My kids want to stop going to their grandparents house

Anonymous 1

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jas wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 3:18 pm Was it THIS weekend they were supposed to go? If that is the case I would be pissed off as well. I would make them go as it's rude as hell to cancel late notice "for no reason". And talk to them about cancelling NEXT month.
Yes but they have been talking to them about not wanting to go since last month.
Anonymous 1

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Wednesday afternoon and Sunday for lunch is very different than Friday after school until Monday morning.

They can still see their family without it being for a full weekend.
Momto2boys973 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 4:35 pm Then sorry, but you can indeed at least encourage them to go if they don’t have a good enough reason to be this selfish towards their grandparents. My kids fully know that every Wednesday afternoon is time to visit his grandparents from DHs side, and every Sunday is lunch with my parents. Of course, occasionally something significant may come up, but otherwise, they have to go.
Kids doing “their own thing” doesn’t mean neglecting things they should be doing for your family.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:18 am
RIZZY wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 10:58 am Why don't they want to go there?
There isn't an official reason. I think they are just getting older and wanting to do their own thing more.
Anonymous 1

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But the reality is it does put a dent in things. They have missed out on things over the years because of it. Now they are wanting to branch out more. DS has been thinking about joining a sports team even.
Momto2boys973 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 4:38 pm But if that has always been the case, then it should continue to be so. Especially if they have no valid reasons to hurt their grandparents like that. One weekend a month shouldn’t be that much of a dent in their wanting to do their own thing life.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:53 am
cgd5112 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:45 am They’re 12. That means they’re old enough to know that oftentimes, we all have to do things that are less preferred or not preferred at all. They are their grandparents. To say/imply they are outgoing their grandparents is wrong. The grans are not a phase in your kids’ lives that you just move on from.

A once a month visit is more than reasonable, and if you trust them with your kids ( since you let them sleep over) and the grans love your kids, then your kids should spend time with them. These are moments that will stay with them forever. The more people you have that love your kids the better. Encourage it.
They can still spend time with them without it being a full weekend.
Anonymous 1

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LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 1:25 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:42 am
LuckyEightWow wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:36 am Most involved grandparents get more then once a month.

My kids would be visiting their grandparents, unless there is a valid physical or emotional concern not to. If they have been good to the kids, and you’d have said they weren’t to begin with and not jumped to ‘of course I have the right, blah, blah, blah’. (classic troll move), they can go be decent little humans and visit with their grandparents one weekend a month.
My own parents don't even see them for a full weekend a month. I don't know any other grandparents that do that every single month. It isn't like they won't ever see them again they just don't want it every month.
Then your parents are crappy grandparents. I have my grandkids multiple times a month and so does their other grandma. My best friend has her grandkids almost every weekend and she takes one kid at a time (sometimes) for up to a week (I’ll grant she’s a little extreme). Good grandparents are involved.
I don't think anyone is a crappy grandparent for not seeing their grand kids for a full weekend. My parents are involved and see them more days than their other grandparents. You don't seem very intelligent at all.
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LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:22 am
Olioxenfree wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:26 am
LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 1:25 am

Then your parents are crappy grandparents. I have my grandkids multiple times a month and so does their other grandma. My best friend has her grandkids almost every weekend and she takes one kid at a time (sometimes) for up to a week (I’ll grant she’s a little extreme). Good grandparents are involved.
That’s a very broad generalization to make. Not everyone lives close enough to allow weekly visits to happen. My parents live eight hours away, that doesn’t mean they are crappy or not involved.
I’ll just copy and paste cause it seems to apply to you also….

You read an awful lot into what I said when the very last sentence I wrote said ‘good grandparents are involved’. They can be involved and be far away, she can’t fathom grandparents wanting their grandkids (at least) once a month, then uses her own parents as a comparison. I gave examples (and so did another poster) of grandparents who are actively and regularly involved in their grandkids lives.

If that makes you feel insecure or as if I am being ‘holier than thou’, that’s not my problem. You wrote a whole lot to try and convince me about your childrens grandparents, when my statement says *involved* not there every single weekend.
I’m not sure I’d say someone who doesn’t want their grandkids over once a month are crappy. That’s what you seem to imply. They may work or perhaps they’re in ill health and realize they can’t handle it. Or they raised their own kids and now wish to travel. I do agree good grandparents are involved to the best of their ability. My grandparents were but they weren’t what I’d call demonstrative. They came across as standoffish. And that’s just their personality, the both of them. But if my brother or I needed anything they were there. I’d say be honest and do with your grandkids what you can handle.
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LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:20 am
mcginnisc wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:15 am
LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 1:25 am

Then your parents are crappy grandparents. I have my grandkids multiple times a month and so does their other grandma. My best friend has her grandkids almost every weekend and she takes one kid at a time (sometimes) for up to a week (I’ll grant she’s a little extreme). Good grandparents are involved.
Broad generalizations suck. My mother and my inlaws are fantastic grandparents. They also live out of state so they can't see them every weekend. You just want to be holier than thou and act like you are the perfect representation of a grandparent/ parent. It's bullcrap honestly.
I adored my maternal grandparents. My grandmother died when I was 13 and before that I only got to see them a few times a year since they lived out of state. Then, I was so busy with work and school as a teen, it was difficult to get the time to go see my grandfather much. He lived until I was 22.
Life happens. I would encourage my 12 year old to spend more time as you never know what tomorrow brings, but to say someone is a crappy grandparent because *you* disagree with the situation is unneccesarily mean. My mother and inlaws know that their grandchildren are growing up and busy so they understand. They have one that will be 20 next month that is in college, flying all the time to gain flight hours for her aviation program for college and working. El can't just drop everything to go visit. Neither can my girls that are still in high school. I have one that is taking three college courses this semester, attending homeschool co-op to finish out her four electives for her senior year and has a job. Her life basically is revolving around college applications right now as she will go to college next fall. My youngest is the least busy as she is 14 and a freshman. She has no job, but she can't drive..so, jumping up and heading to FL is not an option. We get them down there as much as we can and the grand come up here when they can, but my FIL works as does my mother..my MIL's mother is still living and in hospice so she has to be available almost 24/7 for her mother. Not everyone has the ability to spend days with grandparents often. So, drop the I'm perfect routine and dogging OP over this. You sound like a 12 year old mean girl instead of a grown woman with 8 kids and grandkids.
You read an awful lot into what I said when the very last sentence I wrote said ‘good grandparents are involved’. They can be involved and be far away, she can’t fathom grandparents wanting their grandkids (at least) once a month, then uses her own parents as a comparison. I gave examples (and so did another poster) of grandparents who are actively and regularly involved in their grandkids lives.

If that makes you feel insecure or as if I am being ‘holier than thou’, that’s not my problem. You wrote a whole lot to try and convince me about your childrens grandparents, when my statement says *involved* not there every single weekend.
Nah..you sound like a 12 year old mean girl quite often. You made a broad generalization so own it. Don't try and back pedal. Own your comments. I swear.. the woman on this site are so much worse than any teen girl that I know. The immaturity is astounding.
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LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 1:25 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:42 am
LuckyEightWow wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:36 am Most involved grandparents get more then once a month.

My kids would be visiting their grandparents, unless there is a valid physical or emotional concern not to. If they have been good to the kids, and you’d have said they weren’t to begin with and not jumped to ‘of course I have the right, blah, blah, blah’. (classic troll move), they can go be decent little humans and visit with their grandparents one weekend a month.
My own parents don't even see them for a full weekend a month. I don't know any other grandparents that do that every single month. It isn't like they won't ever see them again they just don't want it every month.
Then your parents are crappy grandparents. I have my grandkids multiple times a month and so does their other grandma. My best friend has her grandkids almost every weekend and she takes one kid at a time (sometimes) for up to a week (I’ll grant she’s a little extreme). Good grandparents are involved.
Why do your children need so much help from you and the other grandparents? What’s going on there?
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mcginnisc wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:19 pm
LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:20 am
mcginnisc wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:15 am

Broad generalizations suck. My mother and my inlaws are fantastic grandparents. They also live out of state so they can't see them every weekend. You just want to be holier than thou and act like you are the perfect representation of a grandparent/ parent. It's bullcrap honestly.
I adored my maternal grandparents. My grandmother died when I was 13 and before that I only got to see them a few times a year since they lived out of state. Then, I was so busy with work and school as a teen, it was difficult to get the time to go see my grandfather much. He lived until I was 22.
Life happens. I would encourage my 12 year old to spend more time as you never know what tomorrow brings, but to say someone is a crappy grandparent because *you* disagree with the situation is unneccesarily mean. My mother and inlaws know that their grandchildren are growing up and busy so they understand. They have one that will be 20 next month that is in college, flying all the time to gain flight hours for her aviation program for college and working. El can't just drop everything to go visit. Neither can my girls that are still in high school. I have one that is taking three college courses this semester, attending homeschool co-op to finish out her four electives for her senior year and has a job. Her life basically is revolving around college applications right now as she will go to college next fall. My youngest is the least busy as she is 14 and a freshman. She has no job, but she can't drive..so, jumping up and heading to FL is not an option. We get them down there as much as we can and the grand come up here when they can, but my FIL works as does my mother..my MIL's mother is still living and in hospice so she has to be available almost 24/7 for her mother. Not everyone has the ability to spend days with grandparents often. So, drop the I'm perfect routine and dogging OP over this. You sound like a 12 year old mean girl instead of a grown woman with 8 kids and grandkids.
You read an awful lot into what I said when the very last sentence I wrote said ‘good grandparents are involved’. They can be involved and be far away, she can’t fathom grandparents wanting their grandkids (at least) once a month, then uses her own parents as a comparison. I gave examples (and so did another poster) of grandparents who are actively and regularly involved in their grandkids lives.

If that makes you feel insecure or as if I am being ‘holier than thou’, that’s not my problem. You wrote a whole lot to try and convince me about your childrens grandparents, when my statement says *involved* not there every single weekend.
Nah..you sound like a 12 year old mean girl quite often. You made a broad generalization so own it. Don't try and back pedal. Own your comments. I swear.. the woman on this site are so much worse than any teen girl that I know. The immaturity is astounding.

I rarely comment and I sound like a mean girl ‘quite often’ that’s comical. Nothing I said was mean, please point out what I said was ‘mean’ girl mentality. I can’t with you, you’re the one insulting and I’m the mean girl. Thaanks for the laugh!
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Anonymous 6 wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:22 pm
LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 1:25 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:42 am

My own parents don't even see them for a full weekend a month. I don't know any other grandparents that do that every single month. It isn't like they won't ever see them again they just don't want it every month.
Then your parents are crappy grandparents. I have my grandkids multiple times a month and so does their other grandma. My best friend has her grandkids almost every weekend and she takes one kid at a time (sometimes) for up to a week (I’ll grant she’s a little extreme). Good grandparents are involved.
Why do your children need so much help from you and the other grandparents? What’s going on there?
Wanting to spend time with our grandkids means the parents need help?! Hahahahahahahahaha! Good one!
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Pjmm wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:13 pm
LuckyEightWow wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:22 am
Olioxenfree wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:26 am

That’s a very broad generalization to make. Not everyone lives close enough to allow weekly visits to happen. My parents live eight hours away, that doesn’t mean they are crappy or not involved.
I’ll just copy and paste cause it seems to apply to you also….

You read an awful lot into what I said when the very last sentence I wrote said ‘good grandparents are involved’. They can be involved and be far away, she can’t fathom grandparents wanting their grandkids (at least) once a month, then uses her own parents as a comparison. I gave examples (and so did another poster) of grandparents who are actively and regularly involved in their grandkids lives.

If that makes you feel insecure or as if I am being ‘holier than thou’, that’s not my problem. You wrote a whole lot to try and convince me about your childrens grandparents, when my statement says *involved* not there every single weekend.
I’m not sure I’d say someone who doesn’t want their grandkids over once a month are crappy. That’s what you seem to imply. They may work or perhaps they’re in ill health and realize they can’t handle it. Or they raised their own kids and now wish to travel. I do agree good grandparents are involved to the best of their ability. My grandparents were but they weren’t what I’d call demonstrative. They came across as standoffish. And that’s just their personality, the both of them. But if my brother or I needed anything they were there. I’d say be honest and do with your grandkids what you can handle.
You also infer much.
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