I told DD if she doesnt go to school she will have to move out

[Guest]

The rule to live in the house after high school is that my kids either need to be enrolled in school full time or working part time and going to school part time. I require them to be furthering their education to stay living in the house. It doesnt necessarily have to be college, one of my kids opted to go to a trade school

DD just graduated and she asked if she could just work full time instead. I told her no. If she wants to stay living in the house she needs to be in some type of school. This has always been the rule and she has known it since an early age.

She still wants me to change the rules for her because she doesnt think she wants to go to school and wants to just work until she figures it out. If she is working full time she might as well be living on her own. I wont have a freeloader in my house and if she is going to pay me rent she might as well be paying rent in her own place.

She is upset that I wont bend the rules for her but says she will figure it out. We live in a low COL area so with a couple of roommates she can easily support herself working full time even if she was making minimum wage.

She thinks I am too strict. I dont think requiring them to further their education to live at home is too strict. DH got kicked out after he graduated high school because "adults live on their own" as his parents say

I lived at home while going through school and had no problem with it. My parents had to evict my sister when she was 22 because she made it clear she planned on working and living there for a long time. She never wanted to move out and they were sick of having a 22 year old doing the same exact thing she did at 16 with no desire to leave home.

I wont risk the same thing with my kids. At least if they are in school they are working towards something and there is an end date.

She either needs to follow the house rules, which are the same for all of my kids, or get her own place.

[RedBottoms]

I think that is a fair rule. If she is working full time she should have enough money to move out on her own.

[Deleted User 66]

I think you are being too harsh. I'm all about furthering your education but if she doesn't know what she wants I think working full time is ok. It's hard at 18 to know what you want to do with your life.

[Guest]

I think you are being too harsh. I'm all about furthering your education but if she doesn't know what she wants I think working full time is ok. It's hard at 18 to know what you want to do with your life.

She could take the pre reqs she would need for any degree or even trade school. That way she would have time to figure it out. She doesnt want to.

I dont think my rules are too harsh and I have been upfront about it. There is nothing wrong with me enforcing the rules.

[anon 1]

Well if that's your rule but it's not one that I would have. I would be fine with her working full time because I wouldn't want her going to college just to go to college and wasting money. Those who go to college and have no idea what they want will either not take it seriously or end up just taking classes with no career aim. My bil parents had that rule and he became a career college student and now works part time in a grocery store.

[KaiandKadensMama]

I’m with you. CC will at least be required part time. There are always basic core classes to take, even if you don’t fully know what degree to pursue at first.

[Deleted User 66]

I think you are being too harsh. I'm all about furthering your education but if she doesn't know what she wants I think working full time is ok. It's hard at 18 to know what you want to do with your life.

She could take the pre reqs she would need for any degree or even trade school. That way she would have time to figure it out. She doesnt want to.

I dont think my rules are too harsh and I have been upfront about it. There is nothing wrong with me enforcing the rules.

You do you but I don't agree. Based off the family history you gave, fucked up family dynamics seem to be y'alls thing across generations.

[RedBottoms]

I agree with OP that even if she did not know what she wanted to go to college for -that is ok. She can go get the basic classes like math and english and western civ out of the way while she thinks about it at least

I would allow full time work and part time student while she figures it out.

[Inmybizz]

A bit harsh, but it's your rule.
I'm not going to be as strict. My daughter can stay at any of my 3 homes as long as she needs to get her self together. My only requirement is that she be working or in school.

[Guest]

I think you are being too harsh. I'm all about furthering your education but if she doesn't know what she wants I think working full time is ok. It's hard at 18 to know what you want to do with your life.

She could take the pre reqs she would need for any degree or even trade school. That way she would have time to figure it out. She doesnt want to.

I dont think my rules are too harsh and I have been upfront about it. There is nothing wrong with me enforcing the rules.

You do you but I don't agree. Based off the family history you gave, fucked up family dynamics seem to be y'alls thing across generations.

My sister and parents are very close. She doesnt blame them at this point. She was being a total loser (her words). Most people grow up and understand their betters and their actions better.