Help me understand.

[mcginnisc]

It could mean he’s not allowed to marry
It could mean he is forced into a treatment center for mental health
It could mean he loses rights that combat discrimination and could lose his ability to get a mortgage or business loan.
It could mean his life choices are gone. He won’t be seen as a valid human being anymore.

I’m not saying this in an unconcerned way, it’s what I’m terrified about for my Gay daughter.

For my DS specifically, it's not about marriage or sexual relations. Since he's asexual and aromantic he has no intentions of engaging in either of those things.

The other things you mentioned, I guess I could see that. I guess for him if anything it means being back in the closet in the public eye. Which is absolutely not ideal at all, not at all what I want. But I guess what I'm saying is if you look at him and talk to him, you can't tell that he's asexual. So in a typical conversation with a loan officer, they aren't going to know he's asexual. They'll just think he a single male, you know? So if he just doesn't talk about it publicly, again not at all ideal, but in a worse case situation, if he doesn't talk about it publicly then he should be able to get through life without having to combat much discrimination. Now some of his friends might not have it as easy.

There is a recently formed LGBTQ Center in our area. I did put the bug in his ear that when we get home he should look into it as a source of not only finding others to talk to, but a source to see what he can do to help combat going down this road. And he turns 18 in October this year so I am encouraging him to get out and vote. Those two things are about the best hope I can give him at this point to actually do something and not just feel consumed by fear.

The community has been under fire for years. They should not have to live in the closet nor should they have to worry about being targeted by politiians for being who they are. Period. People in the community have every reason to worry right now as politicians in many states have already started the witch hunt so to speak...with RVW being overturned and CT speaking out that they should revisit gay marriage, etc..their rights are definitely in the line of fire. It pisses me off as my daughter is also A- sexual and in the community. She is a minority to begin with and then add in being in the community, it scares me for her future here in the States.

[mcginnisc]

I’d have to balance his overall emotional well-being, and only you know how vulnerable your son is…

But in our house, we have shut this panic and dramatic sh*t down. Old trigger laws, crazy ass politicians that lobbied on BS, will be voted out. I truly believe that sanity will prevail, and things will actually possibly be even BETTER than the previous status quo, due to strong emotional feelings.

So we have a no victims rule until you truly are one — so that attitude would drive me absolutely bonkers.

Here's the thing.. the LGBTQIA+ community has been under fire for years. It has gotten worse in recent years. You might not worry about it, or even care as your post is certainly alluding to that since you mention drama and panic..however, those of us with kids in the community are worried. We have politicans leading crusades on trans kids, don't say gay, etc.. Thomas has said that SCOTUS needs to revisit gay marriage, etc.. So, yeah.. those in the community have every right to be worried or as you put it: be dramatic.
They have been victims for decades, this is nothing new.. It is just getting worse. My daughter is a minority and in the community so yeah.. I worry about her future a lot..especially leaving for college in a year.
If you can't be an ally to them, then sit down and shut your mouth..<--- my advice for everyone ( not singling you out) as you have zero clue how they feel right now and have felt for years.

[Anonymous 3]

I’d have to balance his overall emotional well-being, and only you know how vulnerable your son is…

But in our house, we have shut this panic and dramatic sh*t down. Old trigger laws, crazy ass politicians that lobbied on BS, will be voted out. I truly believe that sanity will prevail, and things will actually possibly be even BETTER than the previous status quo, due to strong emotional feelings.

So we have a no victims rule until you truly are one — so that attitude would drive me absolutely bonkers.

Here's the thing.. the LGBTQIA+ community has been under fire for years. It has gotten worse in recent years. You might not worry about it, or even care as your post is certainly alluding to that since you mention drama and panic..however, those of us with kids in the community are worried. We have politicans leading crusades on trans kids, don't say gay, etc.. Thomas has said that SCOTUS needs to revisit gay marriage, etc.. So, yeah.. those in the community have every right to be worried or as you put it: be dramatic.
They have been victims for decades, this is nothing new.. It is just getting worse. My daughter is a minority and in the community so yeah.. I worry about her future a lot..especially leaving for college in a year.
If you can't be an ally to them, then sit down and shut your mouth..<--- my advice for everyone ( not singling you out) as you have zero clue how they feel right now and have felt for years.

How is your daughter in the community? Of course this is very personal and feel free not to answer I just see some ways people say they are in the community (this very post for example being aromantic) so just wondering if it’s something off the wall like that.

[mcginnisc]

I’d have to balance his overall emotional well-being, and only you know how vulnerable your son is…

But in our house, we have shut this panic and dramatic sh*t down. Old trigger laws, crazy ass politicians that lobbied on BS, will be voted out. I truly believe that sanity will prevail, and things will actually possibly be even BETTER than the previous status quo, due to strong emotional feelings.

So we have a no victims rule until you truly are one — so that attitude would drive me absolutely bonkers.

Here's the thing.. the LGBTQIA+ community has been under fire for years. It has gotten worse in recent years. You might not worry about it, or even care as your post is certainly alluding to that since you mention drama and panic..however, those of us with kids in the community are worried. We have politicans leading crusades on trans kids, don't say gay, etc.. Thomas has said that SCOTUS needs to revisit gay marriage, etc.. So, yeah.. those in the community have every right to be worried or as you put it: be dramatic.
They have been victims for decades, this is nothing new.. It is just getting worse. My daughter is a minority and in the community so yeah.. I worry about her future a lot..especially leaving for college in a year.
If you can't be an ally to them, then sit down and shut your mouth..<--- my advice for everyone ( not singling you out) as you have zero clue how they feel right now and have felt for years.

How is your daughter in the community? Of course this is very personal and feel free not to answer I just see some ways people say they are in the community (this very post for example being aromantic) so just wondering if it’s something off the wall like that.

The A in LGBTQIA+ means Asexual.

[jas]

What is aromantic?

Aromantic means having no inclinations towards any kind of romantic feelings for anyone. So no type of romantic relationships with anyone. Whereas asexual means no desire for any kind of sexual activity. The two kind of go hand in hand but it is possible to be one and not the other. You could have someone who enjoys sexual activity but has no desire for any of the romantic stuff that goes with a relationship, they just want S*x. You could also have someone who wants a romantic relationship - someone to cuddle with, hold hands with, share their lives with, but has zero interest in any actual sexual activity. S*x and romance often go together but can be separate things. My son happens to have zero interest or inclination towards either one.

Thank you very much for the explanation. My son has friends who are "femboys" and I feel so old and out of touch most days trying to keep up with what everything means.

[Deleted User 1977]

I’d have to balance his overall emotional well-being, and only you know how vulnerable your son is…

But in our house, we have shut this panic and dramatic sh*t down. Old trigger laws, crazy ass politicians that lobbied on BS, will be voted out. I truly believe that sanity will prevail, and things will actually possibly be even BETTER than the previous status quo, due to strong emotional feelings.

So we have a no victims rule until you truly are one — so that attitude would drive me absolutely bonkers.

I think I understand where you're coming from--prepare for a possible outcome, but don't panic. Not yet.

[PoplarGrove]

The LGBTQ+ community is under fire. But I don't think your son has anything to be worried about. Being asexual and aromantic is something the far right may think is "weird" but because being asexual and aromantic is about a lack of desire or action the lawmakers don't really care. Unless the government makes laws that require a person to have a relationship or procreate there's nothing about him they can control and, really, it's all about control.

[Traci_Momof2]

I’d have to balance his overall emotional well-being, and only you know how vulnerable your son is…

But in our house, we have shut this panic and dramatic sh*t down. Old trigger laws, crazy ass politicians that lobbied on BS, will be voted out. I truly believe that sanity will prevail, and things will actually possibly be even BTTER than the previous status quo, due to strong emotional feelings.

So we have a no victims rule until you truly are one — so that attitude would drive me absolutely bonkers.

thank god he has a mother that cares about his emotions then and doesn't have to deal with you furthering the feeling of having to shut up about it.

Honestly I get what she's saying to an extent. I think she's saying that worry and stress and panic on their own are useless and unproductive, so her family turns instead towards things they can do, such as the voting she mentioned. Voting like I also mentioned to my son.

I myself am trying to balance between validating his feelings and not promoting stress about things that haven't happened yet.

[Traci_Momof2]

The LGBTQ+ community is under fire. But I don't think your son has anything to be worried about. Being asexual and aromantic is something the far right may think is "weird" but because being asexual and aromantic is about a lack of desire or action the lawmakers don't really care. Unless the government makes laws that require a person to have a relationship or procreate there's nothing about him they can control and, really, it's all about control.

That's where I'm at too, that at least in that sense he's "safe". But he does have some friends that would not be as safe. I don't remember everyone's orientation but he has at least one or two friends that are not straight up heterosexual, and he has at least two friends who identify by the pronoun "they" though I don't know if that's really "in the community" so to speak or just more of what the far right sees as "weird".

I worry a bit for all of them, but don't let the worry consume me just yet. But I will definitely be mindful of where candidates stand on this issue when I vote.

[PoplarGrove]

The LGBTQ+ community is under fire. But I don't think your son has anything to be worried about. Being asexual and aromantic is something the far right may think is "weird" but because being asexual and aromantic is about a lack of desire or action the lawmakers don't really care. Unless the government makes laws that require a person to have a relationship or procreate there's nothing about him they can control and, really, it's all about control.

That's where I'm at too, that at least in that sense he's "safe". But he does have some friends that would not be as safe. I don't remember everyone's orientation but he has at least one or two friends that are not straight up heterosexual, and he has at least two friends who identify by the pronoun "they" though I don't know if that's really "in the community" so to speak or just more of what the far right sees as "weird".

I worry a bit for all of them, but don't let the worry consume me just yet. But I will definitely be mindful of where candidates stand on this issue when I vote.

I'm not sure where the right views those who identify as non-binary. You guys don't have a gender X marker in America do you?

Some of your sons friends could have their rights taken away and they do have the right to be fearful.