Missing him...

[RIZZY]

My dad passed away on June 11th of this year. He was in hospital for one week before his heart stopped. No one at the hospital would tell me anything. They said he was fine. He was so tired and weak. I thought he was going to go to the nursing home and get a little better. I thought we had another six months, at least. Maybe a year. I'm ridden with guilt. I should have called more people to say goodbye. I should have fixed up his house more, maybe he would have had a better quality of life. We had his memorial service on Saturday. I thought I would feel better. I don't. I've never been this depressed in my life.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, a loss is bad enough, it's worse when you feel you could have done more. I'm sure you did your best based on what you knew and that's all anyone can ask! My condolences to you.

Thank you. Everyone on this site has been so kind.

[Godstar]

My dad passed away on June 11th of this year. He was in hospital for one week before his heart stopped. No one at the hospital would tell me anything. They said he was fine. He was so tired and weak. I thought he was going to go to the nursing home and get a little better. I thought we had another six months, at least. Maybe a year. I'm ridden with guilt. I should have called more people to say goodbye. I should have fixed up his house more, maybe he would have had a better quality of life. We had his memorial service on Saturday. I thought I would feel better. I don't. I've never been this depressed in my life.

Hugging and sending my condolences and love, your daddy is with you and is protecting you, always.

[carterscutie85]

My dad passed away on June 11th of this year. He was in hospital for one week before his heart stopped. No one at the hospital would tell me anything. They said he was fine. He was so tired and weak. I thought he was going to go to the nursing home and get a little better. I thought we had another six months, at least. Maybe a year. I'm ridden with guilt. I should have called more people to say goodbye. I should have fixed up his house more, maybe he would have had a better quality of life. We had his memorial service on Saturday. I thought I would feel better. I don't. I've never been this depressed in my life.

Hugs. I had a very hard time after mine passed as well. And I think most people go through the "what ifs" as part of the grieving process. Just know that whatever you are feeling is valid. It's been almost 3 years since my Dad passed and I've gone through a lot of emotions. And even though realistically I know he is dead, part of me still wants to pretend he's living in another state slowly killing himself like he was before he passed and that's why we don't have contact.

[Godstar]

My dad passed away on June 11th of this year. He was in hospital for one week before his heart stopped. No one at the hospital would tell me anything. They said he was fine. He was so tired and weak. I thought he was going to go to the nursing home and get a little better. I thought we had another six months, at least. Maybe a year. I'm ridden with guilt. I should have called more people to say goodbye. I should have fixed up his house more, maybe he would have had a better quality of life. We had his memorial service on Saturday. I thought I would feel better. I don't. I've never been this depressed in my life.

Hugs. I had a very hard time after mine passed as well. And I think most people go through the "what ifs" as part of the grieving process. Just know that whatever you are feeling is valid. It's been almost 3 years since my Dad passed and I've gone through a lot of emotions. And even though realistically I know he is dead, part of me still wants to pretend he's living in another state slowly killing himself like he was before he passed and that's why we don't have contact.

Hugs and love to you both. I feel the same way still... missing him, wishing, imagining, the what ifs, the should have been and never was... because of this and that out of our control. I am experiencing this too.. the pain, grief, tears, and disappointments in myself for not being a better daughter, and even granddaughter..

So, I understand. And, sending my condolences ❤

[Deleted User 1990]

(((Hugs)))

My dad died 20 years ago.

It gets better, I promise.