The kids lied to BM and she is blaming me

[Anonymous 1]

We are spending 2 weeks at my parents house next month. They live a few states away where I grew up.

The kids told BM that we are visiting friend of DH's instead of telling her we are going to see my parents.

She found out when DH said something about it. She 'busted him in the lie' and she said she knows he isn't a liar so I would have been the one who came up with it.

I didn't come up with any lie. I had no clue she didn't know where we were going. The kids said they told her all about it, dh hadn't talked to her about any details. They said they lied because they figured it would be easier that way

They even told her that and she still doesn't believe that her kids would ever tell a lie on their own.

Now she is saying she doesn't want us to go. That if we can't be honest with her that we have no right to take her kids. There is nothing that will convince her that I didnt come up with the lie.

Her logic doestnt even make any sense. If we were openly trying to lie to her why would DH casually mention where we are going? He had a feeling she wouldn't like it but it wasnt like he was going out of his way to hide anything.

The kids apologized to everyone. They know they shouldn't have lied they just thought it would be easier to lie than tell BM the truth when she asked. Honestly I think that is pretty sad that they feel that way. We are still going to go on our trip as planned but the kids lying really did make things worse.

[Anonymous 2]

Who cares

[MistressMonster]

We are spending 2 weeks at my parents house next month. They live a few states away where I grew up.

The kids told BM that we are visiting friend of DH's instead of telling her we are going to see my parents.

She found out when DH said something about it. She 'busted him in the lie' and she said she knows he isn't a liar so I would have been the one who came up with it.

I didn't come up with any lie. I had no clue she didn't know where we were going. The kids said they told her all about it, dh hadn't talked to her about any details. They said they lied because they figured it would be easier that way

They even told her that and she still doesn't believe that her kids would ever tell a lie on their own.

Now she is saying she doesn't want us to go. That if we can't be honest with her that we have no right to take her kids. There is nothing that will convince her that I didnt come up with the lie.

Her logic doestnt even make any sense. If we were openly trying to lie to her why would DH casually mention where we are going? He had a feeling she wouldn't like it but it wasnt like he was going out of his way to hide anything.

The kids apologized to everyone. They know they shouldn't have lied they just thought it would be easier to lie than tell BM the truth when she asked. Honestly I think that is pretty sad that they feel that way. We are still going to go on our trip as planned but the kids lying really did make things worse.

Repeat.

[Anonymous 3]

We are spending 2 weeks at my parents house next month. They live a few states away where I grew up.

The kids told BM that we are visiting friend of DH's instead of telling her we are going to see my parents.

She found out when DH said something about it. She 'busted him in the lie' and she said she knows he isn't a liar so I would have been the one who came up with it.

I didn't come up with any lie. I had no clue she didn't know where we were going. The kids said they told her all about it, dh hadn't talked to her about any details. They said they lied because they figured it would be easier that way

They even told her that and she still doesn't believe that her kids would ever tell a lie on their own.

Now she is saying she doesn't want us to go. That if we can't be honest with her that we have no right to take her kids. There is nothing that will convince her that I didnt come up with the lie.

Her logic doestnt even make any sense. If we were openly trying to lie to her why would DH casually mention where we are going? He had a feeling she wouldn't like it but it wasnt like he was going out of his way to hide anything.

The kids apologized to everyone. They know they shouldn't have lied they just thought it would be easier to lie than tell BM the truth when she asked. Honestly I think that is pretty sad that they feel that way. We are still going to go on our trip as planned but the kids lying really did make things worse.

Repeat.

Y'all call troll or call repeat on anything that comes up as a new topic. Realize that people can have the same things going on in different times of their lives. And honestly if you remember posts word for word from YEARS ago then maybe you spend too much time on here and maybe you need to get a F***ing life outside of cm/mc

[Anonymous 3]

BM just sounds bitter and it's sad that the kids feel they can't be honest with their mother. BM also needs to realize they aren't just her kids.

[SouthernIslander]

If this is true, your DH should have a visitation order in place to plan trips like this on his time and he should have told BM in advance where y’all were going, so the kids aren’t put in the position to do it for him and lie to keep the peace.

Lying by omission is still lying IMHO.

[Anonymous 3]

If this is true, your DH should have a visitation order in place to plan trips like this on his time and he should have told BM in advance where y’all were going, so the kids aren’t put in the position to do it for him and lie to keep the peace.

Lying by omission is still lying IMHO.

Maybe the kids jumped the gun on telling mom. Maybe dad just had not gotten around to talking plans out with BM yet. That happens with my foster kids all the time, we talk about something going on and they tell their mother before i can get on the phone with her and explain what's going on so i get a call or text asking what the heck they are talking about. OP clearly said dad had not had a chance to talk to her yet

[Deleted User 1977]

They're not just HER kid's and if none of you have figured it out yet, you should...children lie. For all kinds of reasons and regardless of the dynamic they share in the relationship they have with their parent's.

Too much of a big deal is being made about this by all concerned.

Now that the destination of the trip is out in the open, go enjoy the trip. Going forward, make sure in situations like this, nothing is "casually" mentioned. Just be upfront, open, and if the kid's lie again, hold them accountable.

[Olioxenfree]

How old are the kids? What is the custody agreement?

[Anonymous 1]

If this is true, your DH should have a visitation order in place to plan trips like this on his time and he should have told BM in advance where y’all were going, so the kids aren’t put in the position to do it for him and lie to keep the peace.

Lying by omission is still lying IMHO.

He had not talked to her about the trip until now. He was never going to lie to her or omit anything. He doesn't need a visitations order to plan trips though..