My son is getting out of jail and wants to move back home

[RIZZY]

I'm sure that was terrifying for you. Was there anything else that preceded this? How did you know the guns were illegal? I know Australian gun laws are much more sensible than in the US but I'm not familiar with AUS laws in general, I'm just curious.

Regardless, him not taking responsibility is a huge red flag. How do you spend 5 years in the slammer and come out with zero self awareness?

[Traci_Momof2]

If my son was still blaming me for his arrest I certainly wouldn't entertain any idea of helping him when he gets out. He needs to own up to his own mistakes and admit his own problems before I'd get involved.

[Kookookrazy]

Absolutely NOT. Do not allow him back in your home if he blames you that hate has festered .Why did he have the guns in the first place? He could have been planning a massacre or to kill you.You dont know .If he havent spoken to you in five years he absolutely doesnt like you. He only wants to move in with you because he has nowhere else to go.Dont end up an Investigation Discovery one hour special!

[Momto2boys973]

It’s a really tough situation. I really can’t relate so my advice may be dumb. I would start by talking to him, settling things between us before just having him move back with me. If he’s still resentful and you’re still distrustful, it’s a disaster waiting to happen if he lives with you. It may require therapy to help you both deal with the aftermath of the situation, but it’s not a lost cause.
I wish you the best of luck

[Deleted User 1977]

He'll have a parole officer once he's out? If so, they may suggest (or require, depending on where you live) that he reside in a half-way house.

He's your son and I assume you love him despite everything that has happened, but you're under no moral requirement to let him move back in.

Sometimes the greatest love is tough love.

[Anonymous 2]

Am I the only one having a hard time with turning in your own child? Being responsible for him being imprisoned for 5 years? Not handling the issue within your own family? I can't get past that to even get to her big quandary whether or not she should help him after having ruined his life.

[EarlGrayHot]

Nope. Not until you can be sure he has reformed and not contacting you and still blaming you doesn't sound like he has learned his lesson. I'd ask if there is a half-way house somewhere so he can stay there and ease back into a real life.

And yes, I think you did what you should have done. I have no problem with him landing in prison after you turned him in! HeEendangered a child for God's sake!! HE was totally at fault. HE deserved to be imprisoned for that!

[Anonymous 1]

Am I the only one having a hard time with turning in your own child? Being responsible for him being imprisoned for 5 years? Not handling the issue within your own family? I can't get past that to even get to her big quandary whether or not she should help him after having ruined his life.

I would have gone to jail if I did not call the police immediately. This was a very serious situation that could not be handled in the family.

I did not ruin his life, he did that himself. He endangered a child. He made the choice to have illegal guns knowing the consequences.

[Anonymous 1]

Absolutely NOT. Do not allow him back in your home if he blames you that hate has festered .Why did he have the guns in the first place? He could have been planning a massacre or to kill you.You dont know .If he havent spoken to you in five years he absolutely doesnt like you. He only wants to move in with you because he has nowhere else to go.Dont end up an Investigation Discovery one hour special!

He didn't want to go through the process of getting the guns legally. Also some of them you couldn't have legally no matter what and he just thought they were cool.

[Anonymous 1]

I'm sure that was terrifying for you. Was there anything else that preceded this? How did you know the guns were illegal? I know Australian gun laws are much more sensible than in the US but I'm not familiar with AUS laws in general, I'm just curious.

Regardless, him not taking responsibility is a huge red flag. How do you spend 5 years in the slammer and come out with zero self awareness?

He had not gone through the process of getting a gun legally yet. He had been avoiding it for years.