My kids want to stop going to their grandparents house

[LuckyEightWow]

My own parents don't even see them for a full weekend a month. I don't know any other grandparents that do that every single month. It isn't like they won't ever see them again they just don't want it every month.

Then your parents are crappy grandparents. I have my grandkids multiple times a month and so does their other grandma. My best friend has her grandkids almost every weekend and she takes one kid at a time (sometimes) for up to a week (I’ll grant she’s a little extreme). Good grandparents are involved.

I don't think anyone is a crappy grandparent for not seeing their grand kids for a full weekend. My parents are involved and see them more days than their other grandparents. You don't seem very intelligent at all.

Okay.

[Pjmm]

I’ll just copy and paste cause it seems to apply to you also….

You read an awful lot into what I said when the very last sentence I wrote said ‘good grandparents are involved’. They can be involved and be far away, she can’t fathom grandparents wanting their grandkids (at least) once a month, then uses her own parents as a comparison. I gave examples (and so did another poster) of grandparents who are actively and regularly involved in their grandkids lives.

If that makes you feel insecure or as if I am being ‘holier than thou’, that’s not my problem. You wrote a whole lot to try and convince me about your childrens grandparents, when my statement says *involved* not there every single weekend.

I’m not sure I’d say someone who doesn’t want their grandkids over once a month are crappy. That’s what you seem to imply. They may work or perhaps they’re in ill health and realize they can’t handle it. Or they raised their own kids and now wish to travel. I do agree good grandparents are involved to the best of their ability. My grandparents were but they weren’t what I’d call demonstrative. They came across as standoffish. And that’s just their personality, the both of them. But if my brother or I needed anything they were there. I’d say be honest and do with your grandkids what you can handle.

You also infer much.

Okay well that’s just the way I took it. My apologies.

[hotspice58]

Thank you. I had one living grandmother when I was young. She lived out of state so we didn’t see her every month but all her grandkids adored her,

My own parents don't even see them for a full weekend a month. I don't know any other grandparents that do that every single month. It isn't like they won't ever see them again they just don't want it every month.

Then your parents are crappy grandparents. I have my grandkids multiple times a month and so does their other grandma. My best friend has her grandkids almost every weekend and she takes one kid at a time (sometimes) for up to a week (I’ll grant she’s a little extreme). Good grandparents are involved.

Broad generalizations suck. My mother and my inlaws are fantastic grandparents. They also live out of state so they can't see them every weekend. You just want to be holier than thou and act like you are the perfect representation of a grandparent/ parent. It's bullcrap honestly.
I adored my maternal grandparents. My grandmother died when I was 13 and before that I only got to see them a few times a year since they lived out of state. Then, I was so busy with work and school as a teen, it was difficult to get the time to go see my grandfather much. He lived until I was 22.
Life happens. I would encourage my 12 year old to spend more time as you never know what tomorrow brings, but to say someone is a crappy grandparent because *you* disagree with the situation is unneccesarily mean. My mother and inlaws know that their grandchildren are growing up and busy so they understand. They have one that will be 20 next month that is in college, flying all the time to gain flight hours for her aviation program for college and working. El can't just drop everything to go visit. Neither can my girls that are still in high school. I have one that is taking three college courses this semester, attending homeschool co-op to finish out her four electives for her senior year and has a job. Her life basically is revolving around college applications right now as she will go to college next fall. My youngest is the least busy as she is 14 and a freshman. She has no job, but she can't drive..so, jumping up and heading to FL is not an option. We get them down there as much as we can and the grand come up here when they can, but my FIL works as does my mother..my MIL's mother is still living and in hospice so she has to be available almost 24/7 for her mother. Not everyone has the ability to spend days with grandparents often. So, drop the I'm perfect routine and dogging OP over this. You sound like a 12 year old mean girl instead of a grown woman with 8 kids and grandkids.

[cgd5112]

That’s ok re double reply. In your original post, it seemed like the kids just didn’t want to see them. Regardless, I see your point about spending a whole weekend. I also understand that the grans want to see their grandkids. With that in mind, maybe you can arrange for more than one visit. Maybe have the grans take them out to lunch, a movie one weekend and another time maybe invite the grans over to your place for a lunch, cookout, dinner, out for brunch, whatever. I think the grans just feel that if the kids don’t spent a weekend over, they’ll eventually lose seeing them altogether.

There isn't an official reason. I think they are just getting older and wanting to do their own thing more.

I find that strange and I think it would upset me just a tiny bit. Outside of abuse or neglect, family is important. My kids are really close with their grandparents. They are teens now and want to be more independent and spend more time with their friends. But they also love their grandparents. When they could no longer spend the night or spend weekends with their grandparents, we started making more frequent, short visits.

Unless grandparents are somehow abusive or just nasty people, I can't imagine a teenager just being like nope, I don't wanna see them anymore.

Family is important but so are other things for them. They can still spend time with their grandparents without it having to be for a full weekend.