BM is gonna have to find other child care

Anonymous 1

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My step kids usually stay at our house during the day in the summer. BM works an hour away and I have been working at home and have had the ability to work on my own schedule.

Things have changed at work and now I have to work on a set schedule. Some of the days I am going to have to go into the office. The step kids are out of school for another month. My older DD will be able to watch them on our weeks but she can't on BMs weeks. I told BM as soon as I found out which was without a lot of warning.

She is upset because she has no idea what she is going to do. DH suggested that the kids could go to his mom's during the day but BM and MIL do not get along so she doesn't want that.

She is also worried about during the school year because the kids get off the bus and come to our house until she can pick them up (they have no bus service to her house because she lives in a different district)

The school has a before/after school program. It will be about $18 a day for both kids. Today she said I should have to pay it because I am the one changing things. I was trying to be as kind as possible (I always try to be civil with her) but I was pissed at this point. I told her that I was nice enough to watch the kids on her time. I don't have to do it but I love them and spending time with them so I did. It wasnt always easy for me and I was not going to feel guilty for her having to figure things out and then I hung up.

I would have liked to give her more advanced notice but I told her as soon as I knew. I know she is talking shit about me now. I just wanted to vent. This is what I get for helping her out. Ugh. She knew my work schedule could change. This was never supposed to be a permanent thing. I have helped her a lot and it's just coming back to bite me.
Anonymous 2

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How old are the kids? And why can’t your dd watch them on bms weeks?
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 2 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:11 pm How old are the kids? And why can’t your dd watch them on bms weeks?
DD is at her dad's house on those weeks. My step kids are 7 and 8.
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Baconqueen13
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Yes it is BM's job to find care for her kids on her time and it no longer works for you. I'm just not sure why it's needed at all. At 7 and 8 the kids are more than capable of minding themselves for a couple hours after school each day. If they can't go to BM's house I don't see why they can't stay at yours while you are in the home office working. Or even if you have to go in to a corporate building. Give the kids a set of keys to let themselves in and establish a routine for what to do when home alone until a parent arrives. Have a trusted neighbor check in on them the times you are at the main office. Then again I was a latchkey kid from the 90's.
Anonymous 1

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Baconqueen13 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:22 pm Yes it is BM's job to find care for her kids on her time and it no longer works for you. I'm just not sure why it's needed at all. At 7 and 8 the kids are more than capable of minding themselves for a couple hours after school each day. If they can't go to BM's house I don't see why they can't stay at yours while you are in the home office working. Or even if you have to go in to a corporate building. Give the kids a set of keys to let themselves in and establish a routine for what to do when home alone until a parent arrives. Have a trusted neighbor check in on them the times you are at the main office. Then again I was a latchkey kid from the 90's.
I would be okay with that but BM doesn't want them coming to the house if no one is there to watch them.
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Baconqueen13
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:28 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:22 pm Yes it is BM's job to find care for her kids on her time and it no longer works for you. I'm just not sure why it's needed at all. At 7 and 8 the kids are more than capable of minding themselves for a couple hours after school each day. If they can't go to BM's house I don't see why they can't stay at yours while you are in the home office working. Or even if you have to go in to a corporate building. Give the kids a set of keys to let themselves in and establish a routine for what to do when home alone until a parent arrives. Have a trusted neighbor check in on them the times you are at the main office. Then again I was a latchkey kid from the 90's.
I would be okay with that but BM doesn't want them coming to the house if no one is there to watch them.
Well then I guess she'll just have to deal with paying for after school care
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AZOldCoot
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She's known that this was coming just not WHEN it was happening.

Honestly, as someone (me) who's practically OCD about planning.... including always having a plan B if plan A fails....this was BM'S responsibility to have someone waiting in the wings for child care.
I come here to give my opinion; not try to validate it. I come to converse and not to debate.
Anonymous 3

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How old are your younger kids and what kind of after school childcare do they have?
Anonymous 4

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Why on earth would you marry somebody with such young children and you have to deal with this. Why? Especially if your kid is old enough now to watch herself. I feel sorry for you. You have a long way to go.
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Traci_Momof2
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:28 pm
Baconqueen13 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:22 pm Yes it is BM's job to find care for her kids on her time and it no longer works for you. I'm just not sure why it's needed at all. At 7 and 8 the kids are more than capable of minding themselves for a couple hours after school each day. If they can't go to BM's house I don't see why they can't stay at yours while you are in the home office working. Or even if you have to go in to a corporate building. Give the kids a set of keys to let themselves in and establish a routine for what to do when home alone until a parent arrives. Have a trusted neighbor check in on them the times you are at the main office. Then again I was a latchkey kid from the 90's.
I would be okay with that but BM doesn't want them coming to the house if no one is there to watch them.
I'm with Bacon. At those ages my kids were home alone for a bit between school and when I got home from work. If BM is not ok with that arrangement then it's just even more reason why it's her responsibility to figure something out.
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