DS is missing his best friends birthday because he is grounded.

[Catdaughter20]

[quote="Anonymous 4" post_id=876331 time=1635515478]
[quote="Anonymous 1" post_id=876329 time=1635514631]
[quote=Lindsay post_id=876328 time=1635514401 user_id=1949]


Well, it’s a full sentence. Just reading the beginning of the sentence might make it seem that way but if you finish it…
[/quote]
How I read it is that you are not a fan of punishment no matter the cost which would mean from tiny costs to big costs. Punishment always comes at a cost so it can also be taken as you aren't for punishment. I'm not the only one who took it that way.
[/quote]

No you’re not. I took it that way too and I’m sure others did as well. She could have said she’s not a fan of taking things away as punishment and prefers manual labor as punishment.
[/quote]

So did I.

[hotspice58]

I’m with you. Not sure what it is with teenage boys and cars, but they need to learn about consequences.

The birthday trip is on Friday through Saturday DS is 17 and he is grounded for 3 more weeks. He snuck out in the middle of the night and took my car without permission and it broke down on the side of the road. He didn't even tell me I found out when I got a call from the police because he was out past curfew and they weren't sure if the car was stolen because it wasn't registered to him.

Needless to say I was extremely mad and he is grounded. He also lost some other privileges.

Well the birthday party is coming up. I guess DS assumed that he would be allowed to go. They have been best friends since pre school and he has never missed one.

It's not happening. When I ground one of my kids it is from everything beside school. The best friends mom is pissed off because she spent a lot of money for DS to go. I told her that he would pay her back but she still thinks he should be able to go and that I am ruining her son's birthday. I told her that the only one who ruined anything is my son when he made such poor decisions. She doesn't have to agree with my parenting decisions her opinion does not matter to me. If she wants to be angry she can be angry at my son. What he did was a huge deal and he doesn't deserve to be going on a trip while he is grounded.

[Traci_Momof2]

I'm with you on this one. And wow on the mom's who don't punish their kids.

Please point out who has said they don't punish their kids. Spoiler: you can't because no one did.

[Anonymous 1]

I'm with you on this one. And wow on the mom's who don't punish their kids.

Please point out who has said they don't punish their kids. Spoiler: you can't because no one did.

She might have been referring to the comment that could be seen as the mom doesn't punish her kids.

[Traci_Momof2]

I've never grounded my kids so missing out like this has never been an issue in my house.

You do you.

Hypothetically if you kid did what her son did how would they have been punished?

Depends. What was their motivation for doing it? Are they sorry about it? Or are they being cocky and oppositional about it? Because I don't like the idea of just punishing actions. There is always some sort of motivation behind the action and if you get to the root of the motivation and fix that, the action goes away on it's own.

My oldest is 17 and has his drivers' permit. He's not even highly motivated to get out there and practice enough to go get his license. I have a really hard time seeing him take the car on his own for some devious shenanigans.

[Anonymous 5]

I'm with you on this one. And wow on the mom's who don't punish their kids.

Please point out who has said they don't punish their kids. Spoiler: you can't because no one did.

She might have been referring to the comment that could be seen as the mom doesn't punish her kids.

It's ridiculous to be going over your own misunderstanding this much.

[Traci_Momof2]

I've never grounded my kids so missing out like this has never been an issue in my house.

You do you.

What would you have done in my situation?

I answered that to Anon 4 above.

[Anonymous 1]

Please point out who has said they don't punish their kids. Spoiler: you can't because no one did.

She might have been referring to the comment that could be seen as the mom doesn't punish her kids.

It's ridiculous to be going over your own misunderstanding this much.

I was just saying what could have happened. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous 1]

I've never grounded my kids so missing out like this has never been an issue in my house.

You do you.

Hypothetically if you kid did what her son did how would they have been punished?

Depends. What was their motivation for doing it? Are they sorry about it? Or are they being cocky and oppositional about it? Because I don't like the idea of just punishing actions. There is always some sort of motivation behind the action and if you get to the root of the motivation and fix that, the action goes away on it's own.

My oldest is 17 and has his drivers' permit. He's not even highly motivated to get out there and practice enough to go get his license. I have a really hard time seeing him take the car on his own for some devious shenanigans.

He was sneaking out to meet up with his girlfriend and then go to a party. He is sorry about it. It you were me how would you have punished my son?

[Traci_Momof2]

The stars don't really change much. Your statement makes it seem like you just aren't a fan of punishment that is why people are confused by it I think.

Well, it’s a full sentence. Just reading the beginning of the sentence might make it seem that way but if you finish it…

How I read it is that you are not a fan of punishment no matter the cost which would mean from tiny costs to big costs. Punishment always comes at a cost so it can also be taken as you aren't for punishment. I'm not the only one who took it that way.

I was not confused. To me she meant she is not a fan of using a particular punishment in a particular situation regardless of the cost of said punishment. Using your situation as an example (and Lindsay feel free to correct me) she's saying if it wasn't for the already planned big trip then she might be all for using the grounding as a punishment, but because it would affect the big trip and affect his best friend on his birthday no less, then she would find a different means to punish in that situation.
Whereas you are using the grounding as punishment no matter the cost, meaning you are grounding your son no matter what it means he misses out on. That's all that she's saying she's not a fan of.