members will be around.

BM knew the plans and had no issue with it at least that is what we thought. Last night she came over visually upset. She said she doesnt know if she can go that long without seeing the kids. She was crying saying that it is giving her anxiety and that going 3 weeks is hard enough on some of the other trips she doesnt think she can make it 4 weeks. The whole thing was a hot mess. I was trying to comfort her. DH really didnt even know what to say.

She was asking us to cut the trip short or at least drive back so she can see the kids one day. That really isnt a viable option. We have every day planned out. Other people have things planned out

I feel bad for BM because she clearly is having a hard time with this but I dont think we should change anything. DH was thinking maybe we figure out a way to fly her out there but I also think that is ridiculous. I mean I dont think anyone really likes being away from their kids that long but it isnt the end of the world. It isnt like we are going for 4 months or something. I wish I could just tell BM to get over herself but I would never do that. We actually get along almost all the time and even now it isnt like we are fighting. She is just sad and freaking out a little.

I hope she comes to terms with it for her sake.
Anonymous 2

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You have a lot of trouble with baby mamas.
Anonymous 3

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How old are these kids? She may have to survive with FaceTime for the trip. Sometimes doing what's best for our kids isn't easy and she's just going to have to understand that.
Anonymous 4

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More of this? Just stop. It’s pathetic.
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I would do everything we can to help her feel more comfortable, but I wouldn’t cancel the trip or end it early. If you normally go away 2-3 weeks, one extra week isn’t completely unreasonable. I am completely sympathetic of how hard it would be to be away from your kids for a month, but that comes with sharing custody. I would tell her that she can FaceTime them every night, we can have them send her letters and pictures, and if she wants to she can come fly out and visit.
Anonymous 5

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BM has the final say her kids not yours.
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If this was back in my day when we didn’t have internet and iPhones when you had to mail a postcard while traveling… I could understand. But with technology-FaceTime, zoom, all the social sites to post videos mom should be able to go 4 weeks without kids right by her side.
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Anonymous 5 wrote: Sun Aug 07, 2022 3:38 pm BM has the final say her kids not yours.
They are equally their fathers kids and it’s his custody time, so it’s his final day.
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Anonymous 5 wrote: Sun Aug 07, 2022 3:38 pm BM has the final say her kids not yours.
As others mentioned it’s also Dad’s kids and his time. Now she might complain if he’s going out of state but otherwise his decision. And unless she has reason to think he’s going to kidnap the kids I doubt the courts will care. That’s assuming this is real which I doubt.
Anonymous 6

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What did she do with her 4 weeks?
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