Help me understand.

[Traci_Momof2]

The LGBTQ+ community is under fire. But I don't think your son has anything to be worried about. Being asexual and aromantic is something the far right may think is "weird" but because being asexual and aromantic is about a lack of desire or action the lawmakers don't really care. Unless the government makes laws that require a person to have a relationship or procreate there's nothing about him they can control and, really, it's all about control.

That's where I'm at too, that at least in that sense he's "safe". But he does have some friends that would not be as safe. I don't remember everyone's orientation but he has at least one or two friends that are not straight up heterosexual, and he has at least two friends who identify by the pronoun "they" though I don't know if that's really "in the community" so to speak or just more of what the far right sees as "weird".

I worry a bit for all of them, but don't let the worry consume me just yet. But I will definitely be mindful of where candidates stand on this issue when I vote.

I'm not sure where the right views those who identify as non-binary. You guys don't have a gender X marker in America do you?

Some of your sons friends could have their rights taken away and they do have the right to be fearful.

I had to Google this as I didn't know. According to Google, the US issued it's first passport with a Gender X marker in Oct 2021. However, only 20 states plus DC have a Gender X marker on their state ID's (ie. drivers' license). And when we are talking about day to day things where an official ID is needed, most often it's the state ID that is used. So right now we've got less than half of the US covered for Gender X.

[Anonymous 4]

Huh, I guess people really do learn something new everyday.

[Anonymous 5]

DS17 is asexual and aromantic. He considers himself part of the LGBTQ+ group. He was very upset by the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v Wade because of what it could mean for other Supreme Court decisions regarding the LGBTQ+ community. I understand basically how gay marriage rights are in jeopardy from this decision.

But my DS said that it could also become a thing where it is basically illegal for him to exist. And that if his own existence is determined at the state level, then he could have to worry about traveling through certain states as he would be illegal in certain states.

I don't understand how a person's existence is in danger. Is there something that I am missing? Or is his response based in paranoia over something that just won't happen? I tried asking him but he was so upset that it was difficult to talk to him. And now at this point that he's doing a bit better, I don't want to upset him again by bringing it up again because we are all on vacation and I don't want to ruin things for him. I don't want him spending his whole vacation fretting over something that I think is highly unlikely to happen.

So please help me understand if you know what he is talking about.

It's drama and paranoia. They like to say that about "they can't exist" when they're steeped in their victim mentality.

[Anonymous 6]

DS17 is asexual and aromantic. He considers himself part of the LGBTQ+ group. He was very upset by the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v Wade because of what it could mean for other Supreme Court decisions regarding the LGBTQ+ community. I understand basically how gay marriage rights are in jeopardy from this decision.

But my DS said that it could also become a thing where it is basically illegal for him to exist. And that if his own existence is determined at the state level, then he could have to worry about traveling through certain states as he would be illegal in certain states.

I don't understand how a person's existence is in danger. Is there something that I am missing? Or is his response based in paranoia over something that just won't happen? I tried asking him but he was so upset that it was difficult to talk to him. And now at this point that he's doing a bit better, I don't want to upset him again by bringing it up again because we are all on vacation and I don't want to ruin things for him. I don't want him spending his whole vacation fretting over something that I think is highly unlikely to happen.

So please help me understand if you know what he is talking about.

It's drama and paranoia. They like to say that about "they can't exist" when they're steeped in their victim mentality.

God, you're turning vile Val.

[Anonymous 7]

He's putting too much importance on labels. If he didn't have those labels he would be the exact same person as he is with the labels.
I don't mean that in any sort of disrespectful way at all. I'm just saying that he holds the labels too tightly to his identity and is terrified that he will "cease to exist" if he's not allowed to be those labels. But at the end of the day they're just words and he's still the exact same person with or without the labels.

[Mamaof5]

It is really difficult to tell what will and won’t happen right now. Overturning Roe opens the door to removing other rights and given that the court even said as much, it’s nerve wracking. I get where he is coming from

[Anonymous 8]

I think this is an extremely frightening and difficult time for teen and young adults who are not heteronormal and dismissing their fears is denying that they have any concern which of course they do. I don't know what the answer is other than to find a supportive group for your son, keep him close and loved, and try to help him process through. Being dismissive of his fears as others have mentioned is counter productive in raising a healthy teen. His fears are real and valid but it takes time and expertise to help him navigate.

[Traci_Momof2]

He's putting too much importance on labels. If he didn't have those labels he would be the exact same person as he is with the labels.
I don't mean that in any sort of disrespectful way at all. I'm just saying that he holds the labels too tightly to his identity and is terrified that he will "cease to exist" if he's not allowed to be those labels. But at the end of the day they're just words and he's still the exact same person with or without the labels.

I actually don't disagree with you. At the same time, I remember what it was like being his age, finding your own identity, figuring out who you are. I think those labels are very important to him right now in that process of finding himself. I suspect in 10 or 20 years he won't wear the labels the same way he does now. But for now it's not hurting anything for him to be proud of his labels so I let him be.

[PoplarGrove]

DS17 is asexual and aromantic. He considers himself part of the LGBTQ+ group. He was very upset by the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v Wade because of what it could mean for other Supreme Court decisions regarding the LGBTQ+ community. I understand basically how gay marriage rights are in jeopardy from this decision.

But my DS said that it could also become a thing where it is basically illegal for him to exist. And that if his own existence is determined at the state level, then he could have to worry about traveling through certain states as he would be illegal in certain states.

I don't understand how a person's existence is in danger. Is there something that I am missing? Or is his response based in paranoia over something that just won't happen? I tried asking him but he was so upset that it was difficult to talk to him. And now at this point that he's doing a bit better, I don't want to upset him again by bringing it up again because we are all on vacation and I don't want to ruin things for him. I don't want him spending his whole vacation fretting over something that I think is highly unlikely to happen.

So please help me understand if you know what he is talking about.

It's drama and paranoia. They like to say that about "they can't exist" when they're steeped in their victim mentality.

In Texas a parent can lose custody of their child for assisting them in transitioning to the gender they know they are. In other States a teacher isn't allowed to support a gay child and must tell the parents what the child told them. The Supreme Court has said that they are considering looking into the legality of gay marriage. In my lifetime they institutionalized people for the mental illness of being gay or transgender. Call me crazy, but it sounds like society is telling them, once again, that they aren't allowed to exist as their true selves.

In the case of OP her son is unlikely to see any backlash but he has friends who will.

[LiveWhatULove]

I’d have to balance his overall emotional well-being, and only you know how vulnerable your son is…

But in our house, we have shut this panic and dramatic sh*t down. Old trigger laws, crazy ass politicians that lobbied on BS, will be voted out. I truly believe that sanity will prevail, and things will actually possibly be even BETTER than the previous status quo, due to strong emotional feelings.

So we have a no victims rule until you truly are one — so that attitude would drive me absolutely bonkers.

Here's the thing.. the LGBTQIA+ community has been under fire for years. It has gotten worse in recent years. You might not worry about it, or even care as your post is certainly alluding to that since you mention drama and panic..however, those of us with kids in the community are worried. We have politicans leading crusades on trans kids, don't say gay, etc.. Thomas has said that SCOTUS needs to revisit gay marriage, etc.. So, yeah.. those in the community have every right to be worried or as you put it: be dramatic.
They have been victims for decades, this is nothing new.. It is just getting worse. My daughter is a minority and in the community so yeah.. I worry about her future a lot..especially leaving for college in a year.
If you can't be an ally to them, then sit down and shut your mouth..<--- my advice for everyone ( not singling you out) as you have zero clue how they feel right now and have felt for years.

I actually do care very much about many issues including the LGTIBQ community & their rights — not that I care to converse with you any further. But I guess thanks for the call out & lecture on your moral superiority ?!? Sitting down and shutting the F* up!!