MIL is having a tantrum because some of my kids can't make it to her birthday party

[Anonymous 10]

Recycled post

[Vegaswife2011]

Family comes first. Sorry none of those excuses are valid. I don't blame Gma for being upset.

It's a birthday party not some huge important thing. It's okay if my kids have other responsibilities. It doesn't mean they don't value family.

It is ok that your kids have other responsibilities. But you failed that teaching them how to be responsible.

The kid that works could of switched with someone.

The kid with the trip either doesn't go or moves the trip. What kind of parent let's a teen go away with a boyfriend.....again you fail.

The kid with a try outs and can talk to the coach. Maybe the coach would let him skip. If he misses a season it's not the big of a deal.

Lol, you’re ridiculous.

[Vegaswife2011]

I can understand the tryout situation but I’m sure the other could have requested the day off or a different shift. My mom is 81 so the older she gets the more important bday celebrations become… I always tell my kid in advance so she can adjust her schedule.

If the kids don’t make it it won’t be the end of the world.

How is she fairing these days? Stable I hope?

Physically she’s doing well.. mentally it’s tough. The dementia has progressed, sometimes she knows me and sometimes she doesn’t know who I am. I think that’s the hardest part for me.
My poodle has gained 3 pounds and is now considered overweight(.according to the vet.) My mother thinks he’s a little black boy she needs to feed( he’s a small black dog).She hallucinates… 🫤

Thanks for asking about her..

Hugs.

[Traci_Momof2]

I'll tell you what. I never attended any of my grandparents birthday parties unless they were a big number birthday. I spent a lot of my childhood living states away from my grandparents so yeah. And my one grandmother had 32 of us grandchildren, not counting great or great-great, so even on the big number birthdays she didn't have every single grandchild there. There's no way to sync that many schedules.

And now my kids live states away from their grandparents and so don't attend birthday celebrations unless we happen to be around.

So based on my own life experience, your MIL is being selfish and irrational.

[Anonymous 9]

I can understand the tryout situation but I’m sure the other could have requested the day off or a different shift. My mom is 81 so the older she gets the more important bday celebrations become… I always tell my kid in advance so she can adjust her schedule.

If the kids don’t make it it won’t be the end of the world.

How is she fairing these days? Stable I hope?

Physically she’s doing well.. mentally it’s tough. The dementia has progressed, sometimes she knows me and sometimes she doesn’t know who I am. I think that’s the hardest part for me.
My poodle has gained 3 pounds and is now considered overweight(.according to the vet.) My mother thinks he’s a little black boy she needs to feed( he’s a small black dog).She hallucinates… 🫤

Thanks for asking about her..

Big hugs to you. Hard isn't even the word for this.

[highlandmum]

How is switching shifts not possible?
How is miss try outs not possible?

18 is not old enough to be in an adult relationship....
Your kids are putting jobs, sports,and boyfriends over family.

How can you not see that as a mom fail? I would be so embarrassed if.my kids did that.

It's his weekend to work. Missing out on sports for a year is not a reasonable expectation or something I would never try to force my kid to do. You are free to your opinions but my daughter lives on her own and I don't have control over her choices. I however see nothing wrong with her going on a trip she has had planned for a long time. It's great that she is traveling.

Again he could of switched weekends.
Sports are not life.......family is
Traveling is good but doing it at 18 with a boyfriend is wrong......


How can you see that you fail as a parent?

Yeah, miss a full year of sports just so they can attend one party. Depending on the age and level of the child this could result in them never playing at that level again, and costing them scholarships and such.

OP would your MIL be up for other suggestions, like your children picking her up and going out to dinner? Or even going over to her house after the party? Talk to her and see if something can be worked out. I understand as I have a son who plays sports and a daughter who works most weekends.

[RIZZY1]

I don't think she should be mean and nasty about it, regardless of the situation. That seems pretty obvious.

If this is a milestone birthday, honestly? You all should have planned something far out in advance and everyone should have made sure they were available.

If this is not a milestone birthday and she planned it last minute, then she just has to be understanding that life happens.

[Momto2boys973]

Well, I feel for her. Sometimes people disguise their sadness and disappointment behind anger. Common defense mechanism. I would explain that to my kids before they decide to just shove her off and not to say anything with her at another time.
But yeah, sometimes life happens and that’s that. Personally, I wouldn’t be too quick to just dismiss grandma’s feelings and not encourage my kids to seek alternatives. If after that it was still impossible, then at least they tried.