I told DH if he moves to night shift I will be done

Anonymous 1

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My husband worked from 10 pm to 10 am for a couple years. It was horrible. It nearly ended our marriage. He was sleep deprived all the time, he started drinking too much, he wasnt there for me or the kids, just so many problems. He cant seem to ever fall asleep during the day. Even with a sound machine and us being as quiet as possible he would get woken up by anything IF he managed to fall asleep at all.

We went to marriage counseling. The counselor saw what the main issue was- Dh's job- and Dh started looking for another job. Luckily he found one. After a year or so of marriage counseling and working things out we finally got back into a good place

Well he just told me that his company is offering a $20,000 raise if he takes the night manager position. He wants to do it. I tried talking to him about it and how the money isnt worth it and to remember what it did to us last time. He said that we are stronger now and we can handle it. I told him that I wasnt okay with this. That I dont think we could handle what I know what will happen. Just because our marriage is stronger doesnt mean that he will be able to sleep during the day. I told him that if he takes the job I am done. I will not deal with it all over again. He is a whole different person when he is sleep deprived and he will be sleep deprived if he takes this job and/or just start drinking too much so he passes out like last time.

I know the extra money sounds nice but I would rather get a second job for extra money (which we dont need anyway) than have him working nights. I wont go through all of that again.
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Can’t say I blame you. If you’re a sahm perhaps you can offer to work part time for extra money. I see you mentioned that. If not maybe he can look for a better hiring gig.
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LiveWhatULove
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I don’t blame you — unless food or shelter were in jeopardy, no amount of money would be worth it to me.

Night shift is brutal, and for majority of humans, they have a severe decrease in their quality of lives, die years earlier & suffer more cancers & chronic disease as they age. I understand we need workers for night shift, but I wish as a society, we would at least acknowledge the brutal truth…
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mater-three
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I know exactly how you feel. Night shift almost broke up my marriage as well.
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RIZZY
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The way I see it, if he takes the job, it will affect you whether you are divorced or not.
Anonymous 2

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I refuse to work 3rd shift I don't care how much money I am being offered.
Anonymous 3

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You make all the sense in the world. I see where he's coming from. Providing well for the family gives a man a sense of pride. I get that. But-You've been there and done that with the nights before, and this will only just set you guys back. Good luck with this. I hope he comes around.
Anonymous 4

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So you think he's made no growth over the years and they year or so of therapy? You aren't even willing to be open minded and give it a chance? Seems you are just looking for a reason to leave. Good luck to y'all.
Anonymous 5

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I'm sorry you guys aren't on the same page, and I hope you can come to an agreement. Headhunters are always trying to recruit DH and although the extra money does sound great (he could start at 60% more than he's currently making), the potential stress of the industries trying to recruit him just aren't worth the reduction in quality of life. I'm not sure how I would handle it if we disagreed on the subject.
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I completely understand and do not blame you. Good luck.
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