My ex is against DD17s SO moving in

[Anonymous 1]

I guess her parents are on board with this move. I would encourage my kid to finish high school before moving in with someone. Senior year will be stressful enough without adding a live in relationship.

She has been trying to find other places to live and so far there is nothing. Her other plan is to live in her car which is not something I want happening.

Why can’t she live with her parents/guardian? Did she get kicked out?

They are moving and she can't go with them.

[Momto2boys973]

Why not?

She has been trying to find other places to live and so far there is nothing. Her other plan is to live in her car which is not something I want happening.

Why can’t she live with her parents/guardian? Did she get kicked out?

They are moving and she can't go with them.

[Anonymous 4]

I've been in a similar situation, with friends rather than lovers. It's a VERY sticky situation. It doesn't matter how much you adore this child, there is a ton to take into consideration. Is a 17 year old considered an adult in your state? If not, will the parents be filling out affidavits of bona fide residence and power of attorney so that you can register the child in school for their senior year? (In my area, you "register" every year, just basically verifying that no other information is changing, however, if the report cards are returned because they no longer live at that house, the school will find out they no longer live there). Who will be responsible for communication between the school and the caregivers? Will you be gaining custody? Will there be child support order in place? What about a rental agreement? How are you going to be handling visitation with the parents? How will you handle allegations of abuse or mistreatment from the parents? Will there be a timeline in place for moving out? What happens if the child decides they want to stay indefinitely?

I don't think letting them move in without any documentation or written agreements in place is a good idea. Anything could happen. We let the child move in and deeply regretted it.

[Momto2boys973]

OK.

Reevaluate how? Does that mean you would kick her out, wish her all the best and forget about it?
You see, this isn’t the kind of thing when you’ll cross the bridge when you get to it. You’re taking in a teenage girl, with so much potential for disaster, seeing as she’s emotionally involved with your kid. And apparently other issues as well if she “can’t” move with her parents for some obscure reason, but they’re still set on going. You’re not talking about a lost puppy here. This is a child, and you’re being shoved that responsibility with probably no rights to do so. What will you do if she needs serious medical care? Or gets into a car accident? You just don’t wing these things. If you take that kid in, you won’t be able to reevaluate the situation if things go bad, you’ll be stuck with the situation at the expense of your daughter’s emotional well being.
So if you’re thinking that everything will be oh-so peachy, but in the case it’s not, oh well, you’ll see…. Don’t. Reevaluate what you’re about to do NOW. Not when you’re out of options.

It was very much mentioned in the OP. Go back where I mentioned how SO just got elected class president and how SHE, as in female, is on track to become valedictorian.

If something goes wrong we will reevaluate.

Oh, of course here comes the convenient “fact” not mentioned in the OP. And in fact, most cleverly disguised to be able to spring that after a few comments as if that makes you more right.
Still team husband here. Teenage sexuality isn’t just about pregnancy, so I agree that regardless of gender or sexual orientation having two romantically involved teenagers living under the same roof is a bad idea all around. Too much hormones and emotional immaturity going around for that to end well.

The SO is a girl but I also wouldn't just throw her out either.

[Anonymous 1]

I guess her parents are on board with this move. I would encourage my kid to finish high school before moving in with someone. Senior year will be stressful enough without adding a live in relationship.

She has been trying to find other places to live and so far there is nothing. Her other plan is to live in her car which is not something I want happening.

Why can’t she live with her parents/guardian? Did she get kicked out?

They are moving to a 55+ community.

[Anonymous 1]

Her parents have always sucked. They feel that since she is so close to being 18 that there is no reason for them to wait to move. She can't live where they are moving because it is 55+.

So what are the issues with the parents?
Because I couldn’t imagine just leaving my 17 year old to just find a place to live because I’m leaving. My kid would be coming with me if I had to move.

I guess her parents are on board with this move. I would encourage my kid to finish high school before moving in with someone. Senior year will be stressful enough without adding a live in relationship.

She has been trying to find other places to live and so far there is nothing. Her other plan is to live in her car which is not something I want happening.

[Kookookrazy]

You can set as many rules as you want at the end of the day just be comfortable with the fact that they will be having S*x under your roof...if youre okay with that than go for it but if you wanna be obtuse and think oh no we will have them separate and no hanky panky than youre living in a dreamland.Teens are very sneaky and crafty when my ex came over to stay overnights my family were none the wiser and we were having S*x in every room of that house any chance that we got and we never got caught in fact my mom thought i was a virgin until i popped up pregnant..

Good luck!

[Anonymous 1]

I've been in a similar situation, with friends rather than lovers. It's a VERY sticky situation. It doesn't matter how much you adore this child, there is a ton to take into consideration. Is a 17 year old considered an adult in your state? If not, will the parents be filling out affidavits of bona fide residence and power of attorney so that you can register the child in school for their senior year? (In my area, you "register" every year, just basically verifying that no other information is changing, however, if the report cards are returned because they no longer live at that house, the school will find out they no longer live there). Who will be responsible for communication between the school and the caregivers? Will you be gaining custody? Will there be child support order in place? What about a rental agreement? How are you going to be handling visitation with the parents? How will you handle allegations of abuse or mistreatment from the parents? Will there be a timeline in place for moving out? What happens if the child decides they want to stay indefinitely?

I don't think letting them move in without any documentation or written agreements in place is a good idea. Anything could happen. We let the child move in and deeply regretted it.

We aren't doing anything legally. To take it to court would be longer than her just turning 18. Her parents don't care about anything at this point and have not been helpful.

[Momto2boys973]

Which again raises the question as to their relationship and why it’s so screwed up.
What parent would just abandon their kid to figure out where to live just because they want to?
That doesn’t sound like a kid without some serious family problems.
Seriously? It’s sounding more and more disturbing with each post of yours. No legal protection either to her or you, being in a romantic relationship with your teenage daughter and apparently not having any possibility of parental support?
Good luck…..

She has been trying to find other places to live and so far there is nothing. Her other plan is to live in her car which is not something I want happening.

Why can’t she live with her parents/guardian? Did she get kicked out?

They are moving to a 55+ community.

[Anonymous 1]

I would never just kick her out without having a back up plan. Worst case we help her move into an apartment.

I am doing the best I can and I am doing what I feel is best. It's not better for her to live in a car.

OK.

Reevaluate how? Does that mean you would kick her out, wish her all the best and forget about it?
You see, this isn’t the kind of thing when you’ll cross the bridge when you get to it. You’re taking in a teenage girl, with so much potential for disaster, seeing as she’s emotionally involved with your kid. And apparently other issues as well if she “can’t” move with her parents for some obscure reason, but they’re still set on going. You’re not talking about a lost puppy here. This is a child, and you’re being shoved that responsibility with probably no rights to do so. What will you do if she needs serious medical care? Or gets into a car accident? You just don’t wing these things. If you take that kid in, you won’t be able to reevaluate the situation if things go bad, you’ll be stuck with the situation at the expense of your daughter’s emotional well being.
So if you’re thinking that everything will be oh-so peachy, but in the case it’s not, oh well, you’ll see…. Don’t. Reevaluate what you’re about to do NOW. Not when you’re out of options.

It was very much mentioned in the OP. Go back where I mentioned how SO just got elected class president and how SHE, as in female, is on track to become valedictorian.

If something goes wrong we will reevaluate.

Oh, of course here comes the convenient “fact” not mentioned in the OP. And in fact, most cleverly disguised to be able to spring that after a few comments as if that makes you more right.
Still team husband here. Teenage sexuality isn’t just about pregnancy, so I agree that regardless of gender or sexual orientation having two romantically involved teenagers living under the same roof is a bad idea all around. Too much hormones and emotional immaturity going around for that to end well.