My son is getting out of jail and wants to move back home

[Anonymous 1]

I'm not sure how to feel about it. I have posted his story many times over the years. He had illegal guns in the house (that I did not know about) and my grandchild found one and had a loaded pistol in their hands. The police were called and my son has spent 5 years in jail for the illegal guns and putting a child at risk. I live in Australia and illegal guns are a big deal here.

He hasn't talked to me really the whole time. I thought he hated me because I was the one who called 000. He always said it was my fault he was arrested. I'm so torn. Of course I want to see my son again and try and build a relationship with him but I am worried about all the drama it can cause. I'm worried that it will just be back to a bad situation.

I have thought about helping him just find a place of his own but I'm not sure if that will make things better or worse. I am so torn.

[Lotus]

That's a difficult decision.

[SouthernIslander]

I’d be cautious if he is still blaming you and hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions. What he did was extremely serious and someone could have gotten killed. If he doesn’t see the severity of this, he is still normalizing chaos that he will drag in your house.

I think offering to help him get a place to stay is reasonable. He can always move back home once he rebuilds trust because it doesn’t sound like he has made much of an attempt to do that.

[SouthernIslander]

I’d be cautious if he is still blaming you and hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions. What he did was extremely serious and someone could have gotten killed. If he doesn’t see the severity of this, he is still normalizing chaos that he will drag in your house.

I think offering to help him get a place to stay is reasonable. He can always move back home once he rebuilds trust because it doesn’t sound like he has made much of an attempt to do that.

[Anonymous 1]

I’d be cautious if he is still blaming you and hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions. What he did was extremely serious and someone could have gotten killed. If he doesn’t see the severity of this, he is still normalizing chaos that he will drag in your house.

I think offering to help him get a place to stay is reasonable. He can always move back home once he rebuilds trust because it doesn’t sound like he has made much of an attempt to do that.

I haven't talked to him since he went to jail. He sent a letter saying he wanted to come home. I have no idea if he still feels it is my fault. I'm trying to figure out if it is worth trying to get in contact with him to figure it out or just wait until he is out and see if he contacts me. I just don't know what to do.

[SouthernIslander]

I’d be cautious if he is still blaming you and hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions. What he did was extremely serious and someone could have gotten killed. If he doesn’t see the severity of this, he is still normalizing chaos that he will drag in your house.

I think offering to help him get a place to stay is reasonable. He can always move back home once he rebuilds trust because it doesn’t sound like he has made much of an attempt to do that.

I haven't talked to him since he went to jail. He sent a letter saying he wanted to come home. I have no idea if he still feels it is my fault. I'm trying to figure out if it is worth trying to get in contact with him to figure it out or just wait until he is out and see if he contacts me. I just don't know what to do.

I’d probably do a pulse check now to see where his head is at before he gets out but this is 100% on him to fix.
So don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s completely up to your son to change and he can’t do that if he hasn’t taken responsibility for it.

You know your son much better than I do but I personally think it’s not a good sign that he hasn’t reached out to you to mend the damage he has done.

[LiveWhatULove]

I have a hard time relating to the situation.

I hope you come to some sort of peace with the situation.

[Rosehawk]

Nope. I wouldn't let him move back home, especially if your grandkids still come to visit. He's a liability.

[hotspice58]

He needs to have learned his lesson. You don’t know if he did. I get it about having a son in prison. However, his crime was his choice. He did not have to go down that path.

[hotspice58]

He needs to have learned his lesson. You don’t know if he did. I get it about having a son in prison. However, his crime was his choice. He did not have to go down that path.