MIL is having a tantrum because some of my kids can't make it to her birthday party

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AZOldCoot
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:00 am
AZOldCoot wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 9:52 am How old is MIL turning and is there still a FIL? How is her overall health.... physically and mentally?
I'm not sure how this is relevant but She is going to be 61. Yes there is still a FIL. Both are in good health.
If she were to have physical or mental health issues, it could explain her reaction to your kid's not going to her birthday party.
If FIL was no longer in her life for one reason or another, she could be simply lonely and wanting others around her.

That's why I asked those particular questions.
I come here to give my opinion; not try to validate it. I come to converse and not to debate.
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MonarchMom
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Whenever I read these type of posts I make a mental note: don't become selfish and demanding as your get older. The surest way to push away your children and grandchildren is to act as if your life is more important than theirs.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 3 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:17 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:14 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:00 am
I'm not sure how this is relevant but She is going to be 61. Yes there is still a FIL. Both are in good health.
She's going to be 61 with a 25 yo grandchild?
Right. That means she became a grandma at age 36. OP how old were you and your DH when you had your first child? This is starting to stink...
Dh was 20 when we had our oldest. I was 22.

Not sure how any of this stinks besides MILs attitude.
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Inmybizz
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 8:06 am
Inmybizz wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 7:42 am What are the others doing on the day of the party? Does she have a party ever year?
Yes she does. One is working. One has tryouts and one will be out of state.
I can understand the tryout situation but I’m sure the other could have requested the day off or a different shift. My mom is 81 so the older she gets the more important bday celebrations become… I always tell my kid in advance so she can adjust her schedule.

If the kids don’t make it it won’t be the end of the world.
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MonarchMom
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:59 am
Anonymous 3 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:17 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:14 am

She's going to be 61 with a 25 yo grandchild?
Right. That means she became a grandma at age 36. OP how old were you and your DH when you had your first child? This is starting to stink...
Dh was 20 when we had our oldest. I was 22.

Not sure how any of this stinks besides MILs attitude.
I don't follow why the ages matter either... lot's of people have children in their teens. Now if MIL was having her 100th birthday - or even her 90th birthday - that might be a milestone you would want all the family to attend. But at 61 seems a bit melodramatic to insist everyone must be present.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 8:06 am
Inmybizz wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 7:42 am What are the others doing on the day of the party? Does she have a party ever year?
Yes she does. One is working. One has tryouts and one will be out of state.
So this is an every year thing and yet your kids still planned other things? The one right request off? The other one couldn't plan their trip for a different time? Why can't the one who has tryouts come after?
Anonymous 4

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Anonymous 3 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:17 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:14 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:00 am
I'm not sure how this is relevant but She is going to be 61. Yes there is still a FIL. Both are in good health.
She's going to be 61 with a 25 yo grandchild?
Right. That means she became a grandma at age 36. OP how old were you and your DH when you had your first child? This is starting to stink...
I'm about to be 36 next year and my oldest will be 16 in Nov... At 36 i could very well be a gma. When i was about 10 or so i had a friend who's gma was 45.
Anonymous 5

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I'm so glad that my mom understood that the older her grandchildren got, the less they would be willing to just go hang out at gramma's house or attend every family gathering. She kept an open, standing offer of dinner or lunch out with them once a month to keep in touch & bonded. Now that they are in their late 20's, they call her up to do something with her on their own. She gave them to room to be teenagers/young adults with other things going on without making them pay court to her all the time.
Anonymous 3

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Anonymous 4 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 11:15 am
Anonymous 3 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:17 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:14 am

She's going to be 61 with a 25 yo grandchild?
Right. That means she became a grandma at age 36. OP how old were you and your DH when you had your first child? This is starting to stink...
I'm about to be 36 next year and my oldest will be 16 in Nov... At 36 i could very well be a gma. When i was about 10 or so i had a friend who's gma was 45.
LOL thank you for proving my point. Of course anyone that has a teen can become a grandma. But, you're not one. And being 45 is more reasonable than becoming a grandma at 36. If you are a grandma at age 36 you have majorly failed.
Anonymous 6

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I would be finding myself busy the day of the party. I don't do well with people acting entitled. If it was a big parry (50, 60,70...) I could see being upset. But it's not and people have lives that don't revolve around one person.

I am so thankful my parents are happy when they get to see their kids and grandkids. It's never a guilt trip.
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