Anonymous 7 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 18, 2022 9:35 amNo, what’s happening here is that you’re hearing from multiple people WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH IT saying it’s understandable what this mother is going through.Anonymous 3 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 18, 2022 5:53 amYep i know all about, have watched family go through it and been there to help them. Never once did any one act pushy or self like OP. Yes i get trying to make a plan but it's not HER plan to make, and can make suggestions but at the end of the day it's up to her dd if she wants to move back home or not. But OP has done nothing but talk about how inconvenient this will be for HER and how inconvenient they are now.Anonymous 9 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 18, 2022 12:38 am
Everyone is reeling from this news, not just the daughter. The entire family. Her mom is trying to strategize. I don't think this is control at all. I think the mom is just trying to think levelheaded and practically, because that's what moms do. They remain calm in a crisis to help their child. I have gotten this news, twice, and your mind bubbles over with thoughts and fears and decisions that have to be made IMMEDIATELY. Do I want a mastectomy for sure? Do I want immediate reconstruction? Implants or fat grafting? Can I save my lymph nodes so I am not facing a lifetime of lymphedema? These are mind boggling decisions. But - There is no time to ponder. Surgery needs to happen ASAFP before this rotten tumor gets bigger or invades more tissue. There is a window to begin chemo if you are going to do it. Once you pass that window, the efficacy is greatly reduced so you have to decide that course in the immediate term. Then you are trying to picture yourself bald. You are Googling wigs. Can I get a wig made from my own hair if I cut it off before it starts to fall out? Will people at work know? Will I look normal? Radiation follows after the chemo. There are a lot of life changing choices to be made in a very small window of time. I think Mom is just trying to take care of the logistics side as the daughter has enough to worry about.
IF her dd wants to live at home cool that's her Choice but if she does not That's also her choice and her mother shouldn't be pushy and try to force her dd to do something she doesn't want to. And she also shouldn't hold the things she chooses to do for her dd and grandchild over their heads to manipulate them. Which is exactly what she has done.
And you’re disagreeing with the logistical panic that comes along with this because YOU SAW PEOPLE GO THROUGH IT.
You have no idea if you’ve never done it.
Observing and living are two very different things. You get it. The other one doesn't. If my mother was still with me at my diagnosis, she'd have kicked into high gear preparing too.