I think schools should be segregated.....

[Anonymous 1]

In what way is this true?

This is so true.

I think the bigger issue is finding out what schools are suited to helping those students that seem to, as you put it, not care about school, and do the minimum. Now I know some students are like that. They couldn't care less about school. They want to do other things with their time. However, there are students that have fallen through the cracks, and can't get the help they need, so they give up.

They are not all in the same category. I don't think schools should be segregated. That wouldn't help. They need to be better funded, no matter where they are. The kids are the ones that suffer when adults make these decisions that they think are best.

[Olioxenfree]

I am very confused about what anything you just wrote has anything to do with your son being active with his education. We donate both time and money, but I am not going to go on a brag list of everything I do to give because that has literally nothing to do with this.

I never went out and hoarded food and supplies, I have never boasted about how financially comfortable my family is, we do fine but are far from living it large, I never bragged about my kid saying eat the rich, I just stated that is what they said because they heard it on tv at a friends house and we talked about what it meant. By the way, eat the rich has nothing to do with canabalism and everything to do with charity, it literally means if the rich do not help the poor, it will backfire on them. It's from Rousseau. And once again, none of that has anything to do with this post so I am uncertain of why it is a conversation.

My point was that how much effort and drive a young child puts into their schoolwork often is dependent on an adult pushing that drive and making sure those things get done. Very few five year olds are going to be able to get their homework done without a reminder to do it or someone telling them the directions, etc. They aren't going to get to school on time if no one is bringing them. If you were out working 80+ hours a week, it doesn't matter if it was for a worthy cause or not, you still weren't the one doing the physical care of your child during that time, someone was bringing your kid to school, picking them up, telling them to do their homework, etc. so maybe your kid is a miracle kid who from a very young age was pushing himself to succeed in his academic future, but that is not the case for most.

I wasn’t working a shift - I was earning my six figure salary.

When our local food bank had nothing but cash donations, I went to 17 different grocery stores trying to find something for our clients to eat after those, like you, that were able to do so bought EVERYTHING. I did this without a mask (not required in March), no gloves, and no hand sanitizer. Why weren’t you out with me helping your fellow man?

I realize that I’m very fortunate in that I can split my household income into 1/3 for kids, 1/3 for charity, and 1/3 for daily living. What do you do?

If you want to boast about how financially comfortable your family is while also bragging about how your kid wants to “eat the rich” than maybe you’re not devoting enough to charity.

I spent 7 years as a volunteer guardian ad litem, 10 years volunteering at the food bank (and see my reply to poplar grove if you want to know what that volunteer work means).

I also prepare 3 meals a week for the local homeless shelter. What the f**k do you do to actually help other people?

ETA: it doesn’t matter how much I want to help a particular child. If they don’t want to be helped there is nothing I can do. As a GAL, I got a kid into his dream school - John Hopkins, pulling every connection I had to do it on a full scholarship. He chose to take a job at target rather than pursue his education.

How hard a child "tries" most often correlates with how hard a parent pushes them. Maybe you had a 100% self motivated miracle kid who from the age of five knew the value of education and didn't need a parent there to motivate them, but that isn't the case for most. While you were out working 11-16 hour shifts, someone was there pushing your kid, getting them to school on time, getting them to get their homework done, etc.

I very clearly said that if either child or parent were trying that should be enough.

And honestly, when ODS was young I worked 80+ hours a week. And when we went on vacation I generally needed to jump on a call occasionally.

Parents either try or they don’t.

[Anonymous 1]

You hold idealistic opinions that you neither pay for or work for; that’s why many on this site kind of hate you. Education funding is limited, so if you’re not going to tell your 5 year old to do his homework than off to poorly funded school he goes. The alternative is his teacher essentially ignoring the rest of the class while he focuses on helping your child. It’s simply not fair.

I always dropped off and picked up my children, even when I was working a very demanding job. There were many nights I was up working in the wee hours of the next morning, but I always paid time and attention to my children.

If you went from buying a weeks worth of food to a months, that is absolutely hoarding. Just ponder for a minute trying to buy groceries for hundreds of people 3 days after lock down.

Finally, if you have no experience working with low income children than I’m wondering how you’re forming your opinion. I’m actually a current board member for a community center that serves low income children in a neighboring town (my last response was certainly not a comprehensive charity resume). Sure, maybe 1 out of 1,000 kids who doesn’t care and whose parent doesn’t push her will succeed in school, but if you give up on saving that 1 in 1,000 you can improve the quality of education for MILLIONS of children. And you can always offer a clear path back to well-funded school for that 1 in 1,000.......it will just require a bit more effort and motivation.

I am very confused about what anything you just wrote has anything to do with your son being active with his education. We donate both time and money, but I am not going to go on a brag list of everything I do to give because that has literally nothing to do with this.

I never went out and hoarded food and supplies, I have never boasted about how financially comfortable my family is, we do fine but are far from living it large, I never bragged about my kid saying eat the rich, I just stated that is what they said because they heard it on tv at a friends house and we talked about what it meant. By the way, eat the rich has nothing to do with canabalism and everything to do with charity, it literally means if the rich do not help the poor, it will backfire on them. It's from Rousseau. And once again, none of that has anything to do with this post so I am uncertain of why it is a conversation.

My point was that how much effort and drive a young child puts into their schoolwork often is dependent on an adult pushing that drive and making sure those things get done. Very few five year olds are going to be able to get their homework done without a reminder to do it or someone telling them the directions, etc. They aren't going to get to school on time if no one is bringing them. If you were out working 80+ hours a week, it doesn't matter if it was for a worthy cause or not, you still weren't the one doing the physical care of your child during that time, someone was bringing your kid to school, picking them up, telling them to do their homework, etc. so maybe your kid is a miracle kid who from a very young age was pushing himself to succeed in his academic future, but that is not the case for most.

I wasn’t working a shift - I was earning my six figure salary.

When our local food bank had nothing but cash donations, I went to 17 different grocery stores trying to find something for our clients to eat after those, like you, that were able to do so bought EVERYTHING. I did this without a mask (not required in March), no gloves, and no hand sanitizer. Why weren’t you out with me helping your fellow man?

I realize that I’m very fortunate in that I can split my household income into 1/3 for kids, 1/3 for charity, and 1/3 for daily living. What do you do?

If you want to boast about how financially comfortable your family is while also bragging about how your kid wants to “eat the rich” than maybe you’re not devoting enough to charity.

I spent 7 years as a volunteer guardian ad litem, 10 years volunteering at the food bank (and see my reply to poplar grove if you want to know what that volunteer work means).

I also prepare 3 meals a week for the local homeless shelter. What the f**k do you do to actually help other people?

ETA: it doesn’t matter how much I want to help a particular child. If they don’t want to be helped there is nothing I can do. As a GAL, I got a kid into his dream school - John Hopkins, pulling every connection I had to do it on a full scholarship. He chose to take a job at target rather than pursue his education.

How hard a child "tries" most often correlates with how hard a parent pushes them. Maybe you had a 100% self motivated miracle kid who from the age of five knew the value of education and didn't need a parent there to motivate them, but that isn't the case for most. While you were out working 11-16 hour shifts, someone was there pushing your kid, getting them to school on time, getting them to get their homework done, etc.

[Anonymous 8]

I wasn’t working a shift - I was earning my six figure salary.

When our local food bank had nothing but cash donations, I went to 17 different grocery stores trying to find something for our clients to eat after those, like you, that were able to do so bought EVERYTHING. I did this without a mask (not required in March), no gloves, and no hand sanitizer. Why weren’t you out with me helping your fellow man?

I realize that I’m very fortunate in that I can split my household income into 1/3 for kids, 1/3 for charity, and 1/3 for daily living. What do you do?

If you want to boast about how financially comfortable your family is while also bragging about how your kid wants to “eat the rich” than maybe you’re not devoting enough to charity.

I spent 7 years as a volunteer guardian ad litem, 10 years volunteering at the food bank (and see my reply to poplar grove if you want to know what that volunteer work means).

I also prepare 3 meals a week for the local homeless shelter. What the f**k do you do to actually help other people?

ETA: it doesn’t matter how much I want to help a particular child. If they don’t want to be helped there is nothing I can do. As a GAL, I got a kid into his dream school - John Hopkins, pulling every connection I had to do it on a full scholarship. He chose to take a job at target rather than pursue his education.

How hard a child "tries" most often correlates with how hard a parent pushes them. Maybe you had a 100% self motivated miracle kid who from the age of five knew the value of education and didn't need a parent there to motivate them, but that isn't the case for most. While you were out working 11-16 hour shifts, someone was there pushing your kid, getting them to school on time, getting them to get their homework done, etc.

I very clearly said that if either child or parent were trying that should be enough.

And honestly, when ODS was young I worked 80+ hours a week. And when we went on vacation I generally needed to jump on a call occasionally.

Parents either try or they don’t.

Wow, you do a lot for so many with the wealth you've built. Your tireless efforts are much appreciated, I'm sure.



But I am also sure people of your standing know it's Johns Hopkins, not John Hopkins, lol.

[PoplarGrove]

That’s complete bullshit. You are enabling crappy parents that are full of nothing but excuses as to why they are incapable of prioritizing their children’s education in any way, shape, or form. I volunteer at a food bank and upon intake new clients are made aware of a plethora of services and programs that are available to them and their children (if applicable). We offer all sorts of help in applying for said programs and in addition have all sorts of emergency assistance available for people who are in really dire situations. When schools moved to distance learning, we collected used tablets and started offering assistance to pay for internet to support distance learning.

People need to take some personal responsibility. Help is absolutely available to those that spend just a little bit of time focusing on helping themselves and their families.

Gee, I volunteer with our local youth counselling centre mentoring parents of children with emotional disorders and mental illnesses. Many of them are low income and can't afford to pay out of pocket for services their children need. Many of them are exhausted and aren't mentally or emotionally capable of fighting for their kids anymore. Some single moms are working 3 jobs to feed, clothe and house their children and are getting little help from society or their child's school. They have few waking hours to sit on hold trying to find the services they need only to find they're being sent in circles.

There are crappy parents out there who make excuses but you seem to be painting all of them with the same brush. Until you've walked in the shoes of a low income parent trying to get help for their child please don't judge others based on the small snap shot you see of them at your food bank. Pray tell... if a parent believes their child has a mental health disorder where exactly do they go to get this help you say is readily available? I'd like to tell all the parents I chat with online where it is because a lot of them haven't been able to find it from their local schools, doctors or hospitals. And for parents who thing their child has a learning disability where exactly do they go when the school tells them there's a 2 year waiting list for testing?

I would suggest you round up a few volunteers and set up meetings with the following:

1) Social services. Explain that you’re with such and such non-profit and would like to sit down with someone who can walk you through the resources that are available for low income parents. Social workers routinely help families apply for all sorts of benefits, but only once they are involved. Almost all of those programs are available without the involvement of social services - your clients just have to apply for them themselves (you may want to then train a volunteer or two that can help parents in need of these services to apply).

2) The Department of Health. Most, if not all, states offer free or low cost insurance for children that are not only uninsured but also for children who are UNDERINSURED. At least in my state, testing and mental health services for children are definitely covered by this and income limits are much higher than they are to qualify for Medicaid.

3) Your local volunteer CASA (court appointed special advocate, often called Children in Placement). In addition to the programs that social services can tell you about, CASAs will sometimes know of special programs like camp scholarships, free in home care to give exhausted parents a break, etc.

4) Your local homeless shelter. This can be a great resource for understanding what charitable organizations are ready and able to help with mental illness and addiction services.

5) Your local food bank. If you get lucky, you may run into someone that has done steps 1-4 for your area and provides you a nice information packet about all the aid she has found that’s available, and a handy spreadsheet explaining the income and asset limits for each program .

If you do this or if you find another volunteer to do this, please make sure you drop off your end product to everyone you spoke with as well as counselors at your local schools and mentors at community centers.

ETA: your local food bank may have programs for all kinds of emergency assistance, so that’s the primary information you’re looking for from them.

That looks SO good on paper. I sure wish it worked out that beautifully in real life. I'm taking a shot in the dark and thinking you likely have never actually lived the life many of these people are living who you. But you sure like judging them while you "help" them.

[mommy_jules]

How would you staff a school like this? Monetary incentives? Because let’s be honest teacher burnout and turnover rate are big problems in education, and you are talking about sending all the students who don’t care with parents who don’t care to a school all their own. Talk about major burnout and turnover. And when (what age) would you separate the “desirables” and the “undesirables”? How do you decide that exactly?

Are we okay with someone telling us that a child is irredeemable and not worthy of the same quality of education as another? This idea of segregated schools amounts to culling.

[Olioxenfree]

If someone hates a perfect stranger because of their opinion on the internet, that is sad and a problem with you, not with me. What are you talking about, that I don't work or pay for? I have worked and paid for everything that I have in my life. A child should not have their future taken away because their parents did not make them do their homework when they were five. So you were working 80+ hour weeks, doing all of this volunteer work on top of that, and still were the one picking your kids up, dropping them off, were their caretaker when they weren't in school, and were doing their homework with them? That literally is impossible. And there you go, claiming that it was all you making sure your kids were doing their school work. So why did you use that example when I explained that many parents aren't able to be home for those hours and aren't able to be there to push their kids to succeed in school?

I have have always shopped for 2-4 weeks out, that did not change when the pandemic started. It is much cheaper to buy half a cow from a local farmer than to buy beef every week at the grocery store. It's much cheaper to buy a 20 pound sack of rice than a one pound every few days. That isn't hoarding, we never bought more than usual or more than we would need.

I have experience working with low income children which is why I can say that you have no place working with them with your attitudes. Another reason why I am 99% sure you're a troll. By the way, it's Johns Hopkins.

You hold idealistic opinions that you neither pay for or work for; that’s why many on this site kind of hate you. Education funding is limited, so if you’re not going to tell your 5 year old to do his homework than off to poorly funded school he goes. The alternative is his teacher essentially ignoring the rest of the class while he focuses on helping your child. It’s simply not fair.

I always dropped off and picked up my children, even when I was working a very demanding job. There were many nights I was up working in the wee hours of the next morning, but I always paid time and attention to my children.

If you went from buying a weeks worth of food to a months, that is absolutely hoarding. Just ponder for a minute trying to buy groceries for hundreds of people 3 days after lock down.

Finally, if you have no experience working with low income children than I’m wondering how you’re forming your opinion. I’m actually a current board member for a community center that serves low income children in a neighboring town (my last response was certainly not a comprehensive charity resume). Sure, maybe 1 out of 1,000 kids who doesn’t care and whose parent doesn’t push her will succeed in school, but if you give up on saving that 1 in 1,000 you can improve the quality of education for MILLIONS of children. And you can always offer a clear path back to well-funded school for that 1 in 1,000.......it will just require a bit more effort and motivation.

I am very confused about what anything you just wrote has anything to do with your son being active with his education. We donate both time and money, but I am not going to go on a brag list of everything I do to give because that has literally nothing to do with this.

I never went out and hoarded food and supplies, I have never boasted about how financially comfortable my family is, we do fine but are far from living it large, I never bragged about my kid saying eat the rich, I just stated that is what they said because they heard it on tv at a friends house and we talked about what it meant. By the way, eat the rich has nothing to do with canabalism and everything to do with charity, it literally means if the rich do not help the poor, it will backfire on them. It's from Rousseau. And once again, none of that has anything to do with this post so I am uncertain of why it is a conversation.

My point was that how much effort and drive a young child puts into their schoolwork often is dependent on an adult pushing that drive and making sure those things get done. Very few five year olds are going to be able to get their homework done without a reminder to do it or someone telling them the directions, etc. They aren't going to get to school on time if no one is bringing them. If you were out working 80+ hours a week, it doesn't matter if it was for a worthy cause or not, you still weren't the one doing the physical care of your child during that time, someone was bringing your kid to school, picking them up, telling them to do their homework, etc. so maybe your kid is a miracle kid who from a very young age was pushing himself to succeed in his academic future, but that is not the case for most.

I wasn’t working a shift - I was earning my six figure salary.

When our local food bank had nothing but cash donations, I went to 17 different grocery stores trying to find something for our clients to eat after those, like you, that were able to do so bought EVERYTHING. I did this without a mask (not required in March), no gloves, and no hand sanitizer. Why weren’t you out with me helping your fellow man?

I realize that I’m very fortunate in that I can split my household income into 1/3 for kids, 1/3 for charity, and 1/3 for daily living. What do you do?

If you want to boast about how financially comfortable your family is while also bragging about how your kid wants to “eat the rich” than maybe you’re not devoting enough to charity.

I spent 7 years as a volunteer guardian ad litem, 10 years volunteering at the food bank (and see my reply to poplar grove if you want to know what that volunteer work means).

I also prepare 3 meals a week for the local homeless shelter. What the f**k do you do to actually help other people?

ETA: it doesn’t matter how much I want to help a particular child. If they don’t want to be helped there is nothing I can do. As a GAL, I got a kid into his dream school - John Hopkins, pulling every connection I had to do it on a full scholarship. He chose to take a job at target rather than pursue his education.

[Anonymous 9]

What would be the age that you would start segregating students - elementary, middle, high, kindergarten? And what would be the matrix you would use to determine which students were being supported by parents and/or which students were not motivated?

[Fullxbusymom]

I personally do not agree with that what so ever.

[WellPreserved]

Well this is kind of a horrific idea. ALL CHILDREN are entitled to an equal education regardless of their race, ethnic background, religion, S*x, or whether or not their parent(s) attend PTA meetings.