MIL is having a tantrum because some of my kids can't make it to her birthday party

[Anonymous 9]

Family comes first. Sorry none of those excuses are valid. I don't blame Gma for being upset.

It's a birthday party not some huge important thing. It's okay if my kids have other responsibilities. It doesn't mean they don't value family.

It IS important. It's important to HER. If you'd raised your children correctly, they'd realize that sometimes you put the people you love ahead of your own desires to make them happy. Grandma only has so many birthdays left and you don't get the time back.

[Anonymous 9]

What are the others doing on the day of the party? Does she have a party ever year?

Yes she does. One is working. One has tryouts and one will be out of state.

I can understand the tryout situation but I’m sure the other could have requested the day off or a different shift. My mom is 81 so the older she gets the more important bday celebrations become… I always tell my kid in advance so she can adjust her schedule.

If the kids don’t make it it won’t be the end of the world.

How is she fairing these days? Stable I hope?

[Anonymous 9]

How old is MIL turning and is there still a FIL? How is her overall health.... physically and mentally?

I'm not sure how this is relevant but She is going to be 61. Yes there is still a FIL. Both are in good health.

She's going to be 61 with a 25 yo grandchild?

Do I hear banjos?

[Anonymous 2]

She's going to be 61 with a 25 yo grandchild?

Right. That means she became a grandma at age 36. OP how old were you and your DH when you had your first child? This is starting to stink...

Dh was 20 when we had our oldest. I was 22.

Not sure how any of this stinks besides MILs attitude.

He's 45 with a 61 yo mom?

[Anonymous 7]

It's a birthday party not some huge important thing. It's okay if my kids have other responsibilities. It doesn't mean they don't value family.

It is ok that your kids have other responsibilities. But you failed that teaching them how to be responsible.

The kid that works could of switched with someone.

The kid with the trip either doesn't go or moves the trip. What kind of parent let's a teen go away with a boyfriend.....again you fail.

The kid with a try outs and can talk to the coach. Maybe the coach would let him skip. If he misses a season it's not the big of a deal.

None of that is something possible. You sound actually crazy.

DD is 18 and lives on her own. She is free to take a trip with her boyfriend as an adult who supports herself.

How is switching shifts not possible?
How is miss try outs not possible?

18 is not old enough to be in an adult relationship....
Your kids are putting jobs, sports,and boyfriends over family.

How can you not see that as a mom fail? I would be so embarrassed if.my kids did that.

[Anonymous 4]

These things were scheduled before she set a date. Again it's okay if they have their own things going on.

The one moving out of state is attending but this will probably be the last birthday she goes to.

We all care about each other and love each other. Not going to a birthday party doesn't change that.

And again these things could have been scheduled around the party had they asked her when she was planning on doing it which would have forced her to set a date sooner.

Yeah that's just not how any of it works.

Yea that is just how it works.

[Anonymous 1]

It is ok that your kids have other responsibilities. But you failed that teaching them how to be responsible.

The kid that works could of switched with someone.

The kid with the trip either doesn't go or moves the trip. What kind of parent let's a teen go away with a boyfriend.....again you fail.

The kid with a try outs and can talk to the coach. Maybe the coach would let him skip. If he misses a season it's not the big of a deal.

None of that is something possible. You sound actually crazy.

DD is 18 and lives on her own. She is free to take a trip with her boyfriend as an adult who supports herself.

How is switching shifts not possible?
How is miss try outs not possible?

18 is not old enough to be in an adult relationship....
Your kids are putting jobs, sports,and boyfriends over family.

How can you not see that as a mom fail? I would be so embarrassed if.my kids did that.

It's his weekend to work. Missing out on sports for a year is not a reasonable expectation or something I would never try to force my kid to do. You are free to your opinions but my daughter lives on her own and I don't have control over her choices. I however see nothing wrong with her going on a trip she has had planned for a long time. It's great that she is traveling.

[Inmybizz]

Yes she does. One is working. One has tryouts and one will be out of state.

I can understand the tryout situation but I’m sure the other could have requested the day off or a different shift. My mom is 81 so the older she gets the more important bday celebrations become… I always tell my kid in advance so she can adjust her schedule.

If the kids don’t make it it won’t be the end of the world.

How is she fairing these days? Stable I hope?

Physically she’s doing well.. mentally it’s tough. The dementia has progressed, sometimes she knows me and sometimes she doesn’t know who I am. I think that’s the hardest part for me.
My poodle has gained 3 pounds and is now considered overweight(.according to the vet.) My mother thinks he’s a little black boy she needs to feed( he’s a small black dog).She hallucinates… 🫤

Thanks for asking about her..

[Anonymous 7]

None of that is something possible. You sound actually crazy.

DD is 18 and lives on her own. She is free to take a trip with her boyfriend as an adult who supports herself.

How is switching shifts not possible?
How is miss try outs not possible?

18 is not old enough to be in an adult relationship....
Your kids are putting jobs, sports,and boyfriends over family.

How can you not see that as a mom fail? I would be so embarrassed if.my kids did that.

It's his weekend to work. Missing out on sports for a year is not a reasonable expectation or something I would never try to force my kid to do. You are free to your opinions but my daughter lives on her own and I don't have control over her choices. I however see nothing wrong with her going on a trip she has had planned for a long time. It's great that she is traveling.

Again he could of switched weekends.
Sports are not life.......family is
Traveling is good but doing it at 18 with a boyfriend is wrong......


How can you see that you fail as a parent?

[mcginnisc]

It is ok that your kids have other responsibilities. But you failed that teaching them how to be responsible.

The kid that works could of switched with someone.

The kid with the trip either doesn't go or moves the trip. What kind of parent let's a teen go away with a boyfriend.....again you fail.

The kid with a try outs and can talk to the coach. Maybe the coach would let him skip. If he misses a season it's not the big of a deal.

None of that is something possible. You sound actually crazy.

DD is 18 and lives on her own. She is free to take a trip with her boyfriend as an adult who supports herself.

How is switching shifts not possible?
How is miss try outs not possible?

18 is not old enough to be in an adult relationship....
Your kids are putting jobs, sports,and boyfriends over family.

How can you not see that as a mom fail? I would be so embarrassed if.my kids did that.

Stop being so sanctimonious.
Most teens have a schedule that is difficult to get off these days retail/fast food..it depends on the job.
You do realize that schools hold sports/ music/theatre tryouts at certain times and if you don't go, you have no shot of getting on the team/ cast,etc..
You really think 18 is too young for a relationship? I've been with my husband since we were 16 and are 47 now. Give me a break.
There is no reason for embarrassment. The MIL is being a drama queen over something she throws for herself every year. I wouldn't go wither if ahe was going to be a twit over it.