I gave her cancer!

Anonymous 1

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My 26 yr old dd just had a baby boy 5 months ago. He's the cutest little boy. She's a single mom, so I'm so lucky to be able to help raise him. They don't live with us but we have the baby just about every day, as dd works a lot to pay the bills.

My dd 22 had been all Gung ho about getting the gene test done for the bracca gene ( breast cancer.) I am a 18 yr Breast Cancer Survivor.

Well dd 26 did the gene test instead of dd 22. She's positive for the gene. I am positive, my dad is positive.

Her Dr sent her for a mammogram & they found a lump. She had it biopsied and its Cancer. After talking with her, it's exactly in the same spot on her breast as mine was. Left breast 11 o'clock.

She wants a dbl mastectomy. I'm so scared for her . I know it's a survivable Cancer as I'm living proof but the chemo is so harsh on the body.

We will help her through it all , help raise the baby but she wants to make it so much harder on herself & us. Instead of her & the baby moving in with us she wants to live alone with the baby. She lives 25 minutes away!!!

I just hope when the drs get serious about treatment, she will see she can't do it alone.
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MonarchMom
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25 minutes is not far away. You can be there as often as you need, and allow her to deal with this in the way that makes her most comfortable. She is fortunate to have your help and support.
Olioxenfree
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If they do a mastectomy and the cancer hasn’t metastasized, she might not need chemo. I understand that you want to be supportive and I’m sure she appreciates that, but I also understand her not wanting to move in. Lots of single parents live alone and do just fine, she was independence as an adult.
Anonymous 2

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Since when is 25 minutes far?
Anonymous 1

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MonarchMom wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 7:39 pm 25 minutes is not far away. You can be there as often as you need, and allow her to deal with this in the way that makes her most comfortable. She is fortunate to have your help and support.
Thank you . The chemo for Breast Cancer is a very aggressive chemo, she wouldn't be able to work. She will need to move in with us as we can not afford to pay her $1035/mnth rent for months on end.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 2 wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:16 pm Since when is 25 minutes far?
It's hugely far when your dd can't get out of bed to take care of your grandchild because she's exhausted from chemotherapy...
Anonymous 1

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Olioxenfree wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 7:42 pm If they do a mastectomy and the cancer hasn’t metastasized, she might not need chemo. I understand that you want to be supportive and I’m sure she appreciates that, but I also understand her not wanting to move in. Lots of single parents live alone and do just fine, she was independence as an adult.
Thank you.
Lemons
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:45 pm
Olioxenfree wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 7:42 pm If they do a mastectomy and the cancer hasn’t metastasized, she might not need chemo. I understand that you want to be supportive and I’m sure she appreciates that, but I also understand her not wanting to move in. Lots of single parents live alone and do just fine, she was independence as an adult.
Thank you.
If she has the aggressive kind and it sounds like she does, she might have to have chemo and radiation.

The treatment can be awful, I went through it and have it again. My mother was over a lot and slept over a lot. She took the kids on weekends. Your daughter might change her mind depending on how it goes.

It’s good they found out early that they have the gene so they can review their options.

Do both parents have to have the gene to pass it down? My husband passed the Tay Sach gene to my two oldest but I don’t have the gene. I also don’t have brac gene but not sure about him.
Anonymous 1

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Lemons wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 9:01 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:45 pm
Olioxenfree wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 7:42 pm If they do a mastectomy and the cancer hasn’t metastasized, she might not need chemo. I understand that you want to be supportive and I’m sure she appreciates that, but I also understand her not wanting to move in. Lots of single parents live alone and do just fine, she was independence as an adult.
Thank you.
If she has the aggressive kind and it sounds like she does, she might have to have chemo and radiation.

The treatment can be awful, I went through it and have it again. My mother was over a lot and slept over a lot. She took the kids on weekends. Your daughter might change her mind depending on how it goes.

It’s good they found out early that they have the gene so they can review their options.

Do both parents have to have the gene to pass it down? My husband passed the Tay Sach gene to my two oldest but I don’t have the gene. I also don’t have brac gene but not sure about him.
She does remember when I went through chemo & a dble mastectomy when she was 9 yrs old. She understands what treatment does to a person, she even told me that. I can only hope that after all the scans need to be done & treatment is talked about she realizes how hard it's going to be.

My husband was never tested for the bracca gene. However his grandmother passed of Breast Cancer. And his niece is fighting Breast Cancer now.

We do know that Breast Cancer is running rampant on my dad's side. Yrs ago great great aunt died of it. Then I got it at 28 yrs old. My older Cousin then got it. Her sister has the gene & got a dble mastectomy b4 Cancer happened. My other cousin is fighting it for the 3rd time ( she refuses mastectomies.)
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:42 pm
Anonymous 2 wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:16 pm Since when is 25 minutes far?
It's hugely far when your dd can't get out of bed to take care of your grandchild because she's exhausted from chemotherapy...
So you drive over there to take care of her or stay there on bad days. She's going through enough without having to move as well.
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